BIG SECOND-TIER ENERGY IS COMING
Is state-level wealth ruining your Saturday? Can’t bring yourself to attend Non-League Day or watch your son or daughter hack it around the garden? Fear not, welcome to the Championship, a glorious compromise of quality and disorder to help you fall back in love with football. It is a division of unadulterated chaos. Pick a team, and who knows whether they will be automatically promoted or relegated. Some critics might complain about parachute payments, sure, but Leicester City are definitely, definitely going to get turned over by Rotherham next season, and there’s nothing that you or Enzo Maresca can do about it. So with the fixture list out this week and some teams already in pre-season for 2023-24, Football Daily has created the Biggest Championship Energy league table, ranking each side by their Championship-ness.
1) Birmingham City We promise this is not just an alphabetical list. No current team has been in the second tier longer than Blues, who are deservedly crowned champions here, but haven’t been above 10th since 2011-12 in the real table. Any team that had Troy Deeney – the protagonist of surely the Championship’s greatest ever moment – as their skipper last season, was surely going to be the runaway leader here.
2) Huddersfield Town Neil Warnock. You merely adopted the Championship. He was born in it. Moulded by it. After last year’s relegation battle, Town could easily finish anywhere from second to 24th this year under Warnock. It doesn’t get any more Championship than that.
3) Millwall The Lions have just about everything it takes to be Championship legends. A manager named Gary. A 6ft 4in centre-back in Jake Cooper. The Den is pure Championship, absolute chaos from the moment you get off the train at South Bermondsey. They should not be good, but they are. And that is what the Championship is all about.
4) Watford The first of the hallowed ‘yo-yo’ trio – also made up of Norwich and West Brom. Possibly the most chaotic club in English football, so always going to challenge, but Watford’s recent success in the Premier League sees them finish just outside the automatic places here. Valérien Ismaël is the club’s 18th manager in 13 years. Any club that can count Elton John and Harry the Hornet as club legends deserves a playoff berth.
5) Norwich They may have flickered between the Premier League and the Championship, but Norwich certainly feel more at home in the latter. The presence of condiments, Delia and the East Anglian derby’s welcome return – aka El Tráctico, aka the Old Farm – means a strong showing for the Canaries here.
6) Queens Park Rangers Tucked in the White City estate, Loftus Road is a Proper Football Stadium, complete with pillars restricting your view, a postage stamp for a technical area and Kevin Gallen in the hospitality suites. An injection of pure EFL energy in the form of Gareth Ainsworth saw QPR safe last season, and sees them consolidate their Championship-ness here.
7) Sheffield Wednesday The Owls haven’t been in the Championship for a couple of seasons, but the departure of manager Darren Moore sees them crash back in the second tier with a bang. If they can bring just half of the League One playoff vibes into this campaign, they will challenge for the top six.
8) Blackburn Rovers Failing to build on last season’s promising campaign and falling back into competitive mediocrity would be textbook Championship. Rovers’ excellent use of the loan system (a key part of second-tier transfer dealings) – Harvey Elliott, Adam Armstrong, Harrison Reed and Tosin Adarabioyo have all arrived from Premier League clubs in recent years – sees them comfortably in the top half here. And that’s not even mentioning the departed Ben Brereton Díaz.
9) Bristol City If someone can get Nigel Pearson talking about ostriches again, the Robins should make a late run for the top six.
10) Hull City Congratulations if you can name a single Hull player. Which, in this table, is a strength. Hull creep into the top 10 on account of the city recently being named as the UK City of Culture. The Championship is all about being aspirational.
11) Preston North End Mid-table specialists, Preston have not finished higher than seventh and lower than 14th since promotion to the Championship in 2015. Instantly forgettable these days, that doesn’t mean they won’t hold you to a goalless draw, which is a very Championship trait.
12) Cardiff City Apart from two single seasons in the Premier League, Cardiff have been Championship perennials since the name change from Division One. No team with a managerial back catalogue of Warnock, Dave Jones, Neil Harris, Mick McCarthy can be relegated from this list, so a comfortable mid-table berth it is.
13) Swansea City Too good for League One, not good enough for the Premier League. The appointment of manager and dance innovator Michael Duff (D/DM R) from Barnsley is very Championship and should go down a treat on Wind Street.
14) Stoke City Cold, wet, windy nights. Technically, the heritage of this idiom is from the Premier League, but anyone that has been to Tuesday night games in Staffordshire in recent years will tell you Stoke are right at home in this division.
15) West Bromwich Albion With the parachute payments finally running out, it feels like this could be a season of struggle for the Baggies. Which is why, in this league, they will probably get automatic promotion in the actual table. A bit too successful and rich to be a classic Championship side of the genre, so mid-table here it is.
16) Ipswich Town As nicknames go, it doesn’t get more Championship than “The Tractor Boys”. Minus points for having Ed Sheeran as a fan (and shirt sponsor).
17) Sunderland Bonus points for Tony Mowbray – especially when his press conferences are dominated by a love of chocolate. Demerit points for the Netflix documentary, which must either be glossy (Drive to Survive, Full Swing) or a rags-to-riches story (Last Chance U, Wrexham), not an upcoming season that ends on a high.
18) Leicester City Jamie Vardy might be an EFL legend but having won the Premier League title in 2016 and the FA Cup in 2021, the Championship is no longer familiar territory for the Foxes. Back-to-back relegations is tough to take, any potential return of Anthony Knockaert this summer would surely see Leicester safe.
19) Leeds United Of the three teams relegated from the Premier League, Leeds certainly feel the most Championship, but their fans are also the most likely to be chanting “we are Premier League” by February. A real shame that Sam Allardyce is not still at the helm. What could have been.
20) Rotherham Really a League One side masquerading as a Championship team, but like a lesser Millwall, they still have the capacity to spring a few surprises. But after a few good years at the New York Stadium, could this season be a step too far?
21) Southampton It’s been 11 seasons since Saints were languishing in the second tier. With James Ward-Prowse and Roméo Lavia still at the club (for now), the Championship just doesn’t feel right, although the imminent arrival of Russell Martin as manager should save them from the drop.
22) Middlesbrough Championship stalwarts, Boro are now in the enviable position of being too trendy for the second tier, with their liquid football and stable owner in Steve Gibson. Have you seen Michael Carrick in a turtleneck? Woof! Far too $exy for the second tier. Down you go.
23) Coventry City Cov have been as chaotic as they come, but the playoff finalists simply don’t belong in the Championship. They belong in League One or in the higher echelon of the past, where we can talk endlessly about Mustapha Hadji and Youssef Chippo, Peter Ndlovu and retro kits. With apologies, they are relegated.
24) Plymouth Argyle Not complete strangers to this division, having surfed the Championship waves from 2004-10 (Emile Mpenza! Taribo West!), but having spent seven seasons in League Two since, survival here definitely feels a step too far, especially after the ongoing rebuild of last year’s League One champions.
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