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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Lifestyle
Yolanthe Fawehinmi

Dreading long car journeys with the family this summer? How to avoid arguments and keep everyone happy

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Louise Thomas

Louise Thomas

Editor

If you are going on a long car journey with your family this summer, there are a few things you need to consider – especially if you want the experience to be as stress-free as possible!

Being cooped up in the car together can test our limits, as new research from Renault has found.

More than a fifth (21%) of the 2002 UK adults surveyed admit to having arguments over simple things, while 20% confess to squabbling over how their partner drives, and 25% admit to being more prone to rowing when the kids are misbehaving during journeys. One in five say they struggle to keep their children entertained in the car.

So, how can you avoid car-guments and keep everyone happy on long journeys? A relationship and parenting expert share their top tips…

Make a plan together 

(Alamy/PA)
(Alamy/PA)

“Before you even leave, involve your child in the preparation, which will make the journey itself smoother,” says Matt Buttery, chief executive of ‘positive parenting program’ Triple P UK and Ireland and honorary associate professor at the University of Warwick.

“Talk to them about where you are going and how long it might take so they have some understanding, plan with them what they might like to take in the car to keep them entertained, or let them help with choosing snacks or building the road trip playlist.

“Getting them enthusiastic will carry through to when you’re on the road. You should also consider planning your trip when your child is least likely to be hungry or tired. A less irritable child will be a more enjoyable experience for all.”

Create a playlist together

Relationship expert Persia Lawson agrees music is one of the fastest ways to create a positive atmosphere.

“So why not consider creating a playlist ahead of your journey, whereby everyone gets to contribute the same number of songs?,” she says. “You can then put the playlist on random, so that each person has a fair and equal chance of hearing their favourite songs played.”

Have regular pit-stops

If you’re going on a longer trip, plan regular rest breaks so your child (and you!) can get some fresh air, stretch your legs and have a run-around.

“Comfort breaks will also avoid the inevitable dash to find the nearest roadside bathroom when your child sounds the alarm. It’s also an opportunity to refuel – not necessarily the car but you – get something to eat or have a tea or coffee,” says Buttery. “As a driver and a parent, it’s just as important to look after yourself, as your mood on the journey will set the tone for your passengers.”

The more stressed you are, the more agitated the kids will get...

Lawson adds: “Inevitably, the more stressed you are, the more agitated the kids will get, so take a breather and stop off. For example, you could choose to stop for lunch at a lovely spot, take a short detour to a museum, gallery, or cultural experience.”

Bring plenty of snacks

(Alamy/PA)
(Alamy/PA)

Snacks will always help make a long journey more bearable. Lawson says: “Pack a bag of your favourite drinks and food to break the journey up a bit. If you have young children, perhaps have some healthy options, but also let them pick one or two treats so they feel included in the planning.

“It’s also a good incentive for them to be on their best behaviour if they are tempted to start playing up during the drive!”

Don’t forget games and entertainment

2BY17TD happy asian family sitting in the car
2BY17TD happy asian family sitting in the car

“Make it fun for the kids – which in turn will help you to have a relaxed start to a well-deserved break,” says Lawson. “A long time spent in the car can inevitably feel boring and monotonous, so make the journey an adventure by plotting out fun pit-stops or cultural mini trips in advance of setting off.”

She says it’s important to have games packed, even if it’s the trusty iPads. And we all remember car-game classics like ‘I Spy’.

“Lots of families have their own variations of car games – maybe it’s the rainbow game, or the Mini game – that are simple and help to pass the time. If you want to be more creative, you can create a quiz which will be both fun and educational,” says Buttery. “For quieter moments, audiobooks or podcasts are great options and work even better if your child has headphones so they can listen alone.”

Embrace the chance to talk

Buttery says: “Long trips are also an opportunity to catch up with your child without distractions and talk about what is going on with them, their friends and with school.”

Lawson agrees, saying: “We all know tensions can rise [on long car journeys], but be mindful of your tone and take the opportunity to have those meaningful conversations that you otherwise wouldn’t have. I find it’s actually easier when in the car because you aren’t face to face, and no one can up and leave, so make the most of that time.”

:: Persia Lawson has partnered with the new Renault Scenic. Retail cash buyers are offered ‘Relationship Breakdown Cover’ that guarantees their money back if they split up.

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