Walking around with a 30cm knife made Harley David Wegener feel safe in his "pretty rough" neighbourhood south of Brisbane.
But Wegener, 34, insisted he had no intention of hurting anyone and first discovered Benjamin Suttie had been stabbed in an August 2018 fight after watching the TV news.
Wegener has pleaded not guilty to murder in the Brisbane Supreme Court after Mr Suttie's neck was cut by a "scalpel-like" weapon at Woodridge four years ago.
Mr Suttie, 37, died three days after a major artery was severed in a late night altercation between two groups at Prince Park, the court heard.
Wegener said he often carried around a blade in Woodridge to give him a sense of security.
He received what he described as a 30cm fishing knife as a birthday present from his brother after being bashed and robbed in the area, the court heard.
Wegener insisted that he did not intend to harm anyone with the blade but people were "likely to leave you alone when they see it".
Wegener said he had the knife in his tracksuit pants pocket when his five-strong group - including two children - passed four people in the park late at night four years ago.
A man he now knows was Mr Suttie said hello as he approached but his group didn't respond, Wegener told the court.
Mr Suttie then told them "that's pretty f***ing rude", Wegener said.
After Mr Suttie allegedly made another comment, Wegener asked: "What's your f***ing problem, c***".
Wegener agreed what he said could be seen as a challenge to a fight but claimed he was surprised when Mr Suttie then allegedly punched him in the head.
Wegener said he slipped in the ensuing fist fight, noticing that his knife had fallen out of his pocket before picking it up.
He told the court that he used a hand that was holding the knife on its side with the blade pointing away to push at Mr Suttie in a bid to ward him off and regain his feet.
He pushed into Mr Suttie's chest possibly more than once and thought the blade may have made contact with his shoulder, Wegener said.
"Were you trying to kill him?" defence barrister Joseph Briggs asked.
"No, I didn't even want to hurt him," Wegener replied.
Wegener said after Mr Suttie backed off he helped his brother who was in another scuffle before his group fled.
He told the court he dropped the blade in the park when he picked up one of the children as they left.
It has never been found.
Wegener said he did not recognise Mr Suttie until he saw on the TV news the next night that he was in hospital after a Woodridge stabbing.
"I knew I was in the s*** then," Wegener told the court.
He said he felt "pretty shattered" after learning Mr Suttie had died a few days later on the news and decided to turn himself in.
However, the court heard Wegener first had to fulfil a promise to his girlfriend's children that he buy them costumes for a school project and was arrested coming home with them.
The trial before Justice Melanie Hindman continues.
