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The Latest Breaking News from David Foldvari

Never mind the fate of life on Earth, what about the cat-children?

Confected controversies and Jonny Bairstow’s supposed heroics generate more concern than genuine unfolding catastrophe

The Guardian - UK

Who would pay to hear our drivel? That appears to be the Tories’ logic

Charging journalists to attend their party conference suggests the Conservatives hope to win the next election by staying under the radar

The Guardian - UK

If wanting fair, accurate political coverage means I’m a nerd, knit me a tank top

Luckily the great British public were on hand to help Laura Kuenssberg correct the record last week

The Guardian - UK

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Would you put an erect penis on a packet of cheese? Absolutely no whey

Removing the incongruous image of the Cerne Abbas giant’s member from a dairy product was the upstanding thing to do

The Guardian - UK

Never mind his WhatsApp messages – can Boris Johnson himself be disappeared?

Escaping the toxic radioactive half-life of his degraded legacy means the Tories will also have to vanish the former PM

The Guardian - UK

Take it from someone in a TV duo: Holly and Phil are simply sick of each other

Whatever the specifics of Willoughby and Schofield’s quarrel, a major cause can be summarised in two words: you again

The Guardian - UK

Rishi Sunak’s football video is a political own goal

The PM’s scattergun attempts at image projection tell us nothing about who he really is

The Guardian - UK

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God save the king? What about the planet?

The eco-minded king’s silence about the detention of climate activists at his coronation speaks volumes about his convictions

The Guardian - UK

The anti-fraud Tories? You couldn’t make it up…

Rishi Sunak’s war on fraudsters might as well have been announced with an animation of a cartoon fox advising us on how to protect chickens

The Guardian - UK

Sunak’s sushi train Tories are like a banquet of filth

Oliver Dowden’s appointment as deputy PM proves that the Conservatives’ shallow well of talent is as rancid as our waterways

The Guardian - UK

Further maths from Sunak is still a fail

The PM banging on – again – about numeracy doesn’t look likely to provoke the conflict he’s hoping for

The Guardian - UK

Britain is a dying nation in need of new curators

The Tories’ scorched earth policy has wrecked our rivers, our NHS, our freedom of movement. Now even 6 Music is at risk

The Guardian - UK

Struggling with nouns? Robert Jenrick can help

The immigration minister has allowed me to see things more clearly after a bout of post-Covid brain fog

The Guardian - UK

Has London reached peak toxicity?

The UK capital, stagnant with oligarchs, is now so despised that even institutions such as the BBC are jumping ship

The Guardian - UK

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The Guardian - UK

My attire this season? Anything unnoticeable

Like TV journalist Michael Crick, I’m a fan of ties. But for precisely the opposite reason

The Guardian - UK

After Garygate, I’ve shown my BBC licence fee the red card

In response to the Gary Lineker saga, should we defund the broadcaster or continue to support it? Both options are a win for the Tories

The Guardian - UK

Elon Musk is the Basil Fawlty of social media

The Twitter owner’s latest public debacle over a sacked worker can only do more damage to the company’s future prosperity

The Guardian - UK

Brexit has reversed the brains of Sunak and Starmer

The prime minister now supports the EU more enthusiastically than Labour and it’s hard to know which way is up

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The Guardian - UK

‘Updating’ Roald Dahl? It’s the same old story…

Rewriting the children’s author is about profit not ‘wokeness’ – part of the endless recycling and exploitation of old ideas

The Guardian - UK

The ghosts of rotten Tories haunt my routine

As the Conservative casualties pile up, thank heavens for Lee Anderson, the no-nonsense MP for Ashfield

The Guardian - UK

The return of Fawlty Towers can’t rival the Truss comeback farce

The former prime minister’s lack of self-awareness would be comedy gold if her prose weren’t so desperately dull

The Guardian - UK

Let’s hear it for the dying virtue of modesty

From self-help books to Oscar campaigns, lots of people are telling us that self-promotion is good. Resist the boasters!

The Guardian - UK

The reluctant pope is a valuable lesson in public service

From police officers to politicians, people who are keen to occupy powerful positions should be treated with caution

The Guardian - UK

Thanks to Nadhim Zahawi, the Tories’ bar of shame has reached new depths

The chair of the Conservative party has had to cough up millions of pounds he owed in tax after a dispute with HMRC over an offshore family trust

The Guardian - UK

Prince Harry’s frostbite has taken the heat off the Tories

As our health service collapses, the government have taken cover – behind the Duke of Sussex’s penis

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