INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL … BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT
For some years now, England’s Lionesses and their ever-growing army of allies have not so much demanded as politely suggested they should be treated equally to their male counterparts and with a penalty shootout looming against Germany on Sunday night, it looked like they might finally achieve parity in the most hideously predictable manner imaginable. But with 10 minutes of extra time remaining, Chloe Kelly stuck out a toe to stab the ball past Merle Frohms in the German goal to avoid the trauma of the inevitable shootout defeat, before removing her shirt and putting it back on again all the better to keep the ball down by the corner flag for most of the next 10 minutes.
While the Fiver has no particular desire to get involved in any kind of tedious culture war, it’s worth noting that the match was played in front of a crowd of 87,192 people, almost all of whom seemed to be having – whisper it – a genuinely good time. The sound of songs about German bombers was conspicuous by its absence, while there was barely a puce middle-aged face contorted with spittle-flecked rage to be seen. As England collected their first major trophy since 1966 the crowd basked in bawdy bonhomie rather than jingoistic triumphalism – it was international football, Clive … but not as we know it.
This morning, England’s jubilant players emerged blinking into the sunlight, with several looking commendably the worse for wear. Dark glasses were employed by many to hide the ravages of what one presumes was a raucous night of well-earned celebration, while Lucy Bronze appeared to have gone “full Flintoff” and pitched up at a packed Trafalgar Square looking heartwarmingly refreshed and wearing what looked suspiciously like ski goggles. “There was lots of music,” said the Lionesses coach Sarina Wiegman. “Lots of dancing and English people can really drink. There was a little bit too much alcohol. But that’s OK. We enjoyed it. When you have these accomplishments it’s really good to party.”
England’s women have had to fight for their right to party and with the celebrations set to continue for some days to come, it’s worth remembering their captain Leah Williamson’s post-match assertion that the result marked the start, rather than the end of a journey for her teammates and all who play the women’s game in England. The final was viewed by a peak UK TV audience of 17.4 million, the vast majority of whom have probably never attended a WSL game in their lives.
“I think a lot of people have fallen in love with women’s football this summer,” said Ella Toone, who scored England’s opener with ice-cold aplomb. “That’s what we set out to do. So hopefully with the crowds that we’ve had this summer we can get into our grounds at club level and some more fans at the stadium to be on the journey with us.” With the future of the women’s game looking so bright, it’s small wonder so many of the Lionesses are wearing shades.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Little bit rough” – England captain Leah Williamson, perhaps with a scintilla of understatement, reveals how she’s feeling on Monday morning.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around the final Euro 2022 edition of Women’s Football Weekly right here.
And it’s double-bubble day for audiophiles – Football Weekly is here too!
FIVER LETTERS
“I see your paranoia has led you to fall under Franz Beckenbauer’s mind games (Friday’s Fiver) and his spouting rubbish about Germany winning on penalties and your fears that he is probably right. Wimps. England will win in 90 minutes. Written at 13:30 on Saturday so go on print it” – John Stainton.
“I would like to sincerely thank Niall Flanagan (and 1,056 others) for expressing commiserations for my failure to qualify for prizeless letter o’ the day, for the same letter, published on consecutive days. As Mr Flanagan points out, this is barely believable in itself, but I would further point out that on the first day my letter was published, there were actually no other contributors. Just saying” – Lee Smith.
“Getting p*ssed off with the Fiver and all his pseudo relatives (nicked from Colombo, the greatest detective show of all time). Subliminal and bliminal political opinions masquerading as yuma. Just talk football ffs” – The Don.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Lee Smith.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The Queen was among those to take to social media disgrace Twitter to congratulate England’s players after the final on Sunday. “Fantastic, what a result, I’m made up,” Her Maj typed. We may be paraphrasing a touch.
David Baddiel says Three Lions should be retired” after Euro 1996 England’s Euro 2022 triumph. “I’m very happy to think the song would, in a way, be put to bed,” he parped belatedly.
Don’t forget the plucky little Premier League! Christian Eriksen says he spoke to a bevvie of former Manchester United managers while he was at Spurs. “For me, it wasn’t the [right] timing,” he cheered.
Chelsea are close to nabbing Marc Cucurella from under Manchester City’s nose for £50m worth of Boehly tokens.
And Bournemouth have signed Boro midfield schemer Marcus Tavernier for around £10m.
STILL WANT MORE?
This is only the beginning, writes Jonathan Liew.
How can England build on their Euro 2022 triumph? Our writers offer five big ideas.
“There she was sprinting across the turf at Wembley, teammates in pursuit, the white shirt that will forever be historic in her hand, waved wildly above her head” – Sid Lowe on Chloe Kelly and a memorable night at Wembley.
Here’s Lucy Ward on an iconic photo that has echoes of Brandi Chastain and 1999.
Martin Belam offers 10 things to celebrate about the tournament.
Alexandra Popp’s warmup woes robbed her of fairytale finish with Germany, writes Nick Ames
Don’t forget the plucky little Premier League! Again! Here are our season previews for Leicester and Liverpool.
Get your fill of transfer tittle-tattle in The Rumour Mill.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
