Picture the scene: a small girl sitting at a large dining table staring dolefully at a sorry-looking pile of cold carrots and wondering how she might secretly dispose of them.
That child was me. I still vividly recall the misery of sitting there, for hours sometimes, because my parents were adamant I eat all the food I had been given – even if it made me feel nauseous.
I’m sure my parents were not intending to cause me distress, but they were from a generation where “clearing your plate” was a non-negotiable expectation for children at mealtimes.
So the culinary psychodrama would continue, often ending with my father angrily enquiring: “What about children who don’t have enough food to eat – have you thought about that?”
People starving in Africa is quite a guilt trip to put on an eight-year-old who isn’t keen on carrots.
The reason I have cast my mind back to these erstwhile dinnertime battles is that parents are now being warned that forcing their children to eat everything on their plates could be fuelling Britain’s obesity crisis.
A poll for the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) has found that 37 per cent of parents always or often make children eat all the food put in front of them. Half of them said, at least once a week, they let their children have second helpings.
But with one in 10 children classed as obese by the time they join primary school, nutritional experts have cast doubt on whether it’s a healthy approach to encourage children to eat every morsel and even go for seconds.
In the wake of the survey’s findings, BNF nutrition communications manager Bridget Benelam, counselled: “Research has shown that large portions of food encourage both adults and children to eat more, so getting portion sizes right is an important element of having a balanced diet that supports a healthy body weight.”
It’s certainly made me feel a little more confident about my own approach to feeding my five-year-old son.
I made a conscious decision very early in parenthood to never demand Jem eat everything on his plate. Admittedly, this is not because I am concerned that he will overeat, as he has always been a healthy and normal weight. But, in light of my own difficult mealtime experiences in the formative years, I never wanted to put my son under any pressure to finish his dinner.
My strong feeling is that I want him to consume food because he finds it appetising – not because I am forcing him to do so. So I have never made him eat that final piece of broccoli – lucky for him there’s a shortage… – or finish off the last spoonful of peas.
I’m aware some will disagree with what they might see as “pandering” to a child’s whims. Young children are notoriously picky eaters, and parents clearly have a responsibility to ensure they are consuming all the nutrients they need.
Also, as a mother, I am very aware of how infuriating it is when you have spent time lovingly preparing what you believe is a delicious meal, only for your little darling to declare that it tastes “yucky”.
But even with these frustrations, I still believe that eating should be a pleasurable experience for children as much as adults.
And I’m in pretty good company, too. Prince Philip – who kept himself trim throughout his life with an 11-minute exercise routine created by the Royal Canadian Air Force – had a mealtime rule at Windsor that guests should help themselves to whatever they fancied, but warned it would be frowned upon if they didn’t then clear their plate.
While I’ll always insist that my son at least try the dishes I present to him, I’d never insist he finish every last scrap. I’m not a monster like Mary Poppins.
My only hope is this might ultimately help him develop a love of good food, rather than viewing eating as a compulsory task that must be performed like washing your face or brushing your teeth.
