A mum has been branded “totally out of order” after expecting her sister-in-law to pick her daughter up from school everyday.
The mum, who has one daughter and another baby on the way, asked her sister-in-law to pick her child up from school and drop her off at home everyday while she is on maternity leave. Her sister-in-law said the request is “totally out of order”.
Her sister-in-law, also a mum, took to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) forum to seek advice on how to deal with the situation as she feels she is being taken advantage of. The mum explained that she already does a lot for her brother and his wife, but the favour is never returned.
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The woman explained that in September her own son and her brother’s daughter will be starting school, in the same class. She said her sister-in-law is pregnant and will be on maternity leave when this happens.
Her sister-in-law has asked her to pick her daughter up and bring her home everyday, despite being on maternity leave - and when she was told no, she “got all annoyed”. She explained that her sister-in-law became angry that she would have to get up early and that she would need to take the newborn with her on the school run.
The woman already looks after her brother’s daughter each day until he and his wife finish work, but since her sister-in-law will soon be on maternity leave she was looking forward to spending some quality time with her own children.
Taking to Mumsnet, she said: “My youngest son and my brother's daughter, my niece start school in September, they will be in the same class at the same school. My SIL [sister-in-law] is pregnant with her second child.
“She is due in September, today my SIL asked me if I would pick my niece up everyday from school and drop her off at home for the whole time she is on maternity leave, I said no I've got my own and children said she’ll be off anyway.
“She got all annoyed with me and asked how she’s meant to do school pick up when the baby is sleeping or if she’s had a bad night. She shouted at me that she would have to get up at the crack of dawn (school starts at 8.45 and is a five minute walk away) to take niece to school with a newborn and then do the same at 3.30, when will she get a rest.
“My AIBU is - I’m not missing something am I, this is totally out of order millions of mums including myself have done school pick up and drop off with newborns. I'm a firm believer of if you choose to have children you look after them yourself.
“I already have my niece after nursery until my brother and SIL finish work, I don’t want to do it when she’s at home. I want the time she’s on Mat leave to look after my own children. Sorry for the ramble.”
In a follow up post, the woman added: “I’ve already picked my niece up everyday from nursery for the last three years (obviously for free). I know it might sound selfish but I’m looking forward to coming home and just having my own children for one year.
“I’ll be picking my niece up after her Mat leave finishes, and I’ll help out if there’s sickness or whatever but I feel taken advantage of. I babysit and take my niece out all the time, even on weekends and not once have they had my children.”
The post was met with a string of replies from fellow Mumsnet users, keen to offer their opinions on the situation. One person said: “I think I would have offered to split/share pickups. Do you live near each other? Call her back, say you had a quick response, and now it might be a good idea if you can share drop off. Keep the peace. If you feel strongly just offer one day.”
A second wrote: “Well if she hadn’t been so rude I’d say you could offer to do it for the first few weeks and then share it after that. But she should not have demanded and she should not have had a temper tantrum when you said no. She’s burnt her bridges here a bit.”
A third added: “She is being so rude I wouldn't put myself out for her I would say she needs to make other arrangements for after nursery” and a fourth said: “Wow, that's a new kind of lazy!”
Another wrote: “I wouldn't offer a single second of help after her saying that. She is being absolutely ridiculous. It's not rocket science” and a sixth added: “She's chosen to have another child, it's her responsibility. I'd help out occasionally but not every day. I was back on the school run a day or 2 after my 2nd and 3rd were born. They sleep in the car/pram and the tiredness is just something that comes with being a Mum.”
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