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Edinburgh Live
National
Dayna McAlpine

Woman fumes after friend comes over and lets daughter away with 'annoying habit'

A woman has been left asking whether 'times have changed' following her friend's behaviour while visiting with her toddler.

Taking to Mumsnet to question whether her feelings were unreasonable, the woman, who admitted that she didn't have children herself, shared how she 'can't get a word in edgeways' if her friend comes to visit with her child in tow.

Writing on Mumsnet's AIBU forum (Am I Being Unreasonable), she explained: "Have times changed? When I was young I was taught to keep quiet when adults were speaking.

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"I don't have children myself, but have friends who do, and I've noticed that when they visit with their toddlers I can't get a word in edgeways! Mum is constantly chatting away to the child/asking if he needs a wee/wants an apple blah blah. I end up in most cases just sitting and watching them interact. It's as though I'm not even there I find it pretty rude tbh and wonder why they even bothered visiting.

"I completely understand children are demanding and need attention- but sometimes halfway through a sentence they just randomly lose total interest. It's as though they are all consumed by Motherhood and have totally forgotten how to hold an adult convo."

However, in the comments section, many Mumsnet users were left split over who was in the wrong in this situation.

One wrote in defence of the original poster: "YANBU. It's my pet hate. Children need to be taught social skills and that it's rude to interrupt unless it's important."

"Agree 100%", added another. "I don’t believe kids should be seen and not heard, but there’s nothing wrong with sending the kids off the play while the adults have a cuppa and a chat. Kids should know they aren’t the centre of the earth all the time."

One mum argued that it was all part of being friends with a parent, penning: "Don't kid yourself that you were different when you were a kid - you'll have interrupted just as much as your friends kid does now but you won't remember it as it'll have felt acceptable to you at the time. Young kids have terrible impulse control, not because they are brats but because their brain is still very immature and the impulse control part of their brain literally isn't there yet.

"So if your friend is acting as she is, its probably because she knows that if she doesn't deal with it fast it'll get 1000% more annoying. She'll hate nit being able to get through a conversation too, it just is what it is with small kids. It's not 'letting them' so they become brats, it's dealing with the stage of their life as best as can be done. They grow out of it."

"Toddlers are too young to be taught to wait quietly though," one added. "I suggest you meet with your friends without their DC.

"When I had toddlers I would never have expected to meet up with a friend and have a proper conversation. It wasn’t possible.

"So we had child free evenings together instead. They happened rarely, but we got 10x the proper conversation as we would have in meetings up with DC."

What do you think? Is one of the two parties in the wrong? Let us know in the comments.

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