A woman has asked users on Mumsnet if she's being 'pedantic' about worrying if her partner will pay her back for Christmas dinner.
Christmas can be a difficult time financially for some of us, with extra cash in the month of December going towards presents, Christmas dinner, and other costs. One woman has taken to Mumsnet to ask if she's in the wrong worrying about her boyfriend paying her back for parts of the Christmas dinner.
The woman explained that she and her boyfriend have been together nine months, and this will be their first Christmas together. They plan to spend Christmas Day with his family (and Christmas Eve and 30 December with hers), with her boyfriend cooking Christmas dinner.
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She said: "A couple of weekends ago, he suggested going to a lovely (but expensive) butchers to order some meat for [Christmas day]. We went in together, and chose the meat we would like.
"They didn’t take payment and said we could pay when we collect on Friday this week. My boyfriend is working all week, so he asked if I could collect the meat and told me he would pay.
"He also has asked me to get a few bits whilst I’m off this week; vegetables and cheese etc. He said he would pay this too. I’ve said that I will cover the drinks, desserts, table dressings, crackers etc.
"I was happy with this arrangement, and told my mum this today in conversation. She said “well as long as you’re not footing the Bill for everything as that would be unfair... “ This made me feel negative and think about things."
She went to explain that they normally split everything equally, but the situation reminded her of a previous issue waiting for him to pay her parents back.
The post says: "When me and him go out, everything is 50/50 ish. He will pay for one thing, I will pay next time.
"However I did have a situation before where my parents arranged with him to buy cigarettes for him at the airport, he took a while to pay them back and my parents kept nagging at me. All of a sudden I was the middle man. I ended up paying my parents from my own money, just to protect the relationship and stop them nagging.
"I didn’t tell my boyfriend that they were nagging for the money back, but one day he just remembered and then sent me over the money. I suppose what my mum said earlier has had me thinking. In the back of my mind I’m worrying that whatever I spend to feed his family this week, I won’t get back.
"It’s not the money I’m concerned about, it’s more the principle I suppose. Should I ask him for the money to collect the meat up front? Or am I just being too pedantic?! My Mum has been known to plant a seed in my head about something and I let it grow and escalate into something major!"
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The post has received mixed responses, with some users wanting more details on the situation. One user said: "I don’t fully understand the cigarettes issue. Did you tell him “hey parents need to be paid back?” Or were you too embarrassed to remind him?
"Not that you should have to remind him, but it is a missed opportunity to discus’s expectations. It’s also a missed opportunity to let him know how much it means for someone to keep his word without being reminded to."
Others said the problem was as simple as reminding him to pay, with one commenting: "It literally sounds like he just forgot. I think your thinking to much into is. He pays 50/50 usually so I don't get what your problem is." Another replied to that comment saying: "This. It seems like a non issue. Just ask him."
Another thought the problem could run deeper, saying: "Your mom couldn’t plant a seed in infertile conditions… Don’t be the type of person to blame others while not taking full accountability for your own behaviours. Your mom can say whatever but it’s 100% up to you in how you run with it."
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