Normally when I write one of these columns I pick a subject, think about it for a bit, do some research to check I am not talking rubbish, then I write it. Ideally I will pick something that is either relevant/in the news/topical or I will pick something that isn’t getting the attention it deserves. This week I wanted to opt for the former and speak about one of the most topical issues of the day – trans rights.
But then something happened, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Sure, I wrote about three columns trying to articulate my views on the issue but I couldn’t take that final step of submitting for the public’s view. It wasn’t that I didn’t like what I had written, it wasn’t that I thought the pieces lacked balance, it was simply that I was scared of the reaction those pieces would get from people.
Perhaps that makes me a cowardly journalist. Maybe I am too spineless to put my head above the parapet. But I really don’t think that’s it. I write about really important subjects every day. Poverty, Covid, politics, race, crime, you name it, I have written about it.
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The reason I baulked at publishing absolutely anything to do with gender in our society, trans people or (whisper it) JK Rowling, is that the debate becomes so toxic. Anything I write faces the very real possibility of being spun, twisted and deliberately misconstrued.
So my column isn’t actually about trans issues, it is about the fact that reasonable people, who are thoughtful, not bigots and who fully acknowledge the huge misery inflicted on trans people for not being able to be who they really are, do not feel able to speak about trans issues. And this is a massive, massive problem.
The way that all issues in society are ultimately remedied is by human beings speaking to each other, understanding the issues and, crucially, getting people with a different point of view to change their minds. It is very hard to do this if reasonable people are scared to even talk about an issue publicly for fear of either causing offence or being labelled a bigot.
Let’s be absolutely clear, there is a huge difference between someone who is actively bigoted against trans people and someone who is simply uninformed on the subject. The former should rightly be stood up to. The latter should be encouraged to learn more, have the issue explained reasonably and treated with decency. They shouldn’t be publicly shamed or labelled as a ‘transphobe’ because they aren’t fully up to speed about how far the debate on trans rights has come on in recent decades.
This is a distinction that, particularly on social media, is often ignored. You see it in politics. I am often left astounded by the amount of people on the left who blithely label Tory voters as ‘scum’, forgetting the fact that if they ever want their party to be elected then they will need some of the people who previously voted Tory to instead vote Labour. I don’t know about you, but if someone labels me ‘scum’ I will probably not vote for their party, however virtuous their policies.
Across any issue, what is most frustrating about the people who always shame rather than explain is that they actually hurt the cause they supposedly support. They appear to be more concerned with getting a Facebook like from someone who already agrees with them than actually bringing people round to their cause. They are ‘slacktivists’.
And this brings us back to the issue when many reasonable people are too scared to publicly engage with the issue of creating real equality for trans people. It leaves the public sphere around the issue to the real transphobes on one side and the people who are more concerned about their social media following than meaningful change.
The vast majority of people are decent people and would be mortified to be labelled hateful or prejudiced. This fear can stop people asking questions about a subject and, when people feel they can’t think for themselves, it makes them prime targets for the far right and populists.
By the same token, the overwhelming majority of trans rights advocates and allies are patient, understanding and articulate. They are passionate about an issue they care deeply about. But as is so often the case in the social media age, we let the loudest idiot guide the conversation.
The data stacks up a lot of this. A recent YouGov poll showed that when it comes to conversion therapy based on gender, fewer people support the ban in Wales than England or Scotland. However, the amount of people who oppose the ban is actually the same. This is because there are far more people who simply answer ‘don’t know’ than oppose it.
It would be easy (and lazy) to label the people who answered ‘don’t know’ as transphobes – after all they didn’t say they support the ban.
However, these people are not bigots. They are people who literally don’t know. To bring them round to a point of view where they are more supportive of trans rights, you need to speak and explain, not name and shame.
