Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
High Noon changed my opinion on slim-can hard seltzers and canned cocktails. Granted, the bar had been set pretty low by White Claw, but High Noon’s balancing act between flavor, fizz and a light calorie count has earned it a spot among my regular drink rotation. Particularly in summer, when those vodka sodas go down smoooooooth.
Unsurprisingly, High Noon has opted to capitalize on this strength. 2023 marks the brand’s venture into the the next big market in the canned cocktail/hard seltzer landscape: tequila. The formula is simple; a little fruit juice, tequila blanco and seltzer. As usual, you’ve got the 100 calorie benchmark and 4.5 percent alcohol by volume.
This summer has seen a proliferation of tequila-based canned cocktails. High Noon has a head start thanks to its name recognition and track record. Will its tequila seltzers take advantage of that, or merely sink to just-OK levels?
Lime: A-
The first sip is light but flavorful. The lime and agave are right there up front, but neither are overpowering. The tequila itself is smooth and fades into the woodwork in a pleasing way. It’s sweeter than expected — not as dry as most seltzers. There’s a little bit of a soda feel to it, although the booze is persistent enough that it never gets all the way there.
Out of the can …. hooo boy, this goes down easy. The carbonation keeps it from feeling cloyingly sweet but it remains incredibly easy to drink. It’s probably not an everyday can for me, but it’s another great canned cocktail from a brand that leads the pack among the macro-brewers in its field.
Strawberry: A-
I’m into it. Crisp seltzer bubbles balance out that sweetness (and it does feel less sweet than the lime) and makes this whole thing very pleasant. The tequila is pretty muted here, which for me is a feature but for someone looking for a big agave taste might be a disappointment. In fact, I’m not sure I’d land on tequila over vodka if you blind taste-tested me. That’s a project for another day, though.
Sipping from the can concentrates that flavor. This is not boozy or boring but an extremely drinkable light beverage that I could very easily absentmindedly drink a case of one afternoon. I’m not quite sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but if we’re working one can at a time we’re two for two when it comes to straight-up hits.
Grapefruit: C
Hooo boy, that citrus sour shines through on the first sip. While the strawberry was markedly sweet this is defined by its absence of that fructose, this is sour grapefruit in an overpowering way up front. By the time it mellows out at the end you’re left with some authentic flavor and a little dry sweetness, but it’s a trek to get there.
That’s going to be a positive for some people. This mix pack is casting a wide net of flavors and maybe I just got stung going from one of the sweetest fruits out there to the breakfast fruit that needs to be coated in sugar to be edible. If you like straight-up grapefruit then, congrats. It’s front and center here with only minor notes of tequila. If you don’t, well, gonna be a rough two cans to plow through when you’re at the end of this pack.
Passionfruit: B+
This blends the sweet of the strawberry with the acidic sour of the grapefruit in a pleasant combination. Neither side is overpowering and, like most seltzers, there’s a certain dryness involved that leaves you wanting more. Once again the tequila is an afterthought — honestly you could convince me there’s vodka or neutral spirits in here, since all you’re getting is fruit flavor. That’s not a bad thing. For a light canned cocktail it’s more or less where I want to be.
All in all, that’s two very good flavors, one pretty good one and one drinkable one that I’d settle for in a pinch. But now, onto the important measure of any beverage’s worth …
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
Welcome to a new feature on these reviews; a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I opt for High Noon’s tequila seltzers over a cold can of Hamm’s?
Lime, strawberry and passion fruit? Yes. Grapefruit? It’d depend on how hot it was outside and how cold the beverages are.
