A Meath man is set to cycle against suicide after losing two of his best friends.
Nobber native Dudley Farrell will take part in Cycle Against Suicide's Coast to Coast ride from Dublin to Galway for World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10 and 11 of September. He told Dublin Live wants to help spread the message to men of all ages that asking for help is never a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
After battling his own mental health issues for years, in 2012 Dudley lost two of his best friends to suicide which "shook him big time". "One of them was Shane McEntee," he recalled.
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"His daughter is Helen, the Minister for Justice. Shane and myself were best, best friends, as good as brothers. We played football together, we went for a few pints together, we went dancing together, we did everything together.
“Two nights before Shane died, we were in the Chinese, we spent about an hour in it. He lifted his phone up and said ‘this is killing me’.
"Shane was the sort of person to never delegate jobs, he’d actually do them himself, he was that sort of a man. Two days later Shane died by suicide.
"Shane's death shook me big time. I never like to hear anyone said committed suicide because committing is a crime. Suicide is an illness."
Dudley spoke about how he was abused by a priest for five years, and how he kept it a secret for decades after he thought he would never be believed.
He said: “When I was in fourth, fifth, sixth class and first and second year in school, I was abused by the clergy. I held it in for years and years for different reasons, the main one was that I wouldn’t be believed.
"I kept it in, got married, had three lads and I never said anything until about 10 years ago. I’m 65 now.
“The priest was quite manipulative, the first thing he did was make friends with my mother and father. He used to call for me to bring me to football matches, and I'd always be the last to be left home.
"He used to come down to the school to pick altar servers for funerals and he’d always pick me. I'd always say I didn't want to go.
“I used to serve mass and one day he came to the house to say we were great all year and that he’d bring us for a day out. He brought us to Bettystown and drove as far up the beach as possible.
“When I looked in the back mirror, the people were so far away, they were like little dots. He told the other lads to go to the shop and he grabbed me by the arm and told me to stay. He knew exactly what was going to happen.”
The abuse continued when Dudley went to secondary school. “In first year, he came to my mother and father to say he was going to Lourdes and he wanted me to go with him”, Dudley added.
“I said I didn't want to go. The parents said it was a chance of a lifetime. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.
"That time it was a campsite at the back of the grotto. He took me out of the camp and told me if I didn’t cooperate with him that I could find my own f**king way home. It sticks in my mind. I didn’t know where I was.
"I eventually made a statement, I didn’t know if I’d be believed or not. He ended up getting a jail sentence."
Dudley believes the strength of the community around him kept him going through his toughest times - and now he wants to give back however he can.
“I’m so into sport, I think being able to play Gaelic football was my big thing. I believe only for that and I’m lighthearted and a messer, there’s no doubt about it.
"I firmly believe those things saved me from going down the suicide road. I’ve done a lot of comedy on stage as well, I’d have a bit of craic.
“Every person has one person they can talk to. It’s important to go and talk to that person, all they have to do is listen, no judgemental things, just listen. It means everything.
“My two men died by suicide in 2012, and this charity was coming up. It struck a chord with me. Their motto ‘it’s okay not to feel okay’ stayed with me and it’s absolutely okay to ask for help.
"It’s not a race, you talk to the cyclists beside you. The amount of stories that are shared is great.”
The Cycle Against Suicide event is on September 10 and 11 for World Mental Health Day. It will start at Pigeon House Harbour in Dublin to Athlone, then from Athlone to Oranmore. The two day event caters for all cycling abilities. Individuals can join for the full event, part of the event or virtually. You can find out more here.
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