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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Matthew Weaver

Jeremy Paxman: memorable lines from a master of the scathing put-down

Jeremy Paxman, who hosts his last University Challenge show on Monday, became known for his scathing put-downs and shows of incredulity at wrong answers.

Here are some of Paxman’s most disparaging comments to contestants:

‘Soundly trounced’

In 1999 Boris Johnson, then editor of the Spectator and Telegraph columnist, appeared as captain of a broadsheet journalists team when it lost to a tabloid team.

When the future prime minister punched the air after getting a question right, Paxman said: “I don’t know why you were gesticulating – you were very soundly trounced, I thought.”

‘Completely useless’

A fumbled answer from a Cambridge student was dismissed by Paxman as: “I’m afraid that is a completely useless answer.”

‘Smart arses’

Paxman was amazed that a Trinity College student correctly answered Margaret Thatcher before he finished the question. He then said: “OK, let’s see if you can get these bonuses right. They’re on French land borders, you smart arses.” When the team failed to answer one of the bonuses he said: “Not all so easy, are they?”

‘Everybody knows that’

Question: “What Charles Dickens novel featuring the following locations: Bleeding Heart Yard, the Circumlocution Office, Venice and the Marshalsea?”

Glasgow University: “David Copperfield.”

Paxman: “No, it’s Little Dorrit. Everybody knows that”

‘Out by 600 or 700 years or so’

Question: “‘The liberties of England and the Protestant religion I will maintain,’ which royal figure made that claim?”

University College London: “William I”

Paxman: “No. That’s the wrong answer. You know it’s very wrong. It’s out by about 600 or 700 years or so. It’s William of Orange of course, William III.”

‘One of the funniest misapprehensions ever’

Question: “Timothy Dalton, Orson Welles, Toby Stephens and Michael Fassbender are among the actors who have played which romantic figure, the creation of Charlotte Brontë.”

Imperial College: “Inspector Clouseau.”

Paxman: “I don’t know how you got that. That is completely wrong. It is Mr Rochester. That’s one of the funniest misapprehensions we’ve ever had on this show.”

‘People of ignorance’

Question: “A French word meaning ‘cooked’ that appears in an expression corresponding to the English ‘well done’ when describing a steak.”

King’s College London did not know and responded: “Unfortunately we are people of taste.”

Paxman: “You are people of ignorance too.”

‘He wasn’t that old’

Question: “Which British actor was appointed manager of London’s Haymarket theatre in 1887? He also helped fund the nearby Her Majesty’s theatre and founded Rada in 1904.”

Balliol, Oxford: “Laurence Olivier.”

Paxman: “Laurence Olivier? He wasn’t that old.”

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