Bereaved Scots mum Moira Miller says CHAS, which first welcomed her little boy to Rachel House in Kinross 30 years ago, has taught her to hold on to her precious son by keeping him in her heart. It was 24 years ago when her younger boy, James, passed away at the age of nine.
Yet, today, Moira still reaches out to the charity whose support and understanding help her through “when the tough days come.” James Miller was born a healthy baby who enjoyed happy, carefree early years with parents Moira and Willie and big brother, Andrew.
But, soon after James’ fifth birthday, his mum found him unresponsive after he’d experienced a fit. When a consultant delivered a diagnosis of degenerative brain disorder, it was clear that life would never be the same again.
“My James liked football and digging holes in the garden,” explained Moira. “He was happiest when he was outside and dirty. He enjoyed playing with his brother and his brother’s friends. His favourite meal was macaroni cheese. Once he became ill, all these things stopped for him.”
Although charity CHAS was still in its infancy when James became sick, construction of Rachel House was nearing completion. “CHAS came into my life the Christmas before Rachel House opened,” continued Moira. “A lady came to Edinburgh Royal Hospital for Sick Children to see us and invited us to come and see the hospice.
"We then went for a visit before it opened, with scaffolding still up around it. There were no beds or grass but the soft play area was finished and we could tell this was going to be a special place.”
Rachel House was opened in May 1996 – and the Miller family were among the first to be able to use the facility.
Moira recalls: “The care from CHAS was second to none. When the doctors told us how ill James was, CHAS stepped in straight away. They helped me learn how to care for James and helped me realise that we were still a family that could have fun and laughter.
“We all went on to stay at Rachel House many times. They would listen to me. I was so scared of what was happening to James and to me. CHAS became a way and a place to meet other families who were going through the same thing.”
Sadly, James died early one morning in July 1998, at the age of nine years old. “We used the Rainbow Room, which is a special place in the hospice, after James died,” said Moira, of St Andrews, Fife. “CHAS gave us precious time together.”
Now, Moira still takes part in Rachel House’s annual Remembering Day – a service at which every child’s name is acknowledged. “Even now, I need help from CHAS when the tough days come,” she said. “CHAS has taught me how to hold on to James. I do this by keeping him in my heart. He goes where I go.”
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