Sometimes you get to the end of a relationship and realise you never really knew the person at all. In the dying days of the “Special Relationship”, I feel that way about America. On an interpersonal level, I do not understand its people. I will never be able to comprehend the depths of their capacity for earnestness.
This was cemented for me in a few ways this week. Most recently, the toe curling video Anne Hathaway posted of herself singing some Arsenal anthem as if it were a song on Les Miserables. She pauses to describe Declan Rice as “man of the game” before bursting back into song.
Hating on Anne Hathaway is a bit obvious – she’s clearly just a slightly dorky theatre kid who made it big. But her ability to film and then post that video without embarrassment is very American.
Then there was the first episode of Meghan Markle’s new podcast, Confessions of a Female Founder. It was an interview with Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of dating app Bumble. It was full of such revelations as Whitney telling Meghan: “I do think your story is just you. Like it’s just an embodiment of you,” and Meghan telling Whitney: “I think it’s amazing how evolved you are”.
One of them would say a completely unintelligible thing, and the other would respond, “I think that’s beautiful”. The podcast finishes with the two of them saying how proud they are of each other and how much they “appreciate” one another. This kind of gratitude speak is making its way across the pond at an alarming rate.
Anne Hathaway is a reminder that Americans and Brits will never truly understand each other.
Our language has been sown with Americanisms for years. Some of the most pernicious include “I hear you”, “gotten” and “let’s touch base”. My parents hate when you ask someone how they are, and they say “I’m good”. Even worse is when Americans say “you’re good” if, for example, you’re trying to squeeze past one on a crowded train and say “sorry”.
Obviously the correct response is for them to say sorry back. Old fashioned types don’t like that we now all say “Can I get…” when ordering food instead of “I’ll have”, but the Yanks are onto a whole new construction: “I’m gonna do the arugula salad,” they say. What horrible things are they going to do to it?
The Trump administration has little regard for us. Last month JD Vance described the UK as “a random country that hasn't fought a war in 30 years”. Anyone who thinks we got a good rate on the tariffs (the 10 per cent baseline, compared with 20 per cent for EU countries) would do well to remember that we’re in the same boat as over a hundred other countries with no famous special relationship, including Afghanistan.
Keir Starmer’s sucking up has got us as good a deal as the Taliban, then. Why shouldn’t we break up with them? Consider the American export. We don’t want their horrid food (snacks full of high fructose corn syrup, chocolate that tastes like it’s been regurgitated by a small child, mutant chickens pumped full of estrogen until their breasts rival Katie Price, eggs with salmonella). What’s in it for us?
There are some things I love about Americans. Despite their terrifying sincerity, they have an openness which is very nice. I was in Austin last month, and I met more new people in a week than months in London. The “British” accent obviously helped, but it’s not weird to strike up conversation with strangers in the US, which means many more spontaneous, serendipitous things happen. I suppose I do also respect their work ethic, just not the dire corporate jargon that comes with it.
Nevertheless, Anne Hathaway is a reminder that Americans and Brits will never truly understand each other. And what better excuse than Trump’s reckless isolationism to call time on the Special Relationship.
Claudia Cockerell is a culture and lifestyle writer
