A woman has revealed how she went on a date with her ex-boyfriend after 22 years – but soon found out he was already seeing somebody else.
Jen Kaarlo, 38, a content manager and writer living in London, wasn’t looking for love when her ex-boyfriend messaged after spotting her on Tinder while she was visiting home for the festive period in Denver, Colorado, US.
In the spring of 2001, the high school sweethearts began their whirlwind romance, but this shortly came to an end after he enlisted himself in the Navy and the two lost touch over the years.
Fast forward to 2022, when her first love asked to meet up for dinner while she was in town – which she accepted in the hopes of a Ben Affleck and J-Lo moment.
But after 22 years and the long distance between them, Jen was shocked to find out he was already in a relationship, and her hopes of a rekindled romance were crushed.
“We only had a limited amount of time to spend together before I went back to London for New Year – so we saw each other almost every day,” she said.
“There was a lot of shared love and a lot of talk about our future, even going as far as to say we would try a long-distance relationship and commit to flying back every few weeks à la Harry and Meghan.
“But then, it sadly transpired that he had been seeing someone, albeit non-exclusively, which was disappointing.
“It was a rather robust 180 turn from what he was suggesting in the beginning and I was very surprised, especially as he was the one who initiated all the contact – on a dating app too.
“I wasn’t sure about replying [at first] and I wondered how he knew I was back but chalked it up to mutual friends spilling the beans.
“But, in fact, he stumbled across my profile on Tinder and sent a super like, which I didn’t see for a few days.
"He then also sent a message on Facebook suggesting to me he was super keen to spend time together.
“I was only doing a little bit of swiping with my dad and his partner to see what might come of it, especially as they said I needed to end my self-imposed dry streak.
“My dad was the one who actually encouraged me to give it a go, which was surprising considering he isn’t my ex’s biggest fan.
“But he said maybe after all this time, it was possible we were in the right place at the right time.
"I know my dad was disappointed that it didn't work out and he told me on this trip back home how he pulled my ex aside when I was 17 and told him he wasn't good enough for me then and would never be good enough for me.
"My dad suggested that he hoped things had changed, but sadly, things didn't turn out the way we had both been hoping."
This isn’t the first time the pair have seen one another since their heart-breaking split all those years ago.
Over the years, they’ve kept in touch every now and again, with their previous meeting in London back in 2018 – but the experience was very different from their most recent.
She said: “He made some references at our last meeting that didn’t seem to suggest he was waiting for me after 22 years.
“We’ve got a rather robust history and I was tentative about opening that can of worms again.
"Back in 2013, he reconnected with me shortly before I got married and suggested I was 'the one' and our breakup was the greