Revelations about disturbing messages sent by students at an elite Sydney school have reignited debate about parents' responsibility for their teenagers' online behaviour.
Knox Grammar School, on the city's north shore, informed parents that some students had been counselled, suspended or were "leaving the school" over the "unacceptable" posts on messaging service Discord, which had been referred to the police.
"The boys posted inappropriate images and engaged in offensive commentary in a private online chatroom," said a letter to parents, signed by headmaster Scott James.
"The actions of these boys do not reflect a Knox education or the expectations that we place on our students to be respectful and responsible citizens in the community."
The incident has prompted some cyber safety experts to urge parents to monitor and limit their children's online activities, but others say that can do more harm than good.
So, should parents be aware of what their children are doing on their devices, and what can they do about it?
Are parents responsible?
Susan McLean is a former police officer and cyber safety expert who consults schools about online behaviour.
Ms McLean told ABC Radio Sydney a parent should be an "active participant in their child's online world".
"As much as parents have a responsibility to keep their children safe online, they also need to make sure that their children are not wreaking havoc on someone else's life," she told Breakfast presenter James Valentine.
Senior lecturer in digital cultures at the University of Sydney Justine Humphry said the responsibility was shared between a range of parties, including the social media platform, parents and users.
She said it was important children and parents understood what to do if they saw inappropriate posts and that they were able to report them to the platform or the e-Safety Commissioner.
Should phones be banned in the bedroom?
Ms McLean said children were unlikely to participate in inappropriate online chats in common spaces.
"These sort of chats, I would like to think, are not happening at the kitchen table with Mum and Dad sitting either side — they will be happening in bedrooms and bathrooms," she said.
Ms McLean said devices should not be allowed in bedrooms or other rooms where they could not be supervised.
"If you're going to give your child access to a digital device, with that comes a responsibility at your end as the parent," she said.
Ms McLean urged parents to monitor device use and set boundaries due to the fact that young people "do make poor choices and they need guidance".
Dr Humphry, who is researching emerging online safety issues and developing educational tools for young people, warns against knee-jerk reactions to the Knox Grammar incident.
"By and large, young people are not necessarily behaving or engaging in sharing that kind of content," Dr Humphry said, and suggested parents instead could use the issue to start a conversation.
"This is really a potential opportunity to try and understand what the challenges are for young people and to try and find that balance so that they still have access to the kinds of technologies that allow them to participate in their social world, which is really important for them, but at the same time can do so safely, and without harming themselves or others."
How do you keep up with new platforms like Discord?
Not understanding the technology is no excuse, according to Ms McLean.
"We've had the internet in its current form for over 20 years," she said.
"Part of being a parent in the 21st century is being able to parent wherever your child is, and that includes the digital space."
The Knox students used the instant messaging service Discord, which, originally, was predominantly used by gamers but surged in popularity during COVID.
It supports group chats, topic-based channels and voice and video calls. In Australia, you have to be at least 13 years old to access it.
Dr Humphry said Discord was one of the most popular platforms, alongside Snapchat, among the young people she'd spoken to during her research because it was flexible and efficient.
"We've certainly found over COVID that a lot of the young people that we interviewed started using Discord to stay in touch with their friends when they weren't seeing them face-to-face," she said.
What else can parents do?
There is a range of strategies parents can use to ensure young people are safe online, Dr Humphry said.
"There are social policies and contracts that can be negotiated with young people through conversations," she said.
"Often young people do want to have set boundaries on their own use of technology, and are very sensitive to the fact that it can be great in some situations, and not great in others."
She suggests parents make themselves aware of social media platforms' policies on dealing with offensive content and reporting mechanisms.
Dr Humphry says parents talking to their children is a good starting point.
"Young people are very savvy usually, with the range of blocking or reporting buttons or tools that are available on social media platforms," she said.
Mentoring from older teenagers who can pass on what they've learned to younger teenagers who are newer to social media can also be beneficial.
"We've found in our research, and I've been really reassured about this, that young people learn strategies relatively quickly on how to protect themselves and feel safe on social media," Dr Humphry said.
