A former top flight SPFL footballer has told of his booze battle in a bid to help other ex-pros cope with life after the game.
Sean Higgins went from being a full-time player at Ross County, Dundee, St Johnstone and Falkirk to part-time with Stenhousemuir, Cowdenbeath, Clyde and Albion Rovers.
That was 10 years ago and it is only in the last year the 38-year-old has recognised that’s the point when an unhealthy relationship with alcohol began.
It’s a problem he fears is all too common for professionals at the twilight of their career.
For Higgins it took a turn for the worse when he lost his father, best pal and number one fan, John, in the winter of 2020.
With two massive voids in his life, he turned more and more to alcohol.
After a heart-to-heart with his family, Higgins sought help from mental health charity Back Onside and subsequently kicked the drink.
Now, a full year after he last touched alcohol, Higgins hopes his story will help others to seek the same support.
He said: “When all you know as a full-time professional footballer from the age of 17 is getting up early to go and kick a ball about for work every day .. then that’s an unbelievable life and unbelievable for your mental health too.
“When you don’t have a purpose to wake up for in the morning then it can become really difficult.
“I went part-time in 2013 after Falkirk said they couldn’t offer me a new deal on the same money. I started a university course but I was only there a couple of days and training two evenings with Stenhousemuir.
“I’d be getting up in the morning trying to think what to do that day.
“Every opportunity to have a drink I took. Depression of not being a full-time footballer was starting to set in at that point.
“If you analyse it and strip it all back then you can see a pattern was starting.
“I look back at pictures from that season - I scored twice against Rangers at Ibrox and I can’t believe how heavy I was.
“I was never unprofessional the night before a game or anything like that. But within a few months of going part-time, I wasn’t training every day, stopped going to the gym, was drinking more and eating worse.
“After a game on a Saturday I’d go out and rather than just having a few it was a case of getting ‘balero’.
“It's not that I was drinking every single day, the problem was more about how much I was drinking when I was on it.
"That then has an affect on mental health. The next day you’re rough, snapping at family.
“Before you know it you’re going back to the pub to get a curer. By the time training comes round on the Tuesday you go in and look and feel a bag of s***.”
Things got worse in winter 2020 when Higgins’ dad John passed away after a cancer fight.
Higgins, who works at a residential care home, said: “Anyone who knows me knows my dad was my best pal. He followed me all the way round the country from the age of 17 to support me.
“It’s a void that will never be filled. But I was trying to fill it with alcohol. It was numbing the pain.
“It got to the point I couldn’t sleep at night and I’d be coming in from work and having a glass of wine or three just to fall asleep.
“Then I’d wake up sluggish, crabbit, and not as alert as you should be.
“It was spiralling out of control for a year.
“It got to the point I sat down with my family and admitted I was struggling. That was last February, 14 months on from my dad passing away.
“After opening up to them I just said to myself ‘enough’s enough’.”
Higgins insists the support of his family and mental health charity Back Onside was key to him kicking to booze and getting a grip back on his life.
He knows others in the game are facing the same difficult time in their career.
Now he hopes his story can help them seek help.
He said: “One hundred per cent there’s other guys in the same boat I was.
“We need people to open up and eradicate the stigma around mental health and alcohol in football.
“Without Back Onside I wouldn’t have been able to open up about my depression.
“It was like I’d been grieving football then grieving my dad.
“Having stopped drinking, I feel better than I did 10 years ago. Fitter, in better shape and mentally I’ve never been in a better place.”
● For more on the charity that helped Sean, visit backonside.co.uk
Professional footballers’ union PFA Scotland, has a full Wellbeing Support Service.
It can help players suffering from a range of issues, from alcohol and gambling addictions to mental health concerns.The confidential and free service is available by phone, text, WhatsApp or via a support service app.
The player will be referred immediately for whatever support they need. The service can be contacted on 0770 256 5916 or via email info@pfascotland.co.uk
Other wellbeing services can be found at www.nhsinform.scot/scotlands-service-directory
