England take the series 3-0
In truth they weren’t really challenged by an underperforming Dutch side but they will take plenty of heart from how clinical they were this past week. Newbies such as Phil Salt, Brydon Carse and David Payne have given good accounts of themselves too.
There is one slight fly in the gazpacho - Eoin Morgan can’t buy a run and sat out today’s match with injury, the players back him wholeheartedly but the rumours and what-ifs will continue to swirl whilst he isn’t contributing with the bat.
That’s me done for the day, I’ve got time to kill before me haircut now too - thanks Jos and Jason! And thanks for the emails and tweets, I’ll be back to OBO the Headingley Test, do join us for that.
Until then, goodbye!
Updated
Player of the Match goes to Jason Roy: “Very chuffed to finish on a high, and send our fans home with a smile on their faces. We’ve always prided ourselves on our standards, the bowlers were great.
The new boys look like they’ve played 50 games, the future’s bright. The fans have been unbelievable, we should make a habit of coming here...”
Player of the series goes to stand in skipper Jos Buttler: I’m in good form but it is important to keep going and not get too giddy with it. There’s a lot of cricket coming up in a short space of time and its nice to see more guys standing up on this trip.”
Netherlands skipper Scott Edwards: “We took some good learnings from the series, the boys will be better for it. Credit to England they bowled really well after that 30th over and tied us down.”
It’s England’s cup: pic.twitter.com/XFGVsmjSCh
— Matt Roller (@mroller98) June 22, 2022
Blimey.
Huge!#NEDvENG pic.twitter.com/kC1mIl7m02
— Wisden (@WisdenCricket) June 22, 2022
England win in style!
By 8 wickets and with 119 balls remaining! Emphatic from Buttler who plays one of those incredible wristy flicks off Tim Pringle that soars high over long-on for SIX! Buttler and Roy embrace, all smiles in Amstelveen.
30th over: England 242-2 (Roy 101, Buttler 80) Roy has to go some to bring up his hundred before Buttler finishes this match... he duly plays three flashing drives to get him the required runs! 4, 4 and 4 down the ground to go to his tenth ODI hundred, that also draws him level with the man at the other end. He missed out on the run fest in the first game but has cashed in here.
Updated
29th over: England 226-2 (Roy 88, Buttler 78) WOW. What an over. Brutal hitting from Buttler, in more ways than one. He sends van Meekeren deep into the stands with a wristy flick. A flat bat to cow corner brings four more before a SEVEN! Yep, you read that right - the ball gets stuck in van Meekeren’s hand and bounces twice, Buttler waiting patiently for the ball to sit up and smearing it long and far into the crowd. He then blasts the FREE HIT down the ground for SIX. Yikes. 26 runs off the over.
28th over: England 200-2 (Roy 88, Buttler 53) Roy bunts de Leede away over long on to bring up the two hundred for England. He needs twelve more for a tenth ODI hundred.
27th over: England 194-2 (Roy 83, Buttler 52) Just a couple off van Meekeren. On we go.
26th over: England 192-2 (Roy 82, Buttler 51) DROP! Leading edge from Roy and Klaassen spills the return grab. The PA plays Lovely Day by Bill Withers. Cruel world.
The thing with Jos Buttler is, you look up, and he's already on a million
— Cameron Ponsonby (@cameronponsonby) June 22, 2022
25th over: England 183-2 (Roy 74, Buttler 48) FIFTY for Buttler as he pulls van Meekeren away powerfully for a couple. 44 balls, positively pedestrian by his standards. Just 62 more needed now.
@Jimbo_Cricket The 6ixty indeed. You're dreaming of gorgonzola when it's clearly brie time: https://t.co/glakmpw07C
— Rob Dodd (@KilgoreJnr) June 22, 2022
24th over: England 180-2 (Roy 74, Buttler 48) Klaassen bowls to Buttler, it’s noted that these two are teammates for Manchester Originals. Buttler is restrained and works Fred for singles. Seven runs picked up easily from the over.
Spotted in the crowd in Amstelveen - @timkeyperson! 👋
— Test Match Special (@bbctms) June 22, 2022
📲 Live text updates on the @BBCSport website and app
📲 Follow: https://t.co/SDax4SfOBi#BBCCricket #NEDvENG pic.twitter.com/ph3048qRvr
This guy can’t get enough of the cricket atm.
23rd over: England 173-2 (Roy 70, Buttler 46) That’s more like it... ten off the over as Roy bookends the over with boundaries, the first a deft sweep and the second a slog for a one bounce four. Poor Pringle.
22nd over: England 163-2 (Roy 61, Buttler 45) Klaassen returns to the fold and this pair seem content to rotate strike as proceedings take a slight lull. C’mon lads I’ve got to be beautified in a bit, I’m relying on you to get this done quickly!
21st over: England 160-2 (Roy 60, Buttler 44) Pringle does well to restrict this pair to just five singles off the over.
the day will come https://t.co/jkUnoEsxdu https://t.co/BIH3co17Y6
— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) June 22, 2022
WHERE WILL IT END?
20th over: England 155-2 (Roy 57, Buttler 42) 90 off 180 needed for England. Tim ‘Normaaaan’ Pringle is coming back into the attack. Don’t envy him having to bowl at Roy and Buttler in this form. ‘Character building’, as they say.
19th over: England 152-2 (Roy 55, Buttler 41) Buttler sorts Dutt out for a six and a four after Roy tickles one through the keeper for four which has to go down as a drop. England motoring.
18th over: England 136-2 (Roy 50, Buttler 30) Just a couple off van Beek but one of them sees Jason Roy go to FIFTY in 47 balls. His second of the series, he’ll be eyeing a ton here fo’sho.
