“One of them is the glove slap. They get the goalkeeper’s glove, soak it in water, and then t**t them across the face – twice."
In many ways, Michael Duff's inventive forfeits perfectly encapsulated the culture he installed at Cheltenham Town.
Keeping players grounded has become increasingly difficult in the modern age, but the new Swansea City boss clearly likes to think he has a knack for deflating egos in his dressing room, and the results arguably speak for themselves.
Discussing his approach in a wide-ranging Guardian interview last year, Duff admitted the art of ensuring every member of his squad is working on the same level is central to his overarching philosophy.
"We often laugh because we say: ‘Can you imagine Ronaldo doing this?’ They have to do roly-polys from 18-yard box to 18-yard box. It’s horrible. But they all do it," he continued.
"Everyone’s the same. Don’t decide: ‘Well, he’s more important than her so I’m going to say hello to him but I’m going to blank the cleaner.’ It’s a load of nonsense.
"Just because you’re a footballer, it’s not acceptable to be a k***head.”
Duff's outlook on coaching, and expertise in cutting players down to size, is heavily influenced by watching former boss Sean Dyche at Burnley, where the Northern Irishman spent 12 seasons as a player before later coaching the under-18s and under-23s.
Cheltenham soon came calling in 2018, giving him even more licence to express himself as a tactician and motivator. Indeed, Duff found inspiration for his methods in some of the most unlikely places, including pupils at Swindon Village primary school, who used to play football near to where his Cheltenham side trained.
“We’ve done it a couple of times at the start of training," he said at the time. “‘Lads, just listen. Just run around and listen.’ There is no thought of egos or anything like that – they haven’t got an ego because they’re six years old; they’re just running around enjoying themselves. ‘Enjoy yourself, what a great place to be.’”
It clearly worked a charm, with Cheltenham earning their first ever automatic promotion, before then earning their highest ever finish in League One the following season.
His work in guiding a largely unfancied Barnsley to the League One play-off final last season has only heightened the anticipation around his arrival at Swansea, with many Swans fans now allowing themselves the luxury of looking forward to the new campaign, after weeks of uncertainty.
The players themselves had their first taste of life under the new boss when they arrived for pre-season training at Fairwood on Friday, and will likely be put firmly through their paces when they jet out to a training camp in Spain this week.
Getting fitness levels up will be the main aim, and if he's anything like his coaching muse Dyche then the players should probably prepare themselves for a gruelling few days in the Alicante sunshine.
But this trip will also be about getting to know what makes each member of the squad tick too.
“From my point of view, heading to Spain will be that opportunity to get eyes on the players and find out everything about them,” Duff said.
“To see how they cope with physicality, how they cope with pressure, how they cope with stress.
“Then it’s about seeing them around the place and getting to know them as people because that’s the most important thing.
“The work in Spain will be about fitness, it’s not about dropping in tactical information or anything like that because the squad is thinner than it will be come the start of the season.
“It’s about getting fitness levels up and meeting the players as much as anything.”
Whether there are any creative forfeits in store remains to be seen.
