A woman has sparked a debate about first date etiquette and red flags after revealing that a Bumble date accused her of making a “scene” when she showed up late, requested to switch tables and spilled a drink.
The woman, who goes by the username @blacknbitchy on TikTok, where she frequently shares day-in-the-life videos, described the first date in a video posted in December, in which she revealed that she ended up leaving the dinner early after her date got upset.
In the clip, the TikToker began the story by explaining that she had met her date on Bumble, and that they had decided to go to dinner for their first meeting.
She then revealed that she had arrived to the date slightly late, but that she “communicated with him the whole time and he was acting cool about it and never said anything was a problem”.
According to the TikTok user, once she arrived, her date didn’t say anything about her lateness, but she noted that she couldn’t tell whether he was being “pissy” or if they were just simply not hitting it off.
In the video, the woman then explained that when they had gotten to the restaurant, she had requested that they switch from a table to a booth, as a previous injury means that it is better for her to sit in a booth whenever possible.
She explained that they had originally been seated at a table, where they sat for a few minutes, before they moved locations in the restaurant.
However, while the pair were moving to the booth, she recalled how she’d accidentally knocked over a glass of water, which she said then spilled all over the bench.
“Why did he get so pissy and, like, so mad?” she continued, adding that she and her date then proceeded to sit in silence as a restaurant employee cleaned up the water.
After the spill had been cleaned up, the TikToker said she told her date that he “seemed mad,” to which he responded: “I mean,” while raising his eyebrows in what she described as a “‘well duh’ insinuation”.
The date then proceeded to suggest that she had caused a scene, with the woman recalling: “He’s like: ‘I mean, I don’t love when people cause scenes.’”
According to the TikToker, she then ordered a drink, while her date did not. However, the date came to a conclusion shortly after when she said she told her date that she wasn’t sure if the “vibe is going to turn around” to which he said he didn’t know either.
“So I was like: ‘Okay, well I will leave,’ and he was like: ‘Okay, if you want to,’” she continued, concluding: “Yeah, I do want to, bye.”
On TikTok, where the video has since been viewed more than 950,000 times, the TikToker has turned off comments under the clip.
However, viewers have since used the comments sections of follow-up videos to debate the situation, with some siding with the TikToker while others have suggested that her date, who was 38, had a point.
“Why is he triggered so easily?” one person asked, while another said: “38 and he was pouting like that?! Getting bent out of shape over such minor things is a bad sign.”
Someone else wrote: “Thank GOD you weren’t invested. He showed you who he was.”
However, others defended the date on the basis that the TikToker was late, and then potentially made a “big deal” about the seating.
In response to a comment from one person who questioned whether she had made a “big deal” out of the seating after showing up late, the woman said that she did not make a big deal, but rather asked if she and her date could move to a booth that was opening up nearby.
“And yes, I was late. Again, yes I was late,” she added.
The clarification prompted some to acknowledge that the date was likely upset by all of the factors, with one viewer writing: “Yeah it’s no biggie - BUT he was probably like: FIRST she’s late, THEN she’s not happy with the table, THEN she spills a water.”
Someone else said they saw “both sides,” adding: “Yeah your accidents aren’t a huge deal but asking are you mad? Instead of just apologising for the inconveniences… idk.”
“I would have been irritated with you as well,” one person wrote.
Another person claimed that the TikToker would have been upset if the situation were reversed, to which she responded that she would “not be upset if he were late” as she is an “understanding person”.
She also noted that she lives in New York City, where she is dependent on the trains, which are often subject to delays. In regards to her request for a booth, she reiterated that she has “chronic injuries” and needs special accommodations.
“And, when available, I opt in to those accommodations,” she continued. “And how are you mad because somebody has an accidental spill? That’s lame, that’s weird.”
However, others defended the woman on the basis that none of the factors should have upset her date as much as they did.
“Girl, don’t explain yourself,” one person wrote, while another said: “Why are people gaslighting you? He was rude.”
The Independent has contacted @blacknbitchy for comment.
