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Daily Record
Daily Record
Lifestyle
Ketsuda Phoutinane

Woman missed grandchild's birth to attend other daughter's wedding

Big life events have a habit of provoking family drama and reopening old wounds. In perhaps the ultimate test of favouritism, one mum has devastated her daughter by missing the birth of her first child - in favour of her other daughter's wedding.

The woman was put in an awkward situation where she had to choose between the joyous events. An unnamed poster shared that her daughter Sophia - with whom she's had "rough patches" - gave birth weeks early on the wedding day of her sister Nichole.

Now weeks later, Sophia hasn't talked to her since. The mum spelled out the tricky situation over social media, asking others if her decision was "cruel" to one child.

Writing on the "Am I the A******" forum, the woman shared: "I am the mother to two wonderful daughters; Sophia, 32 and Nichole 26 and I'm really not sure if I was cruel toward Sophia for my decision or not. Nichole got married this year and Sophia had her first child which is my first grandchild.

"I've had a good relationship with both my daughters and I've always tried to make sure neither of them felt like I favored the other but I admit there were some rough patches with Sophia.

"When Nichole got engaged she asked if I would walk her down the aisle since her father has never been in her life. I asked her what about her uncles or brother and she said no, she wanted me. I was more than happy to agree and helped her plan her wedding."

She explained the timing: "My daughter Sophia announced her pregnancy around the beginning of the year. The timing panned out that she would be due after Nichole's wedding so she asked if I would be in the delivery room with her and stay with her and her husband for a few weeks after the baby was born to help out."

The woman's daughter refused to see her after giving birth (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Adding that she was "very excited" as she and Sophia live in the same town, she said staying with her daughter wouldn't have been a problem at all as they see each other "almost daily".

She continued: "Instead, Sophia went into labor almost 3 weeks early; the afternoon before Nichole's wedding. I missed Sophia's first call because I was already almost 2.5 hours away where Nichole lives and helping set things up and doing last minutes errands to help.

"When I called her back I found out she was in labor and she wanted me to get there as soon as possible. I told Sophia I would do the best I could and would let her know immediately when I'd be there.

"I explained the situation to Nichole, who understandably also wanted me to be there for her but understood that Sophia wanted me with her too."

Her daughter Nichole made the decision to change her wedding day at the last minute to accommodate the early birth.

The bride-to-be offered a 'good compromise' (Getty Images/Wavebreak Media)

The mum went on: "Nichole was able to move her ceremony to the morning and make it a quick 25ish minute ceremony and there would just be a few hours gap between the ceremony and reception. I thought this was a good compromise that would let me be there for both of my girls. I called Sophia and she wanted me to get there that night.

"I asked if her husband was with her and she said yes, so I asked her to please consider him as a second choice until I could get there. Sophia got upset and told me to forget about it.

"I got to the hospital early the next afternoon and missed the birth by a couple of hours. Sophia was so mad she didn't want me to come in when she was moved to a room.

"I thought that was understandable and she would talk to me soon but it's been a couple of weeks now and I have tried to apologize to her."

Attempting to mend the rift, she concluded: "I've talked to my son-in-law and he said they're both mad that I chose to ditch Sophia when she needed me most for a party. So I am here asking an outsider's perspective if I was wrong to not go to the hospital right away. AITA?"

The woman later edited the post to add: "I did not stay for Nichole's reception. I left immediately following the ceremony, she still had to wait a few hours from the end of her wedding ceremony in the morning until her reception that afternoon. It could not be pushed back later in the day due to the reception venue having an event in the evening."

The viral story attracted over 3,500 comments as people rushed to weigh in on the drama. Sharing the post on Twitter, a social media user called the post "one of the most hotly contested threads" ever seen on the forum.

The woman is on the outs with one daughter, not having talked to her in weeks (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Many posters commended Nichole for rescheduling her wedding whilst others offered sympathy to the woman who gave birth without her mother.

A top comment said: "NTA (Not the A******) and I'm really surprised by the responses here. A wedding is not just a party. It's a once in a lifetime event and almost by definition has parents there to celebrate (unless there's an exceptionally strained relationship).

"Childbirth is a medical procedure that usually only has 1-2 support people and in many families happens 2-3 or more times. It's nice, but not common or even expected, to have grandma there."

One person rebutted: "i see a lot of men in the replies saying giving birth isn't as important as a wedding. y'all know giving birth is 10x more stressful and dangerous compared to walking down the [aisle] right? husbands are kinda useless in the delivery room tbh, every woman wants their mom in there."

"NAH (No A****** Here) - Two major life events for your daughters overlapped in a way that was out of anyone's control," another said.

"You tried to be there for both, even getting the ceremony time adjusted to further accommodate, but ultimately one party was going to be disappointed no matter what. I think you did your best in an unwinnable situation, and Sophia will come to understand that in time."

"It was the baby's fault for coming early. I think you tried your best in a no win situation," one person quipped.

What's your take - and what would you have done in this situation?

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