Rash coaching the Netherlands spinners 🥰
— England Cricket (@englandcricket) June 22, 2022
Watch LIVE: https://t.co/AvaHEb1xt1
🇳🇱 #NEDvENG 🏴 pic.twitter.com/tz0EsRqXmO
Nice one Adil Rashid.
17th over: England 134-2 (Roy 49, Buttler 29) A dismissive flat bat shot for four by Buttler off spinner Aryan Dutt sees the umpires call for drinks.
England need 111 from 33 overs. Time for a quick slurp.
16th over: England 126-2 (Roy 49, Buttler 23) Buttler crunches another drive for four, he’s just starting to move through the gears. Beware in the stands.
David Harris is all about 1984:
“Regarding establishing your musical bent, for me it was 1984, the year that saw The Works (Queen), Grace Under Pressure (Rush), Fugazi (Marillion) and Powerslave (Iron Maiden). Other bands have come and gone, but those four have remained my staples to this day, and Rush aside, since Neil Peart’s sad passing, I still try to get to see them when I can, 9 years living in SE Asia notwithstanding.”
15th over: England 118-2 (Roy 46, Buttler 18) Pringle, who I’ve worked out reminds me of Curly Watts from Coronation Street AND Norman from Fireman Sam... is dabbed away for four by Captain Jos.
14th over: England 111-2 (Roy 45, Buttler 12) Buttler gets into his stride by smiting a couple of drives away to the fence.
Anyone been watching these?
Vince - first touch as silky as you'd think... https://t.co/3mnO3lC8ZM
— Jon Hotten (@theoldbatsman) June 22, 2022
13th over: England 101-2 (Roy 44, Buttler 3) Roy powers a sweep away off Pringle for four after trying in vain to connect with some funky reverse stuff.
England need 144 from 37 overs. Reckon they’ll be ok.
12th over: England 95-2 (Roy 39, Buttler 2) A slip comes in for Buttler and Dominic Cork on comms is very much in favour. He’s ticking at the lack of a plan from the Dutch at the start fo the innings when they seemed to just want to bang it in short. Both wickets fell to pitched up deliveries that deviated a little so he has a point.
11th over: England 92-2 (Roy 37, Buttler 1) Roy glides Pringle away fine for four and then milks a few singles as things calm down slightly after the double whammy from van Meekeren.
“Hi Jim, welcome back”
Thanks John Foster, good to be back on the OBO tools.
“All this chat reminds me of a quotation from a (probably no longer acceptable) novel: ‘Whatever happens to a boy [sic] in the summer when he’s fourteen will shape him for the rest of his life’. For me it was Nirvana, Sonic Youth, and a succession of abject England cricket performances. Might not be the best, might not be the norm, but that’s what sticks - for you, at that time.
In language teaching, they talk of a phenomenon called ‘fossilisation’, which means a recurring, deeply embedded, linguistic error that’s been so obscured by an overall communicative competence that it can’t be fixed and doesn’t really matter. Aren’t all our music/cricketing preferences/prejudices essentially fossilised from about that age? We’re all fossils but it’s nice when somebody chips away at the rock.
Cheers!”
That is great John, and definitely strikes a chord. I’m off to see The Strokes with my old school pals in a few weeks. Talk about fossils...
“When we was young, oh man, did we have fun
Always
Always”
Updated
WICKET! Malan b van Meekeren 0 (England 85-2)
Two in the over! Malan shuffles over to off stump and misses a straight ball to fall for a two ball duck!
10th over: England 85-2 (Roy 31, Buttler)
WICKET! Salt b van Meekeren 49 (England 85-1)
Salt struck nine boundaries and looked set for a big one but he misses one that nips back and tickles the bails top depart one shy of a fifty. Dawid Malan is the new man.
Updated
9th over: England 81-0 (Roy 31, Salt 45) Tim Pringle comes on for some PowerPlay spin. A mis-field sees Salt pick up another boundary. Gah! Cooper the guilty man.
Richard Hirst emails in:
“Hi James Whilst I agree with James Starbuck about the favoured era being the one where your team did best as far as football is concerned, I don’t regard cricket in the same way. I’m much more prepared to recognise the greatness of other teams, so I would say mid to late seventies, where Lillee and Thomson overlapped with the greatest of all (West Indian) teams. But then even I’m not old enough to have seen Bradman and the Invincibles.”
8th over: England 72-0 (Roy 29, Salt 38) Change of bowling but largely same result... Paul van Meekeren is crunched away on the pull by both Roy and Salt and 12 runs are plundered from the over.
7th over: England 60-0 (Roy 22, Salt 34) The weather is fine but it continues to rain boundaries. The Netherlands are bowling too short and these two openers do not miss out on a chance to cash in. Klaassen is bowling with good pace and he hurries Roy up a couple of times but it’s all too rag tag to build any pressure. After seven overs the home side were 20-1. England cruising at 60-0.
6th over: England 51-0 (Roy 18, Salt 30) Salt picks up FOUR boundaries off Van Beek, playing through the line and crunching a couple of short balls away into the leg side. All too easy for England.
5th over: England 33-0 (Roy 18, Salt 12) Salt ‘n’ Roy show a good understanding by scampering a tight two. Roy is then beaten slightly for pace by a Klaassen effort ball, he plinks a pull into the air but it falls between fielders. Estelle’s American Boy blasts out around the ground at Amstelveen, apropos of not much.
4th over: England 27-0 (Roy 16, Salt 9) Van Beek bangs one in short and Salt top edges a pull over the keeper for a one bounce four.
3rd over: England 22-0 (Roy 16, Salt 4) Roy is at his frisky best here, guiding a late cut off Klaassen for four and then punching him through the covers for two.
John Starbuck has a theory:
“James, the best age for following cricket coincides with the best play of your team. We who suffered England’s doldrums will always compare it with the best of the past, which is another country. They not only do things differently there, they did them better.”
