Despite being a natural process, menstruation tends to be somewhat of a taboo topic. That’s why women are often subjected to shame and other sorts of negative feelings or feel forced to hide the fact that they’re menstruating.
That includes hiding the period products they use, which was something this redditor’s husband expected her to do. He said that seeing the pads in the bathroom, which the couple shared with the husband’s friend, might make the latter feel uncomfortable.
To learn more about the stigma surrounding period products and menstruation, Bored Panda turned to endocrinologist and medical doctor specializing in menstrual cycles, Professor at the University of British Columbia, Jerilynn C. Prior. She was kind enough to answer a few of our questions, so scroll down to find her insight in the text below.
Some women feel compelled to hide the fact that they’re on their period
Image credits: Bored Panda
This redditor’s husband asked her to hide her period products as they might make his male friend uncomfortable
Image credits: jim_video (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Superb_Tension6793
It takes both men and women to abolish the stigma around menstruation
Shaming people for something that’s out of their control is uncalled for at best; even more so if it’s something completely natural. Take menstruation, for example; despite being a natural process, it is still widely stigmatized to the extent where women feel pressured to actively hide it.
“The menstrual taboo is hard to see and identify but is a direct and flagrant act of discrimination against women in this era when most think that men and women are treated equally,” Jerilynn C. Prior, an endocrinologist and medical doctor specializing in menstrual cycles, told Bored Panda in a recent interview.
“Abolishing the menstrual taboo requires that men acknowledge, accept and are comfortable with women’s menstrual bleeding and everything that they need to effectively deal with it,” she emphasized, adding that period products should be located conveniently to the women who need them, instead of being hidden.
The expert suggested that, in order to minimize the stigma, period products should be placed next to other everyday items that might be used by both sexes, such as shaving products, for instance. “The stigma arises from men’s dominance in the culture and supposed physical superiority,” she said, pointing out that that’s why it’s important for women to speak about it with the men in their lives, be it sons, partners, or male friends.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Centuries ago, menstruating women were compared to mythical beasts
It’s no surprise that when society expects females to hide the fact that they have been visited by Aunt Flo, are living through that time of the month, trying to survive the shark week, or going through whatever-you-might-call-it, so do people like the OP’s husband. Even though women couldn’t escape the monthly bleeding sessions even if they wanted to—and I am sure there are days when they really really do—the stigma prevails from all members of society, but often especially strongly from men.
Lecturer in Premodern History at the University of Leeds, Rachael Gillibrand, pointed out that the problem is nearly as old as time itself and has been rather persistent among male scholars throughout history. As far back as in AD70, menstruation was linked to “most monstrous effects”, and by the 17th century, menstruating women had evolved to “mythical beasts with venomous breath”.
Even now in the 21st century, women are still often expected to act as if menstruation didn’t exist
Unfortunately, as Rachael Gillibrand pointed out in a piece for The Conversation, the situation didn’t get much better as we entered the 20th or the 21st centuries. Even though nowadays women on their period are not considered mythical beasts, the topic of menstruation is still very much stigmatized and they are often expected to act as if it didn’t exist at all.
For example, back in the 1950s, an ad for sanitary towels focused on how similar the box is to a napkin box, suggesting that hiding it is something that should be done. Even as recently as 2020, a well-known feminine care product brand received backlash for similar insinuations when they introduced tampons in packaging that can be opened silently.
Such advertising shows that women are expected to hide the fact that they’re on their period, so it’s no surprise that the OP’s husband preferred she did, too. Research on stigma surrounding the topic emphasized that many boys and girls grow up believing that menstruation is dirty and embarrassing, but such ideas can lead to detrimental consequences for both women’s physical and mental well-being, their sexuality, and overall quality of life.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
More than four-in-ten women have experienced period-shaming
The research also pointed out that women who internalize the negative attitudes related to menstruation try to actively conceal it, which can evoke a heightened sense of self-consciousness, hypervigilance, and menstrual shame. As a matter of fact, nearly 60% of women have felt embarrassment simply because they were on their period.
A poll of roughly 1,500 women commissioned by THINX found that 42% of them have experienced period-shaming, which, for one-fifth of the surveyees, came from a male friend, the New York Post reports. Moreover, nearly three out of four women admitted to having hidden period products from view or worn the type of clothing to hide a leak if it were to happen.
A spokeswoman for THINX emphasized that “The culture surrounding menstruation must be changed, and it takes both women and men to make that happen.” That is why not hiding one’s pads or other period products is not only okay, but maybe even necessary in situations such as the OP’s in order to break down the stigma around it.
Fellow redditors shared their opinions, they didn’t think the woman was the jerk in the situation
