A mum has found herself in an awkward situation after she mentioned to another woman that her daughter was having a birthday party - and now has herself an uninvited guest.
Taking to popular parenting forum Mumsnet for some advice, she asked if she should let the woman know that the invite wasn't extended to her children. However she also questioned if the woman was being cheeky for assuming her own daughter was invited.
Mumsnet is a forum website where people can ask questions about parenting, holidays and general life. Others can also vote on whether they think the poster is being unreasonable or not.
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Keep anonymous, she explained: "My DD [dear daughter] is turning eight in August and we've organised a small party for her, telling her she can have six guests from school. It's an activity so fairly pricey per child, hence the numbers. One of the school Mum's asked me if my DD was attending an event that coincides with the date of the party and I foolishly said, no because it's her birthday and she's having a party.
"The Mum instantly said, "oh ok I'll say no to the event then as she (her DD) would much rather go to your party". The kids have literally never played together. Instead of replying, sorry she's not invited I sort of sheepishly murmured something about having to go and headed off.
"I'm now stressed out about this, should I just let the kid come? Or was the Mum being cheeky to just assume her kid was invited? There are lots of smaller parties in the class, so nothing new there.
"For what it's worth she seems like a nice person, although I don't know her particularly well and my DD has never had any negative experiences with the other kid. But still, there's other kids she'd rather invite if there was the option of an extra space and I feel like I've been backed into a corner.
"I'm annoyed with myself but also finding the whole thing a bit stressful and awkward. What would you do?"
The post quickly accumulated over 100 comments, with some saying for her to be polite but honest, while others called the mum 'rude'.
One wrote: "To be honest, I think you were very rude to tell her there was a party when her dd wasn't invited. The normal polite response would have been "no, we aren't able to make it"."
"Because you didn’t say it immediately that it’s only for five children, I would just suck it up and invite the girl. But if you can’t, just send a nice tactical message now," a second suggested.
Another issued a warning: "Mum might have told daughter she is going to a party now and so unless your daughter has a reasonable issue with it, e.g she bullies her, then she should come. You should have said something on the spot, it's too late now."
A fourth piped up: "I would simply say to her next time you see her; ‘please don’t cancel an arrangement because of DD party, we are only having 5 children to the party.’ And leave it at that."
"If you really don’t want the other kid to go you’re going to have to send a nice message saying sorry limited on numbers and DD has already chosen the few who will be there. Would your daughter like to come for a play date instead on another day?", one asked.
Another didn't agree with her style of response: "I only voted YABU [you are being unreasonable] for sheepishly murmuring and leaving. You have to stand up for your dd, who else will if you don't?"
While one thought the woman was looking for an invite: "It honestly sounds like the parent was fishing for an invite and took it upon herself to make you feel like you had no other option but to invite her child."
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