As a child of the 90s I might dare to disagree John - I still look back v fondly on that era despite a, shall we say, topsy-turvy side. Can’t help but feel some of it is the innocence of youth at play.
2nd over: England 14-0 (Roy 10, Salt 4) Salt scythes Van Beek away for a three into the covers, the Dutch are going with no slip and packing the covers but Roy manages to thread the ball between them with a back foot punch for the first boundary of the England chase. The Surrey’mun then wristily flicks a straight ball through mid-wicket for another four before pinching a single off the last.
(This run rate boding well for my ear lowering later on)
1st over: England 2-0 (Roy 1, Salt 1) Blue skies and sun greet the customary trilling of Jersualem. Left handed Klaassen starts tidily with just two singles taken from the over, including an 87mph short ball for good measure.
The l’orange hued Dutch are circling on the boundary edge signifying we’ll be back underway soon. Jason Roy and Phil Salt circle their arms ominously. England need 245 runs to win, Fred Klaassen has the ball PLAY!
Thanks Daniel, lovely stuff as per and hello OBO.
So... what do we reckon? England to make short shrift of this chase? I’ve confidently booked a haircut at 6pm to get my mop hacked off, just to add in a bit of jeopardy.
Nick Lewis is talking tunes whilst we have a short break between innings:
“I’ve always said the best period for music was late 70s / early 80s. Yes, yes, yes, I was in my mid-teens but it matters not, I’m right. We had the post punk survivors, Clash, Jam, PIL etc, the new wave mavericks; Joe Jackson, Elvis Costello, Nick Lowe, the 2-tone bands; Madness, Specials, Selecter, The Beat, the great pub-rockers; Squeeze, Dr Feelgood. Early Dire Straits. And the great Soul divas did their best stuff around then. Roberta Flack, Randy Crawford. The Pointers. The Police were still great. I haven’t even mentioned Rocky Sharp and the Replays. I mean, come on...”
I think mid-teens is the best age for being a music fan right? Everything feels so visceral and important and real life is yet to intervene.
Begs the question - what’s the best age for following cricket? Teens again? Or with the benefit of a few (or a lot of) years of experience?
That, then, is me; James Wallace will be along presently to coax you through England’s innings. Otherwise, thanks all for your company and comments; ta-ra.
More of the same really. Netherlands lacked faith in their batting - with good reason, it must be said – so didn’t push on in in powerplay or middle overs. Then, when they tried to get it moving at the end, they lost wickets, so here we are. We must, though, credit Bas de Leede and Scott Edwards, who batted nicely, and David Willey, David Payne and Brydon Carse, who bowled well.
WICKET! Van Meekeren b Willey 0 (Netherlands 244 all out); England need 245 to win the series 3-0!
Four for Willey! He slants one across Van Meekeren who tries to smear him over the stand at midwicket but instead does likewise to the o2 around him as the death rattle sounds behind him. That’s the last seven wickets lost for just 40 runs.
Updated
49th over: Netherlands 243-9 (Klaassen 2, Van Meekeren 2) Klaassen drives to long on for one, then the nice, big man gets away with a drive for two to point.
WICKET! Edwards c Roy b Payne 64 (Netherlands 240-9)
You love to see it! A slower ball foxes Edwards, who’s through his shot early, spooning a dolly towards Roy. Payne has been here before, but this time his mate helps him out and that’s the end of another fine Edwards innings, giving Payne his first England wicket. What a feeling that must be!
49th over: Netherlands 237-7 (Edwards 64, Klaaseen 1) A leg bye then a wide then a single to start Payne’s final over of an impressive debut....
WICKET! Dutt b Willey 0 (Netherlands 237-8)
This is a lovely delivery, a little bit of reverse-tail back in cramping Dutt who tries to flick into the on side but gets nowhere near.
48th over: Netherlands 237-7 (Edwards 64, Dutt 0) Edwards takes one to midwicket, a leg bye gets him back on strike and and another turn to midwicket gives Dutt one ball to survive.
“My parents grew up with music-hall and sang along gladly,” emails John Starbuck, “then jazz turned up for the revolutionary young ‘uns. I. was born in the 1940s, so I got to hear the whole development of rock ‘n’ roll. The 1960s were the best, but then everyone’s generation values the music of their teenage years, when they heard it first. There were also plenty of occasions when people complained about how samey it was getting, popstars selling out, trying to become all-round entertainers etc. So it goes.”
It does indeed. I’m not having that guitar music has been much use since the 90s, whcih is obviously because I was a teenager then, but also find me a band now even as good as Supergrass or the Super Furries, never mind Radiohead, REM, Guns n’ Roses or whoever.
Updated
47th over: Netherlands 233-7 (Edwards 62, Dutt 0) England’s death-bowling has been good today. Whether the same deliveries would work against better batters, who knows, but Payne and Willey have been impressive.
WICKET! Pringle run out (Malan/Payne) 6 (Netherlands 233-7)
Pringle squirts a half-batter into the off side and when Edwards sprints towards to the striker’s end for a single that’s never there, he sacrifices himself for his captain and team.
47th over: Netherlands 233-6 (Edwards 61, Pringle 6) Scott Edwards is now the leading run-maker in the series, yet to be dismissed by a bowler – not bad. Meantime, Payne takes pace off the ball, so he has to really force two to deep midwicket. A wide follows, then two more to third man and a single into the on side.
Updated
46th over: Netherlands 227-6 (Edwards 56, Pringle 6) More singles – where were these in the middle overs? – then Pringle pushes wide of mid on and they run three prior to a sprinted single. But check out Willey’s fielding; he scurries after a half-batted nudge, slides to stop it, turns and shies in one movement ... only to miss by fractions. Had he hit, Edwards was gawn.
