A first date for the majority of single people will involve dinner and a few drinks followed by a slightly awkward chat about who is picking up the bill - but not for Zanela*. Her potential suitors have far grander things in mind to impress her, and she's revealed it's not uncommon for a man to fly her to a different country for a romantic getaway.
She admits she has never been on a date with an ‘average Joe’ and normally goes for older men and CEOs - who she knows will have the financial means to enjoy a luxury lifestyle. Men would typically spend from the low thousands up to £100,000 to impress the 26-year-old travel influencer, who also has her own skincare business.
This can include private jets, yachts, being wined and dined in fancy hotels and top restaurants, and event tickets such as Formula 1 in Monaco - where Zanela was taken on a date earlier this year. In the past four weeks alone, the Canadian-born entrepreneur, currently living in London, has been flown to Monaco, Paris, Cannes, and Switzerland for dates.
She is among the women who know exactly what they are looking for in a potential suitor and is part of the new social trend in online dating - ‘Dating Up’ - where people seek a partner to elevate their own lifestyle and social status, according to Mirror Online.
Zanela - who meets people on the dating app Seeking, which has a monthly membership from £80 - said: “Nine out of 10 of my dates have been CEOs because I like people who are super successful and are super financially free and CEOs typically have the most freedom with their own schedules.
“They tend to be millionaires and billionaires. That’s important because I want to be successful and create that lifestyle. But ultimately, it’s about the personality and the vibe.”
Zanela, who says she comes from a hardworking family with an artistic background, says she craves beauty.
“My lifestyle essentially entails just amazing, beautiful, experiences. I love spontaneous trips and love the freedom to travel widely, I love exploring different cultures and this way of dating gives me the opportunity to do that,” she adds.
“I love luxury - luxury goods, fashion. I’m naturally drawn to quality things. It’s a lifestyle where it’s very easy, very convenient, very beautiful and inspiring and exciting. Being around like-minded people has shown me this is what I want in my life.”
Usually, Zanela will set her dating app location to a place she would like to visit. She will then speak to potential dates in that area until she has a connection with one of them.
This can also include feeling like she can be mentored by them too for advice with her business. She will spend a day or two chatting online, including having a video call so she can see they are who they say they are.
Photos will also be assessed so she can check for “anything shady” in the pics. Zanela will Google their name and number and company details to see if they match up.
Then, she will be invited to stay for a few days or longer in the location of choice and will be put up in a hotel. Often, if Zanela feels comfortable, she will give them her passport details so they can book her flights - usually last-minute for a spontaneous trip which is all part of the “thrill” of it, she says.
“My schedule is flexible too, I don’t have a nine to five and I don’t have a boss to answer to,” Zanela explains. “For my work as a travel influencer, I’m supposed to take photos and build content from it so sometimes I would set my location to somewhere else and connect with men from those cities.
“Then if we match, it’s mostly being asked ‘hey, do you want to come and visit me?’ or ‘do you want to fly here’ and I’m like ‘hey, why not, let’s do it.”
Asked whether instances like those depicted on Netflix ’s Tinder Swindler - where women were scammed out of millions by a man they met on Tinder - have made her more cautious, Zanela says: ”Definitely. But also, I have my own money. I’m super independent.
“So if anything goes wrong, I will just leave. The first date will always be public and then if the vibe is off, I’ll just be like, ‘hey, you know what, like, I’m gonna fly back home’.
“I’m not as worried about meeting a scammer because I know that if anything feels off, I trust my intuition and I can act accordingly. You need to make sure everything’s safe and have done your research and to make sure the person is like reliable. He also will want to make sure I’m a real person too and that I’m not a ‘catfish’.”
Her favourite ever date was in Paris - where the pair started with lavish dinner plans before watching the Eiffel Tower sparkle.
They spent the next day at the Louvre art museum and later in the evening dressed up for the opera. Zanela’s dates are more likely to be in their mid to late forties and she admits she has always preferred older men who she knows will be able to look after her.
“I’ve always been told I’m very mature for my age,” she continues. “I tend to like older men and I love like being mentored - that’s a big thing for me because I’m starting my own business.
“I like having the age gap because I actually get a lot out of it. Personally and professionally.
“I think all women have that natural inclination to seek someone that can take care of them and have a stress-free life but still can be super independent. I want to make my own money so I’m not mooching off.
“But I also love when someone can provide that for me and so I feel safe. I want to be secure and it’s also nice to have something to fall back on to if anything goes wrong with my own business, you know? I find that super sexy in a man and super masculine to be able to be taken care of.”
Zanela has used the elite dating site on and off for six years after she was first introduced to how it all works by a friend at university.
Her friend is now married with a child with a man she met on the app. Before then, Zanela had become frustrated at being disappointed in the selection of men available on regular dating sites. “I’m really picky. I haven’t dated an average Joe before, to be honest,” she adds.
Aside from experiences that she otherwise wouldn’t be able to do, she argues travelling with dates also allows her to get to know someone on a deeper level more quickly compared to conventional dating.
“You get to know the person really well and you really get to have like a deep dive - it’s like being pushed into the deep end of a swimming pool,” Zanela says.
“It fast tracks the dating process and I like that in a way because it gives a good sense of ‘do you want to be with this person or not?’ Because sometimes on the first date you might see a flaw and you get really turned off and you never see that person again, but you never really know if that person just had a bad day or whatever.
“So when you spend a lot of time with them travelling, you can see more of them holistically and it gives you more an opportunity to see like ‘okay, how does my life fit into theirs?’” Zanela, who is casually dating until she finds the right person to settle down with and marry, says to anyone who criticises her way of finding her perfect match is that it’s natural.
“If you look at the academic literature on ‘dating up’ and the evolution theories, females generally are attracted to men with greater resources - it’s biologically wired,” she says.
“I actually don’t find a lot of people criticise me for it, but if they do, then I would just be like, ‘hey, this is my life, this is what I value and these are my goals.’
“I’m going to go for what I want in life. I’m happy, go live your life.” *Zanela’s full name has been changed to protect her anonymity.
Don't miss the latest news from around Scotland and beyond - Sign up to our daily newsletter here.
READ NEXT:
- Scots Tinder swindler ‘conned pals out of non-existent round at St Andrews Old Course'
- Scots Tinder Swindler exposed as convicted conman trawling dating apps for new victims
- Tinder swindler cons victims out of thousands of pounds in elaborate date fraud scam
- Woman who dated The Tinder Swindler reveals five red flags as new Netflix doc captivates viewers
