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Daily Record
Daily Record
Lifestyle
Abbie Meehan

Woman's husband slammed for 'double standards' on changing her name

A woman has been backed by the internet after her husband assumed she would be changing her name to his.

The wife took to online social forum, Reddit, to explain that she had been married to her husband for seven years and had never changed her last name.

She is about to graduate with a PhD, and she was planning to change her name before this happens. The woman was planning to hyphenate her name to two names, in honour of her dad's play doctor name of Dr Johnson when she was younger.

She explained this to her husband, who called her out for lacking 'commitment' - and then an argument ensued.

He said that the woman wasn't taking his feelings seriously and committing to him, to which she called him a hypocrite as he refuses to wear his wedding band - because he "doesn't like the feeling".

Writing on Reddit, the woman said: "My husband and I have been together for nine years, married for seven. I never changed my last name.

"Now I’m about to publish 3 first author papers and graduate within the next few months with my PhD.

"If I’m going to change my name now is the time, after my papers come out I won’t be changing anything.

"Quick background, growing up my dad used to call himself Dr. Johnson (fake last name) whenever he would give me band-aids or check on my booboos, etc.

"It’s a fond memory I have of growing up, as such I want to be Dr. Johnson as kind of a homage to those happy memories.

"So when he brought up changing my name (on his own) I pitched the idea of hyphenating my last name with his, turning into Johnson-Reynolds (fake names but correct # of letters).

"He said he didn’t like hyphenated names because it seemed like a cop-out to real commitment and ‘not real’.

"I relayed the story above to him and he still said the same thing. I followed up with if he’d prefer no name change over a hyphenated name then and he said no name change. So I said okay and went on with my day."

The woman continued: ""That night he called me an a****** for not taking his feelings into consideration and showing “full commitment”.

"I retorted with he was being a hypocrite because he’s completely ignoring my own feelings about the issue.

"I mean, this is the same man who won’t wear his wedding band because he “doesn’t like the feeling” even though I really wish he would and he knows it.

"Today he is being all sulky and won’t talk to me. This isn’t something I’m willing to budge on but am I really being an a****** about it?"

People rushed to the woman's defence in this argument, and slammed the husband for his attitude.

One Reddit user wrote: ""Why is he not changing his name and 'showing commitment'?

"Very funny to not wear your wedding ring but throw around "showing commitment".

"He is being very unfair. His feelings do not trump yours. You want to keep your name.

"He wants you to change your name. You already offered a compromise and he reacted ungrateful as f***.

"This and his sulking would make me livid."

Another said: "If your husband cares so much about you having the same last name, why not take your last name?

"Or is this just some thinly veiled misogynistic expectation for you to take his last name?

Wishing you the best from someone who has also published under their maiden name and has no intentions of changing their last name whose husband is totally chill with it.

"If your husband reads Reddit at all, tell him he's the a******."

And a third wrote: "In light of his feelings on 'full' commitment, I don't think you should even hyphenate unless he is willing to adopt the hyphenate himself."

A fourth added: "Being married in itself is full commitment, not necessarily changing your last name.

"Besides, why would it be a cop-out to hyphenate your last name? You’re literally including his last name in your name.

"If anything, I think he’s the one that’s not being considerate of your feelings. He’s not the one changing his name."

And one said: "Would he take your last name? No? Didn't think so. This has nothing to do with commitment.

"You offered a perfectly good compromise, he can take it or leave it."

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