Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host spoke about the right continually “grasping for some new culture war issue” with the latest somehow being washing machines, given the latest attempt to try to make them more eco-friendly.
Meyers showed clips of angry Fox News commentators before saying the only serious kitchen issue at the moment is that “dishwashers are too quiet now”.
He said that the Republicans have “no discernible policy agenda aside from whining about wokeness, a term they can’t even define”.
Ron DeSantis has even tried to create a new term, recently complaining about an “oppressive woke-ocracy”. Meyers said he was “pretty sure saying that gives you step throat” before suggesting that the reason he made it up is because it’s “such a mouthful that Donald Trump can’t pronounce it”.
He called the party “a thoroughly unserious political movement” before moving on to their attempts to link the fall of Silicon Valley Bank to their diversity AKA wokeness.
Meyers joked that he was “tired of all these radical leftist banks” and that “if a bank can be woke then literally anything can be woke”.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by talking about the Russian fighter jet which collided with a US drone this week.
He said they “didn’t even leave a note on the windshield” before playing footage of the Pentagon’s press secretary claiming the incident involved the fighter jet “dumping fuel” on the drone.
“Did Russia just pee on our drone?” he asked before criticising them for “bullying an inanimate object”.
It was also recommended that we take any official account from Russia with a “huge grain of salt” after a very different turn of events was suggested on their end. Colbert joked: “A huge grain of salt or as Russian soldiers call it: lunch.”
Lindsey Graham used it as an opportunity to criticise Joe Biden, suggesting he was too lenient and wondering what Ronald Reagan would do if he were in charge right now. “He would take Russia down by funneling crack into their neighbourhoods,” Colbert said.
He moved on to Donald Trump, a “huge Putin fanboy” who this week suggested he would “hand Russia chunks of Ukraine” to solve the crisis. His pro-Russia stance has mostly not been aped by other Republicans but this week saw DeSantis refer to it as a “territorial dispute” that the US shouldn’t be involved with.
“You were a history major at Yale,” Colbert said. “Was that the university or the lock company?”
He said that DeSantis was “clearly giving aid and comfort to Putin” as his words were “released on a Russian propaganda programme: Tucker Carlson Tonight”.
He moved back to Trump and his “quintillion court cases” including one focused on his hush money to Stormy Daniels which may have been an illegal campaign contribution.
Reports claim that criminal charges are “likely” and Colbert added: “I’ve been hurt before but I’ll take reports of charges likely.”
