For many people getting married, having your parents or guardians on hand to help you make some of the important wedding planning decisions is incredibly important, as you want the people who raised you to help guide you through the process.
But one bride has been left heartbroken after she asked her stepmum to come and stay with her for a week to help with wedding planning as well as "bond" with her and her two-year-old child - as her stepmum told her she would rather stay at home with her pet parrot.
The woman explained she adopted a rescue macaw three years ago, and since then hasn't taken any trips away or stayed overnight away from the bird, as it would "be too disruptive" for it.
So when her stepdaughter asked her to come and visit, she felt she had to say no, because she doesn't want to be separated from her macaw for that long.
Her refusal to travel has caused a rift between her stepdaughter and her husband though, as she's now been accused of being "cold and emotionless" for prioritising her pet over her family.
In a post on Reddit, she said: "I'm the owner of a wonderful rescued macaw. She is a wonderful bird but has a lot of issues due to an abusive former home. I've had her for 3 years and since then haven't taken any vacations or trips away as it would be too disruptive for her. She distrusts everyone and is very reliant on her routine. I love her deeply and I'm happy to make sacrifices for her.
"I met my husband by the time his kids were older, my stepdaughter was 16 at the time. We married when she moved away for college. Nevertheless, I thought we'd managed to have a decent relationship, until now.
"My stepdaughter is getting married in March, and naturally, there's a lot of preparation involved. They're wanting a huge traditional wedding and she is stressed out of her mind. They live out of state, and she invited me recently to come to visit her for a week to help make wedding plans and spend time with their 2-year-old. I declined and she insisted to know why, acting very hurt, and I explained about the parrot ... and it all went downhill from there.
"She caused a massive fuss with her dad, saying she never got a mother figure and I never accepted her as my full-blood daughter and this is the ultimate snub for a silly animal. That I'm cold and emotionless.
"I feel really hurt and I can tell he agrees with her even though he's refusing to take sides. But I don't see why I should be expected to take holiday time off work to babysit and 'bond' all of a sudden and I don't see how I'm a monster for this."
Commenters on the post were split, as while many people understood her fears around leaving her macaw alone, others said she should make more of an effort to bond with her stepdaughter.
One person said: "You do realise that 'bonding' time with your stepdaughter and grandchild is just as much, if not more, important than 'bonding' with your macaw that you've already had for 3 years?"
While another added: "Sounds like you're using the bird as an excuse to get out of things you don't want to do. You don't want to bond or hang out with their kid. She knows. Your husband knows. Not sure why you're blaming the bird."
But another disagreed, writing: "Macaws and parrots are not just 'birds' like budgies where you can ask a pet sitter to feed and water them all week. They are an 80-year commitment and often only bond to a single person. Birds in general are extremely sensitive to any environmental changes so someone who doesn’t know what they are doing can hurt or even kill the macaw.
"Shame on everyone for saying 'choosing an animal over family' like it's a bad thing. The macaw seems more like family than her stepdaughter. If it was that big of a deal then the stepdaughter would help make accommodations rather than just wanting a babysitter."
In an edit to the original post, the woman explained she had talked things through with her stepdaughter, and agreed for the two of them to do the wedding planning over Zoom.
She said: "I called my stepdaughter and told her that I understand this is a big moment in her life and she wants someone there to help and support her and that I'm still willing to help her in any way I can to plan the wedding via Zoom and virtually.
"We ended the conversation positively and I'm hoping things can improve going forward. I told her I'm a crazy bird lady and asked her if she still wants a relationship knowing that and she said that after the wedding she's willing to travel to visit us if we have room, which we do."
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