You can still hear the torment in Charlie McCann’s voice.
It's only days since he made the biggest decision of his life to leave Rangers. And the truth is, it might be YEARS from now before he knows if he got it right. The 20-year-old found himself at an Ibrox crossroads. Should he have stuck around on the fringes of Michael Beale’s first-team? Or, with new midfielders set to arrive in Govan, was he right to spread his wings and play regularly in England’s League One?
Even now, it’s clear that his deliberations have been painful. It was a wrench for him to go. Because, in the space of 18 months, McCann caught the Rangers bug. That’s why it was such a difficult call to depart for Forest Green Rovers. The former Manchester United kid is excited about kicking on in his career. Especially now, with a certain Duncan Ferguson as his new gaffer.
But it will be hard to leave Ibrox behind. After all, it’s where he made his professional debut. It’s where he earned his first Northern Ireland call-up.
It’s where he experienced European glory nights, albeit as an in-awe bystander. And it’s where he felt warmth from a support desperate for him to succeed.
It has taken a while to get his head around it. He’s now a Forest Green player, with a whole football landscape ahead of him.
But at some point down the line, McCann wants to fulfil the ambition he set himself in July 2021 - to be a mainstay for Rangers. In an exclusive interview with Mailsport, he said: “It was a really difficult decision for me to make.
“I had to try and weigh up what’s going to be better for me in the long-term. I have the chance of getting regular game time in League One, which is a good standard.
“It was whether that’s going to be more beneficial than sitting around at Rangers, waiting for an opportunity that might not come. Eventually I came to a decision. But it was never going to be easy leaving Rangers.
“I’ve only been at the club for a year and a half but I genuinely fell in love with it during my time there. So it was a tough call. Hopefully I’ve made the right decision and I can move forward in my career.
“If I was just floating around and playing B team games at Rangers, it would have been straightforward. I was close to the first-team. But yet so far away, if you know what I mean?
“A lot of boys would have been happy to wait at Rangers. But that’s just not in my nature.
“I just felt like I had to go and prove myself. I didn’t want to get to 22 and still be on the fringes.
“I spoke to the manager, as well as Ross Wilson. Both of them, especially Ross, didn’t want me to leave. But they understood why I was going.
“I’ve always said the one thing I want to do in my career is play consistently for Rangers. If I was doing that now, I wouldn’t even be thinking about going anywhere else.
“And I’ll always want to fulfil that ambition in my career, if I can. If I could get back here, and become a Rangers player again, I wouldn’t miss that opportunity.
“I’d snap someone’s hand off for that in the future. I’m just at the point now where I have to go and make a proper football career for myself - before I start to drift away.”
He might not have racked up appearances at Old Trafford or Ibrox. But McCann says the experience he’s picked up at two of Britain’s biggest clubs will be vital for the next part of his career.
Seeing his Rangers peers reach a European final last season has given him the desire to sample it for himself one day. He said: “I knew about the size of Rangers and the fanbase.
“So I tried to buy into the club straight away and I got a great reception from the supporters. When you’ve got them on-side, it’s so enjoyable there.
“It was class and the support up there is just crazy. The history of the club is incredible.
“Last year, I got to experience those huge European nights at Ibrox. I was there, involved in it.
“So many Rangers fans would say those games are up there with the best and I saw it first hand. What more could you ask for as a young player?
“Now, I want to climb the levels quickly and eventually sample nights like that as a player on the pitch. I’ve been at two massive clubs in Manchester United and Rangers. That has given me a great grounding to really go and kick on.
"The biggest thing about both of them is their traditions. That stands you on a different stead.
“There are some big clubs in the UK where you can go to learn and develop. But Man United and Rangers are different. Jermain Defoe said it when he left Rangers. It’s an institution.
“Man United are the same, they’re two institutions. They have certain morals and values that set them apart from other clubs.
“They’re two of the best. Hopefully from what I’ve learnt at Old Trafford and Ibrox, I can take on now for the rest of my career.”
McCann had plenty of mentors at Rangers, most notably Northern Ireland’s most capped player, Steven Davis. After receiving his first call-up in the summer, he’s determined to win more caps.
And he’s convinced that if he can excel at Forest Green and climb the leagues - he can become a regular in Michael O’Neill’s national side He said: “There were a few players who had a big influence on me at Rangers.
“Davo was particularly good with me, especially with the transition I made to Northern Ireland. Scott Arfield was also brilliant with the young players.
“He’s got that bubbly, excitable personality. He really makes an effort with the young lads.
“He gets around them and was a big help to me. But Davo played a big part in my development.
“I went away with the Northern Ireland seniors in the summer. After being part of it, I know I’m capable of getting to that level and playing in the team.
“But I need to be performing every week for a club. If I can do that in League One before jumping up the levels, I could be looking at a lot of senior international involvement.
“That would propel me forward in my career even more.”
McCann also can’t wait to work under Duncan Ferguson - and plans to use his Rangers links to get in the manager’s good books.
He joined joined Forest Green Rovers last just 24 hours before previous boss Ian Burchnall was sacked. Ex-Gers cult hero Ferguson has taken over a squad which already has four Scots in it - Dylan McGeouch, Jamie Robson, Kyle McAllister and Regan Hendry.
McCann is excited to sample big Dunc’s managerial style and hopes his Ibrox connections come in handy. The 20-year-old said: “I only met the manager on Friday for the first time.
“I’m hoping to use my Rangers links to my advantage with him going forward! I’m sure I’ll enjoy playing under him but there will probably be a few times where he puts us in our place!
“I know all about his career and I’ve spoken to a few lads I know at Everton. They say he’s a good guy and I’ll enjoy working with him.
“We’ve got a few Scots down here already so maybe if I put on my Scottish accent, he’ll like me.”
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