Well, heavens to Murgatroyd, but these electric scooters are like London buses – you wait for ages for one, then two come along at the same time.
You can’t hear them sneak up on you, you see.
As those of you who have been paying attention will remember, a couple of weeks ago it was the Chinese-made NIU MQi GT EVO, a splendid little machine which was only four grand, but which I immediately decided by a vote of one to zero with no abstentions was the best electric scooter I’ve ridden so far.
And this week it’s a bigger and much more expensive beast altogether, the German-made BMW CE 04, which has 42bhp compared to the NIU’s 7bhp, but costs £11,700, or an even more eye-watering £13,930 if you buy all the optional extras.
It certainly looks splendidly futuristic, although in a retro kind of way – the sort of machine that Dan Dare would have ridden in Eagle comics in the Sixties on his way to give the evil Mekon of Mekonta a dig in the dongles.
What do you mean, you haven’t a clue what I’m talking about? You’re just not old enough, but give it time.
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, looking at the seat of the CE 04 and thinking it looked suspiciously like a plank – a suspicion confirmed when I sat on it and found that it felt like a plank as well.
Mmm, time would tell if it got more comfortable, but in the meantime, I distracted myself by admiring the excellent mirrors and the fabulous 10.25in screen. Heavens, my grandparents’ first TV was smaller than that.
The battery was showing 100% and the range 77 miles, and a switch on the right bar toggles between the various riding modes – Eco, Rain, Road and in this case the optional Dynamic.
It also has a reverse.
Acceleration is brisk enough in the lower modes, and whippy enough in Dynamic to get it from 0-30mph in 2.6 seconds, which is quick enough to beat most cars away from the lights in urban duelling.
That’s even more impressive given that it weighs 235kg, which is a huge drop from the lardy 275kg of BMW’s first generation e-scoot, the C-Evolution in 2014.
Handling, with the weight down low and 15in wheels, is superb, allowing you to fling it through bends with graceful precision made even more satisfying by the silence and the seamless power delivery.
The brakes aren’t linked, as on the NIU, but with two big disks up front, slowing is as seamless and controlled as acceleration, backed up by engine braking which recharges the battery, especially in Eco mode.
And the battery needs it – after a 10-mile blast down the motorway at up to 79mph, at which point a screen would also have been welcome rather than the strange truncated orange bit of plastic fitted, the range was down to 47 miles.
It’s also got heated grips and seat, although if you’re going any distance on a cold day, both the cold and using both of those will drain the battery faster than I can empty a glass of wine on a Friday night.
The seat’s so bad that it was hard to tell what the suspension was like, although it did seem to soak up rough roads with aplomb.
By now I’d ridden 30 miles in an hour of motorway and A and B roads, and the range was down to 37 miles, so BMW’s claim of an 80-mile range is probably about right for urban commuting rather than spirited dashing about in Dynamic mode.
At the end of that hour, the seat hadn’t got any more comfortable, so whoever designed it has no conception of the shape of the human bottom. I’ll send them a photo of mine to give them a clue. No, actually, I’ll send a photo of my wife’s, since it’s nicer.
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BMW does offer another five seat options, including the more comfortable Indian Bed of Nails and Broken Glass with Rusty Razor Blades versions, but why on Earth it uses this as the standard seat is a mystery both to me and my nether regions.
At least under it is storage space for a full-face helmet.
And then there’s the price. If you add the Dynamic mode option, which is £380 extra, the fast charger at £850 to reduce charging time from four hours 20 minutes to an hour and 40 minutes, the City Pack at £780 and the Avant-Garde colours at £220, the price goes up to £13,930.
The nearest equivalent BMW petrol scooter, the popular 34bhp C 400 X, is 25kg lighter and only £6,250, or less than half the price of a fully-specced CE 04.
So although a PCP deal with 25% deposit and £137.94 would ease the pain, it’s hard to see who’ll buy this apart from early adopters inside the M25 with buns of steel. Or Dan Dare.
- Scooter supplied by BMW Motorrad Belfast at charleshurstgroup.co.uk/bmw
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