A woman has sparked a debate after sharing a message she got from a Hinge match who asked her to get drinks at a bar by his house.
Clarke, @claaaarke_, shared a post on Twitter over the weekend of the message where her Hinge match responded to one of her dating prompts that said: “The best way to asked me out is by opening with a time and place…let’s save the small talk for dinner!” In his reply, the unnamed man gave her a time and day to meet for drinks at a bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
When she messaged him back, she said she’d “bet $100 that the bar [was] down the street” from his apartment in Brooklyn and accused him or not giving “any consideration to the fact” that she lived so far away, as her home is on the westside of Manhattan.
The Hinge match then confirmed that the bar was near his apartment, before claiming that he took her location into consideration. He said that he “figured” that she doesn’t go to East Williamsburg too often and that it was going to be “gorgeous” weather on the day he wanted to meet. He also pointed out that the bar had “a nice outdoor section”.
He concluded his message by encouraging her to reach out to him if she “changed [her] mind on [him] being inconsiderate”.
In the caption of her tweet, Clarke criticised her Hinge match for why he chose this date spot.
“F for effort in asking me to travel an hour to have a drink with you at a place two blocks from your home,” one wrote. “Drinks is so he can spend less money but it’s nighttime so he can ask me back to his place after. & as if Manhattan doesn’t have patios?!”
As of 10 April, the tweet has more than 12.5m views. Many Twitter users in the comments agreed with Clarke and slammed the Hinge match.
“As a gay man who also lives on the west side of Manhattan, I completely understand your pain here, lol,” one wrote. “At minimum he could have suggested a bar off the Bedford stop or in the [East Village]!”
“Bars with outdoor sections are super common, too, so the excuse of his choice being cool or unique or different is trash,” another wrote.
“I’m with you on this one @claaaarke_ . He should have *at least* offered to meet you halfway. Only explanation is he’s just trying to hook up, not wanting anything serious, for minimal effort. Low-risk high-reward (for him). But he can’t expect a high hit rate with that strategy,” a third claimed.
Other people criticised Clarke for not wanting to go on the date because of the location and defended her Hinge match.
“Does your bio also say you refuse to leave your neighbourhood lol? Why live in New York if the biggest problem here is not wanting to take a train or Uber to a different neighbourhood?” one claimed. “Sounds really close-minded and like a red flag!”
“He.. didn’t do anything wrong lmfao,” another added. “Shouldn’t have matched with him unless you were interested enough to provide an alternative.”
A third wrote: “I’m sure he was going to pay for your food and drinks (since he asked you out) paying for your own travel isn’t unreasonable at all.”
In a video posted to TikTok Sunday, Clarke addressed the viral debate about her Twitter post. After criticising the patio of the bar that her Hinge match allegedly recommended, she further explained why he wasn’t considerate.
“Even if it was the most beautiful bar in the world, how inconsiderate is it for you to ask a woman to travel so far out of her way to meet you at a place that you can literally see, you can literally spit on from the window in your bedroom?”she asked. “That is insane.”
She then claimed that the unnamed man might have thought his date idea was “smart” so they could walk back to his place after and he could “get some”. She said this apparent strategy didn’t mean that the man was a “bad person,” just an “interesting one”
Clarke also addressed the criticism she got for not asking the Hinge match to meet somewhere else.
“Am I the only one who saw that message that he knew I lived really far away and just did not care?” she said. “This may seem like a super small thing, but not even offering to meet me halfway for a first date is super indicative. One of his intentions with me, and two just the fact that he’s not considerate of me and my time.”
She concluded her video by sharing her stance on being single and noting that it is “not an illness”.
“You never have to lower whatever standards you have or take less than what you feel like you deserve to meet a man where he is. Because you’ll be fine,” she said.
The Independent has contacted Clarke for comment.