“This is a bit long winded and badly formatted, but hey I work in IT,” begins Will Cook. “Back in 2013 my friends and I went over to see Sussex play The Netherlands in Rotterdam, we stayed in Amsterdam and got the train to Rotterdam and tram to Schiedam. Just as we got off the tram the heavens opened. We got into the ground to see Netherland had been 28-2 when the rain came. Spying the bar was open and that there was an empty football bench on the edge of the out field we filled up with beer and rushed over. After about 30 minutes a middle-aged lady turned up and asked if she could shelter with us, it transpired that she was English and married to a Dutchman. Her twin boys bought up in England and Netherlands where both cricketers. One had played for the national side previously and the other was making his debut today. Around two hours (and many jugs of Amstel) later one of her sons ran over to say he thinks its going to be called off, 15 minutes later her other son runs over to confirm it was rained off (the puddles on the outfield had got so deep ducks had started swimming on it). We said good bye to them both and started to trudge back to the tram station.
About halfway along the road a car passed, screeched to a halt and reversed towards us, a guy in Orange shouted out of the driver’s window “You going to the tram stop? Jump in I’ll give you a lift”. Drunk and wet we all jumped, as we neared the tram stop the driver asked
‘Where are you boys getting the tram to?’
‘The station.’
‘Okay, I’ll drop you there.’
Not believing our luck we started talking, I was sat behind the driver so thinking it could only be one of the twins I asked “What’s it like playing with your brother?” to which the driver replied “My brother doesn’t play cricket”. The driver was a third Dutch player, Paul van Meekeren, who we hadn’t even spoken to who stopped to pick us up. As we neared the Motorway he asked:
‘Are you going to Amsterdam?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay, I’ll drop you there by my favourite bar near the Olympic Stadium.’
Before we had chance to reply he had turned onto the motorway. We had a lovely chat to him about being an international cricketer for 2nd tier nation about his one full international wicket at the time. He was to embarrassed to tell us who it was so we had to Google and it turned out to be the number one ranked ODI batsman at the time Hashim Amla. If you are going to have only taken one wicket that was who to take. When we reached Amsterdam he parked up and unfurled himself from the car, he towered over my 6ft 2 friend. We kept in touch for a while after and I’ve always followed his career but basically Paul van Meekeren is basically a lovely massive guy. I can also confirm that unsurprisingly the bar was amazing.”
45th over: Netherlands 220-6 (Edwards 53, Pringle 2) Foxed by Rashid’s turn, Pringle gets down, presents the face, and edges just past slip for one to get off the mark. Three more singles follow, while, in comms, they note that Rashid isn’t quite at his best currently – I agree, they’ll be delighted to not learn – and from here, even 250 looks a stretch.
WICKET! Van Beek c Rashid b Willey 0 (Netherlands 216-6)
This is the thing, isn’t it? You go big early, you end up with a small total, you go big late, you end up with a small total. Van Beek looks to whip off his legs, imparts a leading edge instead, and plops into the hands of mid off.
Updated
44th over: Netherlands 216-5 (Edwards 51, Van Beek 0) Willey returns, just what Netherlands need, as the crowd wade deeper into their refreshments.
WICKET! Nidamanuru st Buttler b Rashid 4 (Netherlands 215-5)
Rashid tosses one up and Nidamanuru does exactly what he’s meant to do, stepping down the track only to be beaten by a smidge of turn that allows Buttler to do the rest.
Updated
43rd over: Netherlands 215-4 (Edwards 50, Nidamanuru 4) A single to Nidamanuru, then Edwards bunts to cover and that’s a very well-made fifty – he’s a decent player.
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
Yup, there was an edge.
43rd over: Netherlands 213-4 (Edwards 49, Nidamanuru 3) Rashid begins his ninth over with a goggly that Nidamanuru wears on the back pad. There’s an appeal, rejected ... and England review! There might’ve been an edge – I’m sure that’s why the umpire said no - but if there isn’t, it’s dead.
42nd over: Netherlands 213-4 (Edwards 49, Nidamanuru 3) Edwards runs down for one, then Carse cuts Nidamanuru in half like he’s a magician’s assistant, a bit of reverse hitting thigh and perhaps edge, the ball failing to carry to Buttler. A single follows, then two twos which take Edwards to within one of a fifty, the first paddled to deep square and the second forced to midwicket.
“Everybody seems to be treating this series as a ‘normal’ one but such is the gulf between the two sides there was never a chance that England wouldn’t win every match,” says David Mitchell. “We can talk of respecting an outclassed opponent but what does that mean in reality? I suspect the Dutch batsmen are only too aware of the reality and are merely getting a bit of practice under their belts before the 50 overs are done and their opponents knock off the runs with multiple overs to spare.”
I think they’ve got a plan: wickets in-hand then go at the end, but executing is harder than formulating.
41st over: Netherlands 207-4 (Edwards 44, Nidamanuru 2) Off we go with the final powerplay, but before we start, I should note that despite my whining, De Leede batted well and looks a decent talent. Anyhow, Nidamanru turns his first ball into the leg side for one then three further singles follow, and Payne looks really useful. I’m not sure how he forces his way to more appearances, but he’s got a cap, which is a start.
WICKET! De Leede c Rashid b Carse 56 (Netherlands 203-4)
Again, Carse puts a little extra into leap, again the ball gets big on a batter trying to book, and again, a skier is well held – this time by Rashid, scurrying from midwicket to forward short and holding on the tumble.
40th over: Netherlands 203-3 (De Leede 56, Edwards 42) Come on! Carse is short but not short enough and De Leede snaps his first ball to the rope and deep backward square. A single follows, then a full-bunger, nipple-high, allows Edwards to absolutely cleanse to the long on fence for five and a free hit; again, though, he tries a mow that puts his collar bones in jeopardy and misses everything.
39th over: Netherlands 192-3 (De Leede 51, Edwards 37) Payne returns and the batters do seem to be going for things now. Edwards heaves two across the line and tries more big shots from the over’s four remaining balls, only to miss all of them. That’s really good stuff from Payne, who’s been impressive on debut.
