Generally, ultimatums do not make a good relationship. This is doubly as true when the demands are completely out of place and involve something like a beloved pet. This is exactly the case one woman found herself in when she asked the internet if she was wrong to pick her dog over her boyfriend when he gave her an ultimatum.
People online were quick to rush to the animal’s defense and did their best to tell her that losing this man was all for the best. We reached out to the woman in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us. We also got in touch with Dr. Wendy Walsh, a relationship expert from Dating Advice to learn more.
More info: Dating Advice
Getting an ultimatum in a relationship tends to be a pretty big deal
Image credits: Rob Fuller / unsplash (not the actual photo)
But one woman second guessed her own decision to pick her dog over her boyfriend
Image credits: Last-Vanilla-5758
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / pexels (not the actual photo)
There are some questions folks need to answer for themselves before just committing to a serious relationship
Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Wendy Walsh, a relationship expert from Dating Advice and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions about the things people need to think about before getting into a more serious relationship.
“People need to ask themselves (and their partner!) if they are compatible with the three “F’s” of love. It’s Family. Finances. Future Goals. Let’s break them down: First of all, I feel that I need to debunk the myth that good sex means a good long-term relationship,” she shared. Many of us plan out our future with someone in our heads before actually understanding what they are like.
“When the cocktail of lustful neurohormones lose their potency, every monogamous relationship must get creative, add novelty, and do the work necessary to keep that aspect of their relationship alive. As the love pheromones die down, however, other aspects of the relationship become more important.”
A long term relationship can’t just run on vibes
Image credits: Jasmin Wedding Photography / pexels (not the actual photo)
“And these are the things we must ask ourselves before we commit to a life together:
Family – If at least one of you are in their childbearing years, a discussion about reproduction is crucial. Do you want to have kids? If so, when? Does one or both of you already have kids? If so, are you ready to be a stepparent? Going blindly into a marriage with the hope that the two of you are in this area can be a prescription for disaster.”
“Finances – If you can’t talk in detail about money, then you have no business noodling into the future. While spenders and savers can get along, they have to create financial common ground for basic living expenses that are non-negotiables. Ask yourself if you should be entering into a union with your own or your partner’s burden of debt. If you have assets, ask yourself how you can protect those assets.”
“Future – Before you commit, ask yourself where you’d like to be in five years, ten years, or even twenty? I know that John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans,” but if you don’t start out with a shared plan, where are you at? Talk about careers, how you’ll do the work/family balance, where you’d like to live, and maybe even how you’d like to retire.”
A good way to communicate this with a potential partner is to just share your own experience
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / pexels (not the actual photo)
We also wanted to know her thoughts on the importance of folks sharing their experiences online. “Yes, it’s important that people share their relationship history. There is a common denominator in every one of our past relationships, and it’s US! By hearing about your journey, your partner will get to know you better. To avoid judgement about some of your more shameful partners, couch each story with, “You wouldn’t believe what I learned there!” Tell the stories as adventures in personal growth, instead of past failures.”
“Probably the biggest Red Flag in a potential long-term partner is someone who is estranged from their family of origin and/or friends who represent their roots. You’ve got to meet the tribe who shaped them, and they’ve got to meet yours. I used to host a show for Investigation Discovery Network called “Happily Never After.” It was a show about brides or grooms who murdered each other. Note: It was usually the groom who did the deed. And in almost every case, the couple had eloped. They didn’t allow they’re greater tribe, their friends and family, to weigh in on their relationship. Relationships are a bridge between tribes and it’s very important that you get to know the familial and social world that you’re entering.”
People were quick to side with the dog
Others shared their own examples of dogs being a pretty good judge of character
She later came back and gave a small update
