Inheritances can complicate family relationships, especially when the estate isn’t divided equally between the inheritors. Although it’s more common to inherit from parents, 14% of Americans inherited from a grandparent. That leaves the generation in between to deal with the possible fallout of a perceived unfair inheritance.
Like this parent, who took it upon themselves to right the wrong of a grandfather. After he left his grandson a $70k car and only $4k cash to each other grandkid, the parent’s children decided it wasn’t fair. So, the parent of the lucky kid asked the Internet whether it would be fair if they gifted his college fund away to the son’s sisters and cousins if he didn’t agree to sell the inherited car.
A 17 Y.O. teen inherited a $70k car from his grandfather, and this set off some serious family drama
Image credits: Mr.choppers / wikipedia (not the actual photo)
His parents and aunt felt it was unfair to the other grandkids, so they pressured him to sell it and share the money with his sisters and cousins
Image credits: Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)
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An inheritance does not have to be equal to all members of the family
Image credits: Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)
Money and family really don’t mix well sometimes. It’s hard to leave a will that every single person in the family would be happy with. But does a will mean that the estate should be allotted to all family members equally?
Not necessarily. As one person in the comments observed, “The point of a will is not a fair distribution of assets.” One thing to note here: ‘fair’ doesn’t mean ‘equal.’ What’s fair to one person might seem completely unfair to another.
The reality is that many parents and grandparents choose to leave ‘unequal’ wills. A 2018 survey by Merrill Lynch found that two-thirds of Americans who are 55 or older would leave more assets to a child who provided them care in their later years.
There are different models people follow when writing a will. Some leave everything investment-related to one child, real estate to another, and things like antique jewelry or cars to a third. Relationships also play a part: in this story, the grandpa might’ve just had a better relationship with the grandson than he did with his other grandchildren.
Bogart Wealth writes that some parents/grandparents might feel like they already met the financial obligation to one child/grandkid. Perhaps they funded one’s private school tuition already or one child might have plans to attend an Ivy League school and needs the financial support.
‘Unequal’ wills can lead to long-term resentment in some families
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)
Experts recommend talking with the people to whom the money and assets will be left beforehand. Leaving a bigger sum or an asset that is worth more to one child/grandchild signals to the others that he or she might’ve been the favorite. That only leads to resentment and long-lasting family feuds, so it’s better to address it while all family members are still present.
Certified Financial Therapist and Marriage and Family Therapist Nathan Astle told Bored Panda before how sudden windfalls almost always complicate relationships, be it among family members, romantic partners, or friends.
He says that families get into arguments about things like inheritances because of underlying bitterness. “Inheritances often bring up really big feelings about family dynamics. Even if things were ‘split up evenly,’ I don’t think it would actually fix the underlying resentment that family members are feeling with each other.”
Astle also told Bored Panda that whether or not families choose to share things like inheritance and lottery winnings among themselves depends on cultural differences. “Family and societal cultures handle money differently. Some are more individualistic, where the focus is on the individual’s success, while collectivistic cultures prioritize the group’s well-being.”
“This is not, never was, and never, ever will be your decision to make,” one netizen wrote, echoing the sentiments of many others
However, others agreed with the parent that the will was unfair to the other grandkids
