Shirley Ballas fought back tears as she talked about her brother's suicide and how she could have helped him, knowing what she she knows now.
The Strictly Come Dancing judge, 61, appeared on This Morning on Wednesday and became emotional as she reflected on her sibling David, who died by suicide nearly 20 years ago aged just 44.
Shirley discussed how there were warning signs David was struggling as she spoke about the importance of raising awareness for Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and male suicide.
Speaking to Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, she said: "If I knew now back then, I could have really helped in a much better way. So communication is key."
Shirley went on to discuss what David was like, explaining: "Everybody loved him. He was a big brother. He was like a father. He was everything to me.
"We talked every day at four o'clock. He was really the last person that I would ever think would take his own life."
The ballroom dancer revealed there were warning signs prior to his suicide, but she would say, 'oh, you'll be fine.'
"You know, there were little things that he would say or comments that he would make," she said.
"He wouldn't even go the hospital, he just didn't want anybody to know."
Shirley explained the other warning signs to look out for with the people around us.
"Well, first of all, if somebody changes a habit one minute they've been super jovial, the next minute they're down or they're not bathing or they're not turning up for appointments... I think these start to be little signs," the star said.
"We have to be astute. And our lives are so packed as mine was back then it's you know, 'you'll be fine.' I've had people say that to me during some of the darkest times in my life.
"'Oh, you're strong. You'll be fine.' If you don't know what's going on inside and even when my brother passed it was, 'it will be fine.' Well, you know what, if you haven't been through this, it won't be fine.
"You learn to live with it, but it never goes away."
Shirley has been open about her brother's suicide and how she wishes she knew more about the signs and what to do.
Get all the biggest showbiz news straight to your inbox. Sign up for the free Mirror Showbiz newsletter.
In 2019, she took part in Kilimanjaro: The Bigger Red Nose Climb and teared up when discussing David.
She said: "He left no note. No goodbye.
"I can only imagine 16 years ago if my brother had somewhere to go and someone to talk to," she said.
"It’s a lonelier place without him, but I can only imagine the place he was in,” the Strictly judge added.
"I think my brother would be proud of me. I miss him so I'm doing this for him," she explained. "If it means sleeping in a tent and being disorganised then so be it."
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
