In theory, when two people get married, that means they accept each other for who they are — the good, the bad, and the ugly. After all, no one is perfect. Sadly, in reality, that’s not always the case.
Let’s take the OP’s marriage — turns out her husband, a person she trusted enough to be intimate with, isn’t a stranger to fat shaming. He waited until she was in the most vulnerable position to bring up how she hasn’t had a proper workout for quite a while. So, no surprise this made the woman beyond humiliated, which isn’t something that should happen in a healthy marriage, is it?
More info: Reddit
While in theory a relationship means you accept each other the way you are, from time to time, the reality isn’t always like that
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman got into the bath with her husband, expecting to spend nice, intimate time with a person she trusts
Image credits: musefoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, his plan was different and as soon as they got in, he decided to point out that she hasn’t worked out in a while
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This made the woman beyond humiliated, as she was in a very vulnerable position, while her husband was criticizing her looks
Image credits: Tarahasmanyquestions
After this, she felt so anxious she could barely eat and barely look at him
One day, while the OP and her husband were taking a bath together, he decided to make a rather unpleasant remark about her body. To be more specific, he started yapping about how the wife hadn’t worked out this week and that they needed to get her into a “proper routine.”
Well, that quickly made the woman feel uncomfortable for a few reasons. First of all, people’s bodies are a sensitive topic. Most of us, no matter how conventionally attractive we are, feel insecure in our skin at least from time to time. And it’s all due to the constantly changing beauty standards that are hard to keep up with. Yet, it’s also hard not to give in to them, which just drives up insecurities.
So, it’s always best to steer clear from discussing other people’s bodies, as crossing an insulting line is way too easy here. Still, some people decide to do so, just like the OP’s husband.
Granted, it isn’t that partners can’t discuss each other’s bodies. It’s best when such conversations are born from a place of care and concern and not something shallow. Pointing out something that doesn’t actually affect a partner’s well-being is rather mean and can be damaging to their self-esteem.
It also matters how these things are brought up – it has to be in a sensitive matter, the one that opens a dialogue and doesn’t point out someone’s fault or flaws. So, basically, the original poster’s husband did everything wrong – he not only meanly talked about his wife’s lack of a fitness regime, but also he did it while they were in an intimate setting – there was no chance it would turn out to be a comfortable conversation.
Image credits: lifestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Besides essentially shaming her, the man also turned a blind eye to the reason why she wasn’t able to work out lately. Apparently, the woman was so busy with her work, but still had to do the cooking and cleaning after coming home, which left her no time for any kind of exercise.
It’s something that some dub “the invincible workload of women.” In a nutshell, it is when women are responsible for many household chores, from remembering to buy needed things or knowing important information to taking care of chores.
While we don’t know how much of all of this the OP takes on, it’s pretty clear that at least the chore part is on her shoulders. That means the husband, who doesn’t have to take care of it, has time for his fitness, which makes his shaming his wife for having a few snacks a nasty behavior.
All of this humiliated the woman so badly, she became too anxious to eat and didn’t want to talk to her spouse. When she wrote about it on Reddit, the folks online couldn’t believe the man’s audacity. They started suggesting that the woman should put herself first – stop cleaning and cooking and instead start doing her own stuff, just like he does.
After all, marriage should be as equal as possible, shouldn’t it? Well, so far theirs is far from it. Hopefully, they’ll find a way to make it better, even if it’s with netizens’ suggestions or something else and the husband will understand the flaws of his ways.
Netizens were startled by the man’s audacity and suggested that the woman should stop doing chores (which leave her no time to exercise) and put herself first, just like he does