38th over: Netherlands 190-3 (De Leede 51, Edwards 35) Carse returns, so I shall cling to the possibility that Netherlands use his extra pace to get the ball away. In the meantime, Edwards turns him around the corner for one, then a no ball means a free hit ... which Edwards’ misses with a colossal heave, doing well not to dislocate both shoulders in the process. Perhaps the wriggle is on, because a turn for two is followed by an industrial mow, a top-edge zooming up among the cirrus and stratus before dropping to fine leg ... where Malan grasses a pretty straightforward chance! I didn’t expect that from England or from him, and Edwards then sends the final delivery of the over to cover for one.
“Imagine a time when hearing Hey Jude for the first time was just part of the new garden of earthly delights. Imagine one of your first concerts as a 16-year-old being the Stones in Hyde Park; hearing Bob’s ‘Judas’ bootleg album for the first time, when it was still thought to have been recorded at the Royal Albert Hall. Etc etc. As they say, nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”
Richard Hirst wants you to know that he’s older than you, which makes me wonder as to the optimal time to be born. I reckon 1967 is pretty good, as you get some of the 70s, then are a great age for the Smiths and acid house.
37th over: Netherlands 182-3 (De Leede 50, Edwards 29) De Leede drives Rashid to cover for one, and that’s his fifty; he’s batted pretty well in this series, and at 22 has lots of time to improve. But milestone achieved, he really must back himself to do something more destructive, because otherwise what’s the point? Well, OK, scoring your first half-century while enjoying batting, but surely he’s got to do more from here? You may have heard me wonder this before.
36th over: Netherlands 180-3 (De Leede 49, Edwards 28) Curran’s first three balls yield one, then De Leede drives three to cover where Carse fields; singles to each batter follow, and that’s drinks. Let’s be real, Netherlands could do with a livener.
“I enjoyed seeing your Texaco Trophy poster from 1984 earlier,” emails Nick Barlow, “and it reminded me of the signed bat that my dad (who was a physiotherapist) got for me via his mate (who was a physio for the England team) in the same year, and presumably from the same competition. I was ten at the time, and although the bat today has a couple of paint drops from an unremembered but surely ill-advised painting session it is one of my most treasured possessions, both for the memories of my childhood and as a small piece of cricketing history.”
That’s brilliant – I hope Chris Tavaré is on there. On seeing my cards, someone on Twitter wondered whether the personnel had been selected by his mum.
35th over: Netherlands 174-3 (De Leede 45, Edwards 26) Rashid returns at the other end and tosses up his first delivery, but De Leede refuses to hit over the top which puts me in mind of another KP phrase: if it’s up it’s off, which is what he and Flintoff said to each other during their stand at Edgbaston in 2005. But that’s more like it from Edwards, who goes down the ground and crucially commits to the shot, taking four over the bowler’s heed. That’s the first boundary in tiiiiiime, and three singles follow; that’s more like it. Is the sprint on?
34th over: Netherlands 166-3 (De Leede 43, Edwards 19) Curran returns and after a single to each batter, De Leede presses him to cover for two. So Curran digs one in a bit shorter from around and this time De Leede pulls. He doesn’t give it everything, but he does find a gap at deep square, so they run two, then does similar to the next ball for one. This is now his highest international score; can he keep going?
33rd over: Netherlands 159-3 (De Leede 37, Edwards 19) In comms, they note that Netherlands are letting the spinners bowl, a phrase you frequently hear KP spit with disgust. Three singles and a two make it five from the over, and I’m boring myself saying this, but I don’t fully grasp Netherlands’ plan here. If they don’t up the rate, they won’t set a target even close to competitive.
32nd over: Netherlands 154-3 (De Leede 35, Edwards 16) The rate is down to 4.73 as Rashid’s first three balls yield two singles, then Edwards goes back on his stumps to dig out two to midwicket – they’ve got to run them fast because Curran is onto it, and a dive gets him home. A leg-side wide follows, Edwards missing with his effort to go with the line, but they run one too, then De Leede adds one more. Dare the batters swing for the fences?
31st over: Netherlands 147-3 (De Leede 33, Edwards 13) As he did on Sunday the DJ cranks it up, and the crowd, nicely lubricated one trusts, crank it up with him, hollering along to Hey Jude. When my parents first met my dad played his new record to my mum and that was it – imagine hearing that song for the first time and it being unlike anything you’d ever heard, rather than simply part of the canon. Mindblowing, and please do not fill in the absent parentheses. Two singles and a two from the over.
30th over: Netherlands 143-3 (De Leede 32, Edwards 10) Two singles begin this latest Rashid over, on which point is it just me who’d like to see him back in the Test reckoning? Anyhow, De Leede then steps down to him, stroking to deep extra, where Willey does really well to slide into a stop that saves two; a single follows.
29th over: Netherlands 138-3 (De Leede 28, Edwards 9) I guess wickets in hand and a last-10 overs slog makes some sense, but I do wonder if Netherlands are capable of more than we’re seeing, if they could just stop worrying about being skittled. They take five singles off Livingstone’s latest over, Edwards surviving a scare when he top-edges a sweep, but the ball doesn’t reach the man at backward square.
28th over: Netherlands 133-3 (De Leede 25, Edwards 7) I know it’s hard not to, but Netherlands are letting England’s spinners bowl here. At the end of the over, De Leede tries to use his feet, but he can only nudge to mid on for one, adding that to a wide and single taken by Edwards to cover.
