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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Angharad Thomas

Woman says she feels 'useless' after boyfriend gets a new job before her

A woman thinks her new partner is trying to steal her thunder after turning a job hunt into a competition which is making her feel "absolutely useless". She took to the popular forum Mumsnet to explain that she's been unhappy at work for a while but her new partner always seemed to enjoy his job. However once she decided to apply for a new job so did he.

On the 'am I being unreasonable' thread she shared how he would boast about his successful interviews and would brush over any job application news she would share. The woman said that the final straw came when he insisted on celebrating his job offer while she was still waiting to hear from a company.

She wrote: "I have had a new partner for around three months, so still relatively new. I have always been open about not particularly liking my job, and in the new year, I decided to take some time out and go looking for a new job. Very quickly I got a couple of interviews and I am waiting to hear back about a last stage interview and continuing to apply.

Read more: Mum sparks debate after asking if she should allow her teenager to watch Love Island

"When we first met, it seemed to me that he enjoyed his job and never spoke negatively about it. He even walked around wearing a company branded hat. However, as soon as I mentioned I was discontent, he starts. Anything negative I say, his apparently is much worse. He decided he was going to apply for new jobs. So he starts going wild - applying for hundreds of jobs, he had 10+ interviews in one week and constantly updated me on it.

"The field I am in has far fewer posts to apply for, and his field is more common. It seemed anytime I was updating him on an interview or a prospect, he brushed it off and continued telling me about his own. We were both waiting to hear back about last stage interviews - he got his job offered, however I am still in the lurch over mine. He says we need to get out the champers on Saturday to celebrate his news.

"Am I being unreasonable to start thinking its all just orchestrated very conveniently and I am being made to feel absolutely useless as I'm still actively trying while someone who seemingly has no issues with his job just casually applies and gets a new job? I know we are different fields etc so there's no competitiveness with jobs etc and my field is more niche. I just feel that when my news comes, hopefully, that it won't feel as special?"

Many Mumsnet users agreed with the woman and thought her partner's behaviour was strange and competitive. One person said: "I went out with a woman like this before I met my wife and it was tedious as f***. Everything I’d do she’d do one better, if I had a bad day hers was worse. Best thing I did was bin her off." Another added: "This relationship isn't going to last. Cut your losses and run."

Others suggested that he was insecure and possibly jealous of the woman earning more than him. One woman said: "Let me guess, your field pays more than his?" Another commented: "He sounds like a narcissist. Listen to your instincts. It's been only three months, you should be in a honeymoon phase, instead he's constantly competing with you. That's not right."

One person said: "He actually sounds extremely insensitive and up his own a****. He should be encouraging you and supporting you in your journey to find a job you are happy with. Instead it seems like he has turned it into a competition. That's great he has got what he is looking for – I don't think you have." Another added: "He sounds insecure and trouble. Focus on you and what you want."

A few people told the woman that he was a "red flag" but some also thought the woman was overreacting. One woman said: "This seems an odd way of thinking just because he applied for jobs and got one."

Do you think the woman is being unreasonable? Let us know in the comments beneath this article.

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