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USA Today Sports Media Group
USA Today Sports Media Group
Sport
Robert Zeglinski

Zach Wilson’s new slick-backed hair is so cringey, and we can’t un-see it

There’s an old stereotype about an oft-bullied, dorky kid who thinks he can reinvent himself at his new school. They decide that changing a surface-level aspect of their personality will be enough for a respected reputation with people who don’t know them. Of course, it never is because that’s not how it works.

Enter Zach Wilson, king of the bullied.

The ex-New York Jet is beginning his first season as a quarterback for the Denver Broncos. After spectacularly busting with Gang Green, Wilson is clearly ready for the fresh change of scenery.

I know this because he unveiled a new slicked-back hairstyle for his time with Mile High. No one’s going to bully him anymore. No way!

To me, the hairdo makes Wilson look like a bizarre cross of Gordon Gecko from Wall Street and a bog-standard star player on a lacrosse team. I’m not sure what he was thinking other than maximizing an opportunity to be the cool new kid at his new school.

We’ll see if that gambit works.

NFL fans had so many jokes about Zach Wilson’s new hairstyle

 

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