27th over: Netherlands 130-3 (De Leede 24, Edwards 6) “240’s not going to cut it,” notes the suddenly retired Pieter Seelaar, and he’s right; can his former charges get beyond it? Well, after De Leede takes a single to long off, Edwards unfurls the reverse, earning three past backward point; two to cover point follow, and that’s a better over for Netherlands, six from it. The same from here gets 268, but as Seelaar says, that won’t be enough either.v
26th over: Netherlands 124-3 (De Leede 21, Edwards 3) Rashid’s not looked as threatening today as in the first two matches – I guess the pitch is deader – and he’s taken for four singles in this, his third over.
25th over: Netherlands 120-3 (De Leede 19, Edwards 1) This is the key partnership now: if England can break it quickly, they’ll fancy themselves to wrap things up pretty quickly. And Livingstone begins with a ripper, turn then bounce too good for Edwards’ outside edge. Two more dots follow, then a single to long off completes an excellent over.
WICKET! O'Dowd c Buttler b Livingstone 50 (Netherlands 119-3)
Fifty and gone! Livingstone finds a bit of extra dip, if we’re being generous, and O’Dowd, reaching to drive, edges behind. He lingers, hoping it’s not true, but it is and he’s now hutchward-bound.
24th over: Netherlands 118-2 (O’Dowd 50, De Leede 18) De Leede drives Rashid to long off for one, then O’Dowd nudges the single that raises his fifty – well batted sir. Another single follows, and England will be happy with how these middle overs are vanishing.
23rd over: Netherlands 115-2 (O’Dowd 49, De Leede 16) O’Down bangs to cover and they run two before getting down the other end with a similar shot; I said De Leede was unensconced, but I’m not saying it now, because he steps down the track to turn a flighted ball into a half-volley, whacking four to deep backward point. A single off the final delivery of the over means he retains the strike, and his team really needed that boundary.
22nd over: Netherlands 107-2 (O’Dowd 46, De Leede 11) Now it’s Rashid into the attack and O’Dowd sends his second ball to cover for one. He brings in a slip for the unensconced De Leede, who duly twizzles him to midwicket for two, and after some decent pre-drinks hitting, Netherlands need to get themselves moving again.
21st over: Netherlands 104-2 (O’Dowd 45, De Leede 9) O’Dowd nudges into the leg side and runs through for the single which raises his team’s hundred. This is a better over from Livingstone, sort of – his next ball goes contacts pad, rears up, and there’s a muted appeal for a catch, but now bat involved. A single down the ground follows, then a leg-side wide ... and a drop? No, though Buttler couldn’t hold on, O’Dowd’s edge was beaten, and another wide com[pletes the scoring for the over.
20th over: Netherlands 99-2 (O’Dowd 44, De Leede 8) Five dots from Carse, but then some width ... and De Leede can’t turn that away, unloading the suitcase to cream four through backward point.
19th over: Netherlands 95-2 (O’Dowd 44, De Leede 4) Time for some spin, but it’s not Moeen or Rashid, it’s Livingstone. His ability to bowl leggies and offies will be invaluable to this team – he looks a lock for both World Cups, or Worlds Cup now – but this isn’t a great start, milked for four singles and a two.
“With Paul Van Meekeren being brought in for the Netherlands and David Payne winning his first cap,” says Dave Walklett, “I was wondering when was the last time two Gloucestershire players faced each other in an international? Perhaps in the days of Jack Russell and Courtney Walsh or Zaheer Abbas but it doesn’t happen often.”
That is a good question – I’d go with the former.
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18th over: Netherlands 88-2 (O’Dowd 42, De Leede 0) Carse is one of those bowlers who you can tell is giving every ball everything, but as he raced in before taking the wicket, you could see a little bit extra in his leap; he got his reward. O’Dowd takes a single to leg, and I should note that his fine partnership with Cooper was worth 62.
WICKET! Cooper c Livingstone b Carse 33 (Netherlands 88-2)
Carse leaps into his delivery stride, bangs it in, and Cooper hooks ... but running around the fence to deep backwards square, Livingstone does really well to avoid losing the ball in the sun and not even trying to catch it, never mind sliding underneath it to make a tricky grab look routine.
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18th over: Netherlands 88-1 (O’Dowd 41, Cooper 33) Nice from Cooper, who eases opens the face to ease Carse to the third man fence.
17th over: Netherlands 84-1 (O’Dowd 41, Cooper 29) Curran clouts O’Dowd on the pad and appeals ... it looked pretty decent too, definitely hitting the stumps but perhaps pitching outside the line ... and it did, just. That’s ridiculously good umpiring from Paul Reiffel and a decent over from Curran too, four dots then two singles taking us to drinks. Netherlands are pretty well-placed now, if they can up the tempo, and how costly might that missed catch turn out to be?
16th over: Netherlands 82-1 (O’Dowd 40, Cooper 28) To stem the flow of runs, England have pulled back their lengths, and Carse begins his third over with three dots. Cooper then takes a single to midwicket, a slower ball drifts down leg for a wide, then O’Dowd forces a run-down for one more.
15th over: Netherlands 79-1 (O’Dowd 39, Cooper 27) This is excellent stuff from Netherlands, and when Curran sits one up outside off, O’Dowd clatters it to the rope at midwicket. Four singles – there we go! – follow, along with a wide from a high bouncer, and I’d not be surprised to see Rashid or Moeen take the next over from this end.
“When I was about 12, growing up in Houston,” says John Foster, “we had an absolute [bleep] of a school football (soccer) coach. Apart from the usual sadism – which can quickly become unusual sadism in 95 degree temperatures – he’d wear really short shorts (it was the 90s, they did things differently then). Anyway, at that age many of us were reluctant to get our body behind any ball above waist height, so instead of chesting it down we’d side-step it and stick a futile, dangly leg out. Whenever this happened in training, he’d run up to the culprit and chant ‘SEXY LEGS! SEXY LEGS!’ while kicking his bare legs into the air, doing a dance that was sort of a cross between the Can-Can and the Arrested Development chicken dance. This would go on for up to two minutes.”
