A woman says she's angry at her friend for sending her an invoice for his surveying service, months after he helped her view a property. Whilst the woman feels previously hosting her friend for a short break should qualify as payment, hundreds of people feel she is in the wrong and should definitely pay her friend for his time.
The woman took to the popular forum Mumsnet to explain the situation and ask for advice. She said her friend of 15 years was an architect and she had asked for his advice before purchasing a property. She said her friend had agreed to help her and had let her know his fee before attending the property and carrying out his survey.
Later, the woman and her husband decided to pull out of purchasing the property as it was a "wreck". The woman didn't immediately receive an invoice from her friend so presumed he had waivered the bill since they previously allowed his family to stay with them for a week, free of charge.
On the 'am I being unreasonable' thread, she wrote: "I want to preface this with this: post lockdown summer, our friends couldn’t book into their usual holiday let in the Cotswolds where we live. They live in London. So, we invited them to stay for a week with us instead. They accepted and we had a fun week. We provided bed and board for them and their two boys. We cooked etc. As I recall, they did bring some food with them. But the majority was provided by us. We were glad to do so. Been friends for about 15 years and see them probably once or twice a year.
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"A few months ago we were buying a house. One of [our] friends is an architect. We wanted his advice. He told us his day rate - it would involve a day out of London, and he’d have to stay over with us - we happily put him up, cooked dinner, took him to lunch the next day after our site visit. The rate included some loose plans - brief report and advice on layout.
"The house was a wreck, and on the day, very quickly after advice from the builder and roofer and from our friend, we pulled out of the purchase and went for lunch. We didn’t receive an invoice from [our] friend and just assumed he wasn’t going to invoice at all - he did, despite knowing we weren’t buying it, send an email a few days later with some points in it - none relevant because as he knew, we weren’t going to buy it."
She continued: "Fast forward a few months, and I received an invoice today. A not insignificant sum. He said that they would be in the Cotswolds in a few weeks and would love to meet up. Oh, and he had only just got round to doing some admin so was sending the invoice over. AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to feel really aggrieved? If we had bought the house, I could understand it.
"In the grand scheme of things, he had a week’s free holiday with us. I understand that we agreed his day rate in advance, but I would have expected under these circumstances that he might have waived it, or just asked for travel costs. It's made me want to just pay it, and never speak to them again. Am I being unreasonable?"
The majority of Mumsnet users replied that yes, the woman was being unreasonable and should definitely pay her friend for his time and services. One woman said: "He provided a service for you, so isn't unreasonable on him to still invoice you. If he lost out financially for that, I think it's only fair if a small amount." Another added: "He sounds totally reasonable. This wasn’t a favour. He told you his day rate. You had him come for the day."
Some commenters said the woman's situation was exactly why you 'shouldn't mix business and friendship'. One Mumsnet user said: "You are being unreasonable. You contracted his services. He told you his rates and then he made his visit. Whether you purchased or not is irrelevant. He still did his job.
"This is precisely why business and pleasure should not mix and if they do, you should be very clear in your expectations and needs and also understand that of the other side."
Another added: "This is the problem with having friends to do work for you. You need to separate the holiday and the architect side of things. The fact you didn't end up buying the house is irrelevant, he still took a day out of London to help you. My DH [dear husband] is a plumber and we've come across these awkward situations with friends. Just pay it and move on."
Do you think the woman is being unreasonable to expect her friend to waive his charge? Have you ever had a friend expect you to do something that you usually get paid for, for free? Let us know in the comments beneath this article
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