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Louise Thomas
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A woman has made the decision not to attend her sister’s wedding after discovering that the groom is her ex-fiancé.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**Hole?” subreddit, the woman explained that she had been engaged to her fiancé Mike for two years, and together for five years, before she found out he was cheating on her three months before their wedding date.
“It was devastating, and I called off the wedding immediately. Mike moved away shortly after we broke up, and I thought that was the end of it. I was heartbroken, but I slowly started to move on with my life,” her Reddit post read.
Last month, her younger sister Lily called her wanting to share “exciting news” while having dinner with their parents. She then randomly surprised them all by announcing that she is engaged to Mike, according to the Reddit post.
“Lily and Mike had been secretly dating for the past year, and now they were engaged. My parents had known about it for months but decided to keep it from me to ‘protect my feelings.’ They actually thought I’d be happy for them eventually,” she wrote.
Lily explained that the two of them didn’t start to date until after they were “officially over” and that their relationship was “meant to be.”
According to the Reddit user, she ended up leaving the dinner and telling her family that she wanted “nothing” to do with the wedding.
AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?
byu/AlisonVio inAmItheAsshole
“Since then, my parents and Lily have been bombarding me with calls and texts, calling me selfish and saying I’m overreacting. They claim that true love is rare and I should be supportive of Lily’s happiness,” the Reddit post continued.
However, with the wedding date soon approaching, her parents have threatened to stop providing her with money. Meanwhile, the woman said her friends have given her varied advice, with some thinking she should attend the wedding to publicly show that the two of them being together doesn’t bother her, while others think she has a right to be angry and should not attend.
“To add insult to injury, Lily recently asked if I would be her maid of honor, claiming she wants to mend our relationship. This request has left me torn — I don’t want to ruin our family dynamic further, but I can’t shake the hurt and betrayal I feel,” the post concluded.
After posting, many people took to the comments to let the woman know that she was better off not attending the wedding, adding that it would be possible for Mike to cheat again.
“Sure you cannot control them ending up together. They started dating after your relationship had ended. If your sister is in love with your sloppy seconds and a known cheater, all the best to her. I think deep down you will process the truth of that for yourself, and maintain your relationship with your sister,” one comment began.
“BUT you NEED the time to process this... dropping the bombshell on you two months before the wedding. Expecting you to just get over your feelings and be a part of the wedding party as well is A LOT to ask in this situation. Your parents AND sister made a horrific mistake in NOT informing you of this sooner, and giving you time to process your feelings.”
Another commenter questioned if it was possible that her sister was the person Mike cheated on her with to begin with.
“The timeline here seems somewhat questionable. You were supposed to get married like 12 months ago but broke up 15 months ago and they have magically been together for 12 months? IDK, maybe, but have you considered the possibility that she is the one he cheated with?” they wrote.
“It’s bewildering to me that all the adults in this situation accept all this without question, and are putting the pressure on you to do the same... that’s WILD. It sucks to face the prospect of losing financial support but you might be better off without the lot of them having much of a role in your life.”
