The question “What do you get someone who has it all?” is luckily one we may never have to ask ourselves, given the cost of living crisis and general lack of proximity to billionaires. It is, however, the yearly plight of the Oscars goodie bag team, which is tasked with putting together a selection of gifts to tempt the most glamorous of guests.
So what doyou get someone who has it all? Liposuction, Japanese milk bread and a bit of Australia, apparently.
These all feature in this year’s offering to Oscars attendees, courtesy of Distinctive Assets, who are not affiliated with the Academy but provide gift bags for the acting and directing nominees.
As well as the lipo and plot of Australian land (the size and location of which are unknown), guests have a chance of digging into their bag and finding hand-harvested organic dates, a free hair restoration consultation or a three-night stay for eight people on a volcanic Italian island.
There are 60 products in total, with a general focus on “luxury wellness promotion.” This theme can be seen in gifts like the NaturGeeks Immunity Booster shots, C60 Purple Power’s “Sexy” massage oil and a high-tech meditation orb.
Altogether, the gift bags cost a $126,000 each — so roughly £106,000. And just to make things even more Black Mirror, guests are also gifted a free facelift with celebrity surgeon Dr Konstantin Vasyukevich and a box of chocolates that has a video message embedded into the box. Creepy!
As well as the gift boxes, stars will also have a selection of British food to nibble at the after party, in a menu conceived by 45 Park Lane chef Elliot Grover. It includes teeny tiny portions of fish and chips fried in beef dripping (”It’s only a four-biter,” Grover told Vice), a chicken pie with black truffle shavings and a little fancy trifle with a morello cherry on top.
And if anyone’s feeling too full after all that, they have guaranteed lipo in their gift bag. Phew.
