A woman says she's been pleased to see her career take off over the past few years, so much so that she's now earning a six-figure salary. She never dreamed however that this would mean she'd be expected to be the sole provider for her family, until a recent heated conversation with her husband.
When the couple first met around 10 years ago, they both had 'c***** jobs', and had 'always agreed it would be 50/50 struggling together'.
In recent times, however, and particularly in the past year, the 30-year-old woman has seen her pay far exceed that of her husband, and she now takes care of a lot of the bills, family trips, and various fun activities.
She was quite happy with this arrangement until her husband made a remark 'about how soon he won't have to work at his job', leaving her taken aback.
Taking to Reddit, the anonymous hardworking wife and mother wrote: "Our kids are school age so there is no need for a full-time parent and I NEVER agreed to that.
"So I very firmly said, 'Um, I never dreamt of financially providing for a grown man... if you stop working, I will lose respect for you'. It got very silent and I asked if he understood we were on the same page and he said yes.
"I know my husband's dream is to just do his art (he has always done this on the side while working but has never made money) and he has always dreamt of a way to make that full-time, letting him quit working while I pay for everything feels like leeching. At the same time that doesn’t sound supportive at all of me."
Now she wonders whether she could have handled the situation differently. Although she could technically support the family, she doesn't think this is an excuse for him to take a step back.
Although she'd be okay with him going part-time, she says she'd also expect this to mean him doing lots more around the house, a prospect that makes her 'feel like some patriarch from the 50s'.
One fellow Reddit user advised: "He didn't discuss it with you, he just started saying how much he was looking forward to not working anymore. Like it was a done deal.
"These are things that need to be discussed and agreed on. And you are well within your rights to say you don't want to be the sole breadwinner, even if you make enough to do so. That would be a deal breaker for a lot of folks."
Another commented: "If he is truly serious about his art, spending lots of time on it, taking courses to learn and improve, actively trying to display and sell art at weekend festivals, then maybe he could make a case for a year-long leave of absence from his paying job to make a go of it.
"If he's a dabbler who just dreams of being an artist without a real effort towards making that a goal, then you should absolutely not be okay with that being his excuse to stop working and living off your income."
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