I once forgot my swimming kit, on purpose, told the teacher and he he said he’d given up on me. I returned to the changing room, relayed this along with some choice invective about the teacher, turned around and there he was. He took me outside, puffed out his chest in my face, and blew off my kippa with the ferocity of his shouting, letting me know that he’d love to headbutt me. It turned out the pool was screwed and they played football instead.
14th over: Netherlands 70-1 (O’Dowd 33, Cooper 25) That’s more like it! Cooper stretches for a wide one, driving to deep cover for one, then when Carse tries a bouncer, he goes back and properly collars it for four over midwicket! An inside-edge then gets him down the other end – more of this, please – before Cooper pulls off the hips for four more, raising the 50 partnership in the process! Ten off the over, and Netherlands needed that.
13th over: Netherlands 60-1 (O’Dowd 28, Cooper 20) I know I’ve been on about Netherlands playing big shots, but they also need to find release shots that keep the scoreboard moving when boundaries are elusive. Again, a tight over yields just two, O’Dowd gloving through gully, then Copper turning away; that’s not good enough.
12th over: Netherlands 58-1 (O’Dowd 27, Cooper 19) Brydon Carse, who could be a serious factor – in all formats – takes over from Payne. Cooper flicks his first delivery into the leg side for one, then after two dots, O’Dowd tries to force the issue with a pull. It doesn’t work out, but the aggression is welcome, and a gentler shot earns him one more to fine leg.
11th over: Netherlands 56-1 (O’Dowd 26, Cooper 18) S-Cuzz, still feeling his way back after injury, is into the attack, and O’Dowd turns his loosener off his pads for four! A single comes next, then a bouncer gets up so high Buttler can’t hold it one-handed above his head; two wides. Two singles and two dots complete the over, the rate now up from below three to above five.
10th over: Netherlands 47-1 (O’Dowd 20, Cooper 17) The batters are enjoying theirselves now, O’Dowd lofting two over mid-off then stepping onto the front foot to force four through midwicket! He didn’t middle that, but the conviction in the stroke did him well enough; a leg bye follows, then an inside-edge down the ground for two. That’s 23 off the last two overs to finish the powerplay, exactly the kind of thing necessary for a proper contest.
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9th over: Netherlands 38-1 (O’Dowd 15, Cooper 14) Nice from Cooper, stepping into Willey and pressing him on the up for four down to long on. So Willey tries a knuckle-ball for which Cooper waits ... then clumps four to the cover fence! That’s more like it! A single apiece follows, then Willey goes shorter – that’s because of Cooper’s driving – only to be carted around the corner for fo mo! Fourteen off the over!
“My A-level maths teacher,” says Ant Pease, “used to frequently lament that he was once forbidden to use the line on a report card: ‘With infinitely more effort, xxx could become almost mediocre.’ In an undoubtedly wonderful line, it’s the word almost that gets me every time. Top-drawer snark, that.”
8th over: Netherlands 24-1 (O’Dowd 13, Cooper 2) Poor old David Payne. Half an hour ago, he was loving life, now he’s had a dolly missed and a four against his name because, when O’Dowd pokes, Rashid misfields at third man. These are the only runs off the over.
7th over: Netherlands 20-1 (O’Dowd 9, Cooper 2) On his second life, Cooper pushes into the on side for one, then O’Dowd does likewise, and Netherlands really need to find something here.
“Your lines-imposing teacher wasn’t very inventive, I must say,” chides Richard Barker. “My teachers favoured the longer line, to increase punishment time. My favourite was ‘In future I shall not squander my estimable talents on nursery horseplay.’ (100x). Hat-tip to Mr Timothy Sagar please in case he’s a cricket fan (and still alive).
A Mr Robert Harris once imposed a list of ‘twenty-five pentasyllabic words, with definitions’ for some minor infraction. By sheer coincidence (I had resorted to scanning the dictionary) the last one I supplied was ‘interminable - tediously long’ which he graciously took as a metacommentary on the imposition.”
I feel you, but at the same time I enjoyed the to-the-pointness of what I was set – I can’t pretend that whoever set them hadn’t nailed me.
6th over: Netherlands 18-1 (O’Dowd 8, Cooper 1) O’Dowd half-bats through gully for one, then Cooper immediately looks to press on, driving fresh air for four but missing the ball entirely. Then, off the final ball of the over, he looks to pull only to top-edge ... this is going to be out and a debut wicket for David Payne ... no it isn’t! At midwicket, Livingstone loses the ball in the sun and waves it to the ground from a yard away! They run one.
5th over: Netherlands 16-1 (O’Dowd 7, Cooper 0) I guess that’s what can happen when you try to force the pace. Cooper shoulders arms to his first delivery.
WICKET! Singh c Malan b Willey 6 (Netherlands 16-1)
Three out of three! Willey gets Singh again, and with a bouncer for the second straight match. This time, he rushes his man into a pull, the ball goes up, comes down, and at short, wide mid off, Malan hurries in to dive on the catch.
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5th over: Netherlands 16-0 (Singh 6, O’Dowd 7) Willey sends down a wide, then O’Down lashes him over cover for four! That’s a terrific shot, and a shove in the same direction gets him down the other end.
4th over: Netherlands 10-0 (Singh 6, O’Dowd 2) There we go! Singh sees width and flings hands, looking to drive over cover, instead edging over second slip for four. That’s what we need to see from Netherlands – they don’t get to play England often, and don’t want to go home wondering what might’ve happened had they been bolder. Anyhow, a single and a wide follow.
