NOT knowing is the hardest part.
Eight weeks since her partner John Davidson vanished, Karen Radford isn't any closer to closure.
"You assume after eight weeks he probably wouldn't be alive, but your mind keeps going - 'what if someone took him in?'," she said.
"The not knowing is the bit that does your head in ... it's heartbreaking.
"You're forever living in limbo, every time you get in the car you're continually looking around because you have no closure."
The 72-year-old missing man lives with advanced dementia and has trouble with verbal communication.
He left his home on Tennent Road at Mount Hutton about 10:15am on November 7, which wasn't unusual for the friendly, family man who often went for walks on his own.
He's believed to have walked southeast along Wilsons Road, and was seen on South Street at Mount Hutton heading towards the Pacific Highway just after 11am.
A NSW Police spokesman said since then, there's been an extensive multi-agency search involving police, trail bike officers, POLAIR, all-terrain vehicles, NSW SES and family and friends.
Repeated statewide appeals have also been made through the media and online.
"Despite these efforts, there's been no sign of Mr Davidson," he said.
"Patrol of key areas continue through routine taskings."
He said members of the public who use the Belmont wetlands, Redhead Beach and sandhills should report anything that may help with the search to Lake Macquarie police or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
Police also searched a stretch of the Fernleigh Track at Belmont North in mid-November, but came up empty-handed.
Ms Radford and Mr Davidson have been partners for three decades, he was a surveyor who had travelled to Newcastle for work after the 1989 earthquake when the pair first met.
Over the years he became more forgetful, eventually he was diagnosed with dementia and Ms Radford did her best to care for him.
"I don't know what happened that day, I was still working from home Thursdays and Fridays so I could keep an eye on him, even when I was home I'd think he was in the backyard but you couldn't stop him from walking," she said.
"His dementia was getting worse but he had it for seven years, the worst part of it was his speech - if you spoke to him you would assume he was drunk because in his mind he was telling you a story and all the words were right but when they came out they were jumbled and you couldn't understand them."
Before he disappeared, Ms Radford had looked into getting some help - but she had always tried to maintain her partner's independence.
"He had been getting worse and he was wandering, I saw a post put up about how I should have put him into a nursing home and that was one of the things he never, ever wanted," she said.
"I was trying to keep him at home as long as I could."
Life without Mr Davidson has been hard, but existing without closure has been heartbreaking for Ms Radford and the family.
But for as long as her love for him has endured, she won't give up on John.
"Keep looking for him," she said.
"If you think you see him, go up and ask if his name is John."
Mr Davidson is described as being of Caucasian appearance, about 175cm tall, with medium build and grey hair and may be wearing jeans and white joggers.
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