Finding the right partner can be challenging for some people. Not only is the endless search frustrating, but it can also impact one’s self-esteem and mental health.
A woman with the username Iwilldrawjapan is in this exact predicament. She shared her story on the forum site Mumsnet, revealing a 13-year streak of failed relationships.
The original poster (OP) describes herself as attractive, financially independent, and with a good family dynamic. After much self-questioning, she is seeking advice from the internet.
Some people have trouble finding love
The woman in today’s story admits she has not been able to find a suitable match
She has been struggling for the last 13 years despite being a “good catch” by standard definition
Society is a plausible contributor to the difficulty of modern dating
Image credits: Jep Gambardella/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The OP admitted to exhausting all efforts to find a potential mate and a relationship that sticks. But according to experts, modern society could be making it more difficult for people to find “the one.”
“The advent of dating apps and social media connecting us to more than just the people we know in our areas or might serendipitously meet somewhere [is making it more difficult],” family therapist and writer Theodora Blanchfield, AMFT, wrote in an article for Very Well Mind.
“If you’re thinking dating now is harder than it was in your parents’ generation or even ten or fifteen years ago, you’re not wrong.”
Along with familial nurturing, Blanchfield included societal expectations as a possible factor.
“The animated movies and fairy tales many of us absorbed as children were heavy on a damsel in distress being rescued by the prince and living happily ever after.
“Thus, many women were socialized to believe that they ‘needed’ a man to take care of them, and perhaps they also learned that messaging at home, if their parents were very traditional.”
Single people must prioritize finding someone who’s willing to accept them for who they are
Image credits: Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo)
While there are numerous traits to look for in a potential mate, experts advise prioritizing acceptance. Here’s what celebrity divorce attorney Laura Wasser told Business Insider in an interview.
“Look for a person who embraces you, warts and all,” she said. “You know, those little quirks and oddball habits that make you uniquely you.
“Maybe it’s your obsession with collectible stamps, your love of heavy metal, or your Sunday morning ritual of making waffles in your pajamas. They don’t just tolerate these idiosyncrasies. They find them endearing.”
The OP’s disappointment is understandable, considering that her streak of bad luck has continued for over a decade. But once she finds someone who is willing to accept her, regardless of her flaws, she will experience sheer joy.
The OP provided more information by answering some questions in the comments
Some offered their suggestions
And while others encouraged her to keep going, a few pointed out what they believed the problem was
