A woman whose teeth were broken by her abusive ex-partner is now seeking support to get them fixed. Charlea Adams said she has been unable to get her smile fixed on the NHS because it is considered cosmetic.
Nearly a decade on from her ordeal the 35-year-old based in Bridgend is raising money so she can finally look in the mirror without being reminded of her attack. She said her broken teeth have also led to online abuse from trolls as well as awkward questions from people she meets who don't understand what she has been through.
Charlea said it took a few months before she noticed controlling behaviour in her partner. She said: "I was with him for about nine months before I noticed it but it's hard to pinpoint it exactly because it started off minimal. There was a lot of financial abuse and then he began to break things around me as opposed to hurting me. That developed into him slapping me and then full-on attacking me."
Read more: 'I had no idea my violent ex was a convicted domestic abuser'
Charlea, who moved to Wales from England to get away from her ex-partner, said a common misconception about abusive relationships was that it's easy to leave. Instead she said the potential consequences of dumping her partner brought her far more fear than staying in the relationship itself. She said: "It's the fear of the repercussions of what will happen if you do leave that makes you stay. The anger you know you are going to get if you try to leave is worse than staying in the relationship. If you weren't so afraid of the repercussions why wouldn't you leave?"
Describing the incident that led to her broken teeth Charlea said she punched, strangled, and threatened with a knife. She said: "The relationship wasn't that bad in the weeks leading up to the incident – it came out of the blue.
"We had been out at an event the night before where he slapped me. He wasn't happy with me that whole night. I slept over a friend's house then went back home to mine the following day and he travelled for 40 minutes to my house. He punched me that time and strangled me and he had a knife. It was really horrible. He beat me and he pulled my hair and dragged me across the kitchen. When he punched me I lost one tooth and had another removed because it died."
Charlea said the incident was the final time her ex-partner hurt her. She said a neighbour called the police and the case eventually ended up in court.
Describing the aftermath she said: "I looked fine in the days that followed. I had no marks or bruises on me but the next day I couldn't move my neck. I don't know if it was the adrenaline but I couldn't move for two days. Then black and blue bruises appeared around my neck. My body just hurt for about three or four days after.
"On the day of the court hearing I nearly bottled it. Going up the steps of the court I said: 'I can't do it' and my mum and friend took me aside and said I had to. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life – going into court, saying what happened, and looking at him. You are still so scared of them at that point and you still have feelings for someone like that. If you love someone it doesn't just switch off."
Charlea said in the years that followed the relationship she became pessimistic and withdrawn. She said: "It turned me quite cold and I became untrusting of everyone around me for a long time. I wasn't the person I was before the relationship or who I actually am. It changed me in some really horrible ways. I didn't get any help because I was concentrating on my kids and getting them support."
More recently Charlea said she has undergone a great deal of personal growth. She has started a TikTok account called @queen_charlea where she helps survivors of domestic abuse and raises awareness about the issue. She said it has led to a few nasty comments from people who don't understand why her bottom teeth are broken. She said she sometimes also feels judged by people she meets in real life and finds it difficult having to explain herself.
She said: "People jump to conclusions when they see me with no teeth. When people ask what happened to my teeth the only answer I have is the truth. I don't want to keep explaining it to people."
Recently Charlea started a GoFundMe page to help her raise money to finally get her teeth fixed. She said she is unable to get the work done on the NHS because it is considered cosmetic.
"It's not about vanity," she said. "Every time I brush my teeth and every time I have a picture or a video with my kids I have this gap. People say to me: 'Don't worry, you have a beautiful smile' but I'm fully aware that it's there. I know how I got it and getting my teeth fixed would help to wash away the memory of what happened. You can't heal all of it but it would help me massively."
Charlea said she has reached her £1,400 goal but she is continuing to raise money so that any extra can be donated to Women's Aid. She said she has recently used some of the money to buy items for the women and children the charity helps.
She said: "The idea was just to get my teeth fixed but it turned into so much more. Anything left over I will be donating to Women's Aid. I did a bit of shopping recently to get some things for them such as sanitary products and nappies and Easter eggs for the children. That's because a lot of the women helped by Women's Aid have to leave in the middle of the night."
Overwhelmed by the support and donations she has so far received, Charlea said: "Someone gave me £1,000 and I was blown away by that. I was so shocked that I woke up and wondered if it was real. A friend of mine has been sharing it on TikTok getting others to share it wider and it has been amazing."
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse visit the Live Fear Free website or call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800.
READ NEXT:
- 'I thought my domestic abuse nightmare was over, then I had a text in the middle of the night'
- Man strangled partner, punched her repeatedly, and trashed her house
- 'I was a happy little girl then my biological father sexually abused me every night for six months'
- Teacher who bragged about her sex life and swore in pupils' faces is banned from the classroom
- All the distressing domestic abuse, stalking and harassment calls a Welsh police force took in a single day
