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“I think there might be snakes in the water here, so might be a little interesting.”

On March 30, 2013, a date which will live in infancy, I became a grandfather.

When I was a kid, I knew all the dinosaurs — not personally, of course, because they were extinct by then, and woolly mammoths roamed the earth. But I was a fan of such prehistoric stars as brontosaurus, Tyrannosaurus rex and especially Raquel Welch, who wore a cave woman bikini…

Here is today’s test in basic arithmetic: If you had two grade-schoolers and one college graduate who happens to be the kids’ grandfather, and you gave each of them a math quiz, how many would flunk?