Bath used to be known for several things – its hot springs, status as a world heritage site and sweeping Royal Crescent – but none of them are worth a damn any more. Because centuries of history have just been overshadowed by something magnificent: yes, Nicolas Cage has turned on the city's Christmas lights.
Cage's turn has put the rest of the country to shame, that's for sure. London had to make do with Jim Carrey. Manchester was forced to slum it with Alexandra Burke. Bristol had to endure Peter Andre. The poor folk of Tetbury in Gloucestershire will have to watch their Christmas lights being switched on next week by someone ignominiously described by a local website as "a former Heartbeat actor", for crying out loud. But Bath? Bath got to enjoy the full-beam dazzle of the unbridled Nicolas Cage experience, and you've got every right to be jealous.
And of course he switched on the lights. Cage loves Bath. He may have named his son after a resident of the planet Krypton, but Bath will always be in his heart. This is made clear both by the properties he owns in the area and, more tellingly, by the dead-on Somerset accent he effortlessly employed during a memorable scene from National Treasure 2: Book Of Secrets.
What's more, during his switching-on speech – between saying "I love you" to the townspeople with slightly too much intensity and shouting "I'm feeling kind of ELECTRIC right now!" – Cage mentioned that Bath was his favourite place to spend Christmas. That might sound a little strange coming from a man who can count a Bavarian castle and an entire Bahamian island in his property portfolio, but answer this – will there be a pantomime starring Gemma Bissix from EastEnders anywhere in Bavaria this year? Does his Bahamian island have a Nandos and a Superdrug within walking distance of each other? Of course not. No wonder Cage loves Bath so much.
Some unkind quarters of the press see Cage's decision to switch on the Christmas lights as further indication of his current financial peril but, in truth, the reason for his attendance is actually quite touching. According to the BBC, a local resident dropped an invitation through his letterbox and he was only too happy to oblige. That's just how the good people of Bath see Cage – he's a man of the people, he's salt of the earth. Admittedly he's not so good around bees or dolls that have somehow become burnt, but other than that he's a stand-up chap and the locals seem to genuinely adore him.
It's impossible to see how this can be topped. Bath, certainly, will never see its like again – last year the lights were turned on by the chairman of Bath and north-east Somerset council, and there's nothing to indicate it'll be any different next year – so maybe this momentous occasion should be marked. Maybe Bathonians should erect a statue of Cage, so nobody ever forgets what happened yesterday. And the statue's head could be constantly on fire, partly in allusion to the Christmas star guiding the three wise men to the manger, and partly because Ghost Rider was awesome. Yes, that would be good.
