The Japanese ambassador to Australia, Shingo Yamagami, is a big fan of Australian flora and fauna but not so keen on the magpie, who he has described as "the bird of terror", especially with spring on our doorstep.
Mr Yamagami, who writes whimsical newsletters about life in Australia and Canberra, devoted two whole editions to the magpie, who, he told his readers back home, had "a beak that is as sharply honed as a letter opener".
The ambassador says the magpies gather at the kitchen window each morning at his official residence looking for food, because apparently one of his predecessors used to feed them.
Dear magpies, how about we call it a truce this swooping season? Look, I’m even trying to blend in more. If the urge to go after my helmet proves too tempting, have a complimentary chopstick. They’re scented with sushi and Wagyu beef 😋 Yours in res-peck-t, YS pic.twitter.com/7w8KcWt5Of
— Ambassador YAMAGAMI Shingo (@YamagamiShingo) August 27, 2022
"This is a blind spot that wasn't touched upon in my 'handover documentation'," he deadpanned in the newsletter.
"Some may ask, 'Are you also giving them food?'. No, no, no. No matter how often they gaze at me with pleading eyes, I will not break.
"If they start to think of me as a generous old bloke then they'll gather one after another and there'll be no end to it. And I can't get Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds out of my head."
Mr Yamagami said he watched the warm-hearted Australian movie about a paralysed woman and her magpie - Penguin Bloom, starring Naomi Watt - in a bid to soften his heart to the birds.
"No matter how many times I've seen it, it still hasn't extinguished my fear of magpies," he wrote.
So it was no surprise, with spring officially sprung this Thursday, and magpies in full swooping mode, that the ambassador was taking all precautions as he rode his bike around the national capital.
On the weekend, he called on the magpies to "call it a truce this swooping season?".
"Look, I'm even trying to blend in more," he said, wearing a Collingwood Magpies jumper.
"If the urge to go after my helmet proves too tempting, have a complimentary chopstick. They're scented with sushi and Wagyu beef. Yours in res-peck-t, YS."
Don't you just love him?
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