As a student in 1989, Alicia went to Washington DC for an internship at the US Senate. “After six months, I extended my trip but I needed a place to stay,” she says. She moved to the International Student House, a hall of residence usually reserved for foreign students. “Although I am American, I managed to get a place. It was a very fun time; I could walk to work during the day and enjoy the nightlife in the evening, as well as communal meals with other students.”
It was at one of these meals that she first met Bart, a medical student from Rotterdam who was working on some research at the National Institute of Mental Health. “I was living with a host family,” he says, “but I had a friend living at the International Student House, so I’d go there to hang out.”
That spring, a group of students, including Bart and Alicia, went on a picnic. “That was where we really connected for the first time,” says Alicia. “I thought Bart was a lot of fun and so free-spirited. We are both really optimistic people.” There was no romantic spark, but they quickly became good friends, hanging out together at the student house. “As I got to know her, I was struck by her unparalleled ability to make other people feel good,” says Bart.
A couple of months later, Bart went to the UK for an internship in Exeter, then another in Seattle, before returning to Europe to continue his medical studies. Alicia went back to university in Indiana to complete her degree in languages and history. “I visited her on the way back to the US and we stayed in touch through writing letters for two years,” says Bart.
Callout
They lost contact when Alicia finished university. “It was hard to stay in touch because we were moving around so much. I went to South Africa, then to Japan in 1992 to teach English, and Bart went to London.”
In 1995, Alicia won a Fulbright scholarship to teach English in Antwerp, Belgium. “I remember talking to my mum, telling her that I didn’t have any friends there and was feeling lonely,” she says. “She told me to just stay positive and it would happen.” It turned out to be good advice. That afternoon, she saw her old friend Bart in the street. “He looked so different; at first I wasn’t sure it was him,” she says. “The last I heard he was in England, and he looked thinner, with no hair.” She decided to walk back past him a second time, just to make sure.
When Bart saw Alicia approach, he was also uncertain as he thought she was still in Japan. “We suddenly realised and we were both so confused, asking each other what was going on.” He told her he was living in Antwerp and working in the Netherlands. “He said we should get together for dinner that night,” says Alicia. “When we met up, we just talked and talked all night. It was as if no time had passed.”
From then on they continued to meet up regularly, as a pair and with Bart’s then-boyfriend. Bart also helped Alicia to find a new apartment. “I needed to decorate it so we went to all these auctions and flea markets together.”
Alicia stayed for two years in Antwerp, before going to Brussels where she met her husband. They married in 1999 and Bart was the videographer at their wedding. Three years later, they moved to California and are now settled in LA where she works as an English lecturer and freelance writer. Bart spent a few years living between the UK, Belgium and the Netherlands, before settling permanently in Amsterdam in 2008. He now lives with his husband, whom he met in 2007, and works as a consultant psychiatrist. “Alicia was a witness at our wedding and gave a speech.” Despite the distance between them, they regularly meet up in Europe and the US. “I visit them in Los Angeles – the weather is always amazing and we go roller-skating down Venice beach,” says Bart. “We both love interior design and architecture, so we always try to go to places to explore that.” He also has a great relationship with Alicia’s daughter, who was born in 2014.
Alicia appreciates her friend’s enthusiasm for life. “He could get excited about a piece of cheese. He has this limitless interest in his environment and what’s around him. He’s also very empathic, he’s a great listener,” she says. “I’ve lost my mother and father since knowing him and he’s always supported me. This friendship is one of the greatest joys in my life.”
Bart admires Alicia’s loyalty and stamina. “If she wants something, she’ll really fight for it,” he says. “She has an infectious laugh and an irresistible smile. I don’t know anyone who lights up a room like she does.”
