Your partner should be one of the most supportive people in your life. If you get a huge promotion at work, they should have flowers and champagne ready when you get home. And if you’re struggling with family issues, they should be the first one to offer you a shoulder to cry on.
But after one man shared a “groundbreaking” idea with his girlfriend, she wasn’t able to get behind his plans. Below, you’ll find the full story that she recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the advice readers left her.
Most people rely on their romantic partner for support in any situation
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But this woman just can’t get behind the “groundbreaking” idea that her boyfriend has suddenly become consumed with
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman clarified a few more details about her situation
Image credits: Rich-Painter-9008
You can always find a way to show your partner support, even if you don’t necessarily agree with their ideas
It can be heartbreaking to hear that your partner doesn’t support your dreams. Whether you want to be a professional DJ or the president of your country, finding out that the person you love most doesn’t believe in you can be a bitter pill to swallow.
PsychCentral notes that some of the reasons why a person might not believe in their partner’s career aspirations are because they feel threatened, they’re inconvenienced by these dreams, they’re jealous, they’re concerned for their partner’s safety and/or they don’t take their dreams seriously.
But should we be expected to blindly support our romantic partners, or should we be a bit more realistic? According to Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW, you can still support your partner as a person, even if you don’t support the idea or cause that they’re chasing.
“It’s possible to tell your partner in a loving way that you disagree, and that’s okay,” the relationship expert explains. “You’re not obligated to be untrue to your own convictions or to compromise your values or integrity for anyone.”
In a romantic relationship, you and your partner should be able to disagree on certain issues or topics without that resulting in an explosive fight. You can respect one another’s opinions and beliefs.
But if your partner is engaging in harmful or illegal behavior, Fensterheim notes that it’s definitely appropriate to intervene. And if you disagree on fundamental issues that are deal breakers for you, you always have the right to end the relationship.
Mixing romance and finances is often risky for a relationship
In this particular situation, the man isn’t only upset about the lack of moral support he’s receiving. He’s also looking for a significant amount of financial support. Now, money can be a sensitive topic for many couples. In fact, the American Psychological Association reports that money is a major source of conflict in almost a third of all relationships. So it’s probably a good idea to think long and hard before deciding to lend your partner a substantial amount of money.
ABC News Australia suggests considering a few important factors before handing your partner cash: their financial history and current situation; if they’ve ever asked for money before; how long you’ve been together; how much you trust them; what your financial situation is like; how it might impact your relationship; where else your partner can get this money; and whether it’s a gift or a loan.
Because you love and trust your partner, you might be tempted to give them anything they ask for. But the reality is that loaning them money can put a huge strain on the relationship. It’s not worth it to put yourself into debt to help your partner, and it’s always okay to say no if you can’t afford to help them.
Kate Lloyd, manager of clinical supervision at Relationships Australia Queensland, suggests being direct with your partner about why you’re unable to give them exactly what they’ve asked for.
But you may be able to offer them a portion of the money they need, if it won’t harm your own financial situation. And, of course, you can always sit down with your partner and help them figure out a plan to earn the money.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this “groundbreaking” idea deserves support? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Many readers sided with the woman and shared concerns about her boyfriend’s mental health
However, some thought that she was being too hard on her boyfriend