“On the subject of school punishments,” says Chris Fowler, “I had a sports teacher at secondary school who evidently enjoyed giving them. He would announce to the boys getting changed after the sports class that the last boy out of the changing rooms would be given a punishment, which guaranteed him the thrill of screwing up somebody’s free time without the need of any kind of infraction. One day another boy and I were racing to get out before the other, being the last two in the changing room, and he decided to give us both an imposition (the name used in our school, as I remember) rather than wait to see who was last. We both had to write 200 words on Speed. I wrote an essay on Speed (I was 13 or 14, so I probably didn’t even know the word could also mean a drug), and took it to the staff room to give it in. As it turned out, I could have written my 200 words on the amphetamine trade, as he simply looked to check that there were probably 200 words on the paper, and then tore it up. Ritual humiliation of pupils for his enjoyment. Smarting under the injustice of it all, half a century later, me?”
Our PE teacher used to take the hands of the slowest pupils, lead them halfway around the track – a playground in Camden Town – then laugh his arse off as everyone overtook them quicksmart.
3rd over: Netherlands 3-0 (Singh 2, O’Dowd 1) Willey beats Singh’s outside edge, then that same bat-part squirts a single to third man. I’m not sure we’ve seen a single big shot so far, which is testament to some challenging bowling, but also to the batters’ refusal to give it away.
“Is Luke Wood injured,” wonders Paul Speller, “or was his selection purely to deplete Lancashire’s pace bowling resources even further?”
2nd over: Netherlands 2-0 (Singh 1, O’Dowd 1) If I was going to criticise Netherlands, it’d be for their circumspect batting on Sunday. I totally understand why they opted for that approach, but I hope they’ll throw hands today – if not now, in the first powerplay, once they’ve settled into the match. Anyway, here comes Payne, in for his first delivery in international cricket, and he finds swing first up, beating O’Dowd with his second ball and inducing an inside-edge with his third. It’s relatively rare to see someone of his age make a debut, but I find that when it happens, we see cricketers – and, indeed, sportspeople – who properly know their game, so are able to deliver the best version of it. Maiden, and a really good one too.
1st over: Netherlands 2-0 (Singh 1, O’Dowd 1) Singh guides a single to deep point, then O’Dowd plays and misses outside off. But he doesn’t dwell, shoving to Roy at cover then, deceived by a touch of extra bounce, edging to fine leg for another single.
Righto, David Willey has the ball and off we go!
Buttler also spoke about the new practice of players receiving their caps in the huddle, but with their family present. I love it, but I’d be in bits.
Watching the toss as live, we learn that we’re playing on a fresh wicket today, which should be a bit less active. Buttler reckons if there’s owt in it, it’ll be early, while Scott Edwards hopes that spin and slower balls will be useful when England bat.
Also found was the below – so go on then, let’s have the best lines and punishments you were dealt.
The other day my parents finally persuaded me to come round and go through my old gear, and in among all the nonsense, I found this treasure, Say what you like about my old fella – and given he was a teacher, many people did – but when it came to inculcating this thing of ours, he didn’t mess about: I was five in 1984.
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That England batting line-up still looks alright doesn’t it? And that’s before you’ve brought in Bairstow, Root and Stokes. I said this on Sunday, but Rashid aside I’ve still little clue which bowlers constitute the first-choice attack – I guess Archer is a lock when fit, but otherwise.
Our teams!
Netherlands: 1 Vikramjit Singh, 2 Max O’Dowd, 3 Tom Cooper, 4 Bas de Leede, 5 Scott Edwards (capt/wk), 6 Teja Nidamanuru, 7 Logan van Beek, 8 Tim Pringle, 9 Aryan Dutt, 10 Paul van Meekeren, 11 Fred Klaassen.
England: 1 Jason Roy, 2 Phil Salt, 3 Dawid Malan, 4 Jos Buttler (capt/wk), 5 Liam Livingstone, 6 Moeen Ali, 7 Sam Curran, 8 David Willey, 9 Brydon Carse, 10 Adil Rashid, 11 David Payne.
Netherlands also make two changes: Fred Klaassen and Paul van Meekeren replace Shane Snater and Vivian Kingma.
I apologise for the slight delay in bringing you that news: I appear to have somehow gouged my earlobe while sleeping and have been wandering about this morning with the offending body-part caked in blood. I wonder what my fellow parents thought at drop-off; par for the course, most likely.
As well as Payne for Morgan, England bring in Sam Curran for Reece Topley.
England win the toss and will field
After the events of the first match, I daresay that call will be a relief for the home side.
Lovely news: David Payne has received his cap, report Cricinfo – with no batter waiting in the wings, the Gloucestershire left-armer will make his debut in place of Morgan. He’s 31, so must’ve feared his chance had gone, but his captain’s misfortune is his gain. Go well, old mate.
The question with Morgan, though, isn’t so much about today but about tomorrow. This isn’t his groin’s first remonstration and given the punishing schedule over the next few month, you wonder if it’ll need managing - which might lead to managing out. We shall see.
Er, or not. Morgan has a “tight groin”, so Jos Buttler captains
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Preamble
It’d be easy to look at this series, conclude that England are just too good, and move on to the next thing – which happens to be a Test match against New Zealand, starting tomorrow. But there’s more to things than that.
First of all, though the winning margins have been conclusive, despite intense provocations to the contrary, Netherlands have not been shown up so far. In both matches, they’ve batted reasonably well, and had they risked a little bit more a little bit sooner on Sunday, they might just’ve put England under a little bit of pressure.
But they plumped for the conservative so, despite a bowling flurry towards the end, the outcome was never in serious doubt, and that is the challenge for them today: they’ve proved they can play; now, can they compete?
As for England, there oughtn’t be anything to say, but sport being sport and people being people, there’s always something to say and this time it’s about Eoin Morgan. It’s true that his form is poor, and competition for places is such that he can’t simply rely on his authority to keep him in his team – and it really is his team. But it’s also true that few leaders in the history of British Isles sport have earned the leeway he has, and you can bet that his players are best-placed to perform with him guiding then. He could, though, use a score today – another failure, and the fussing rolls on.
Play: 11am local, 10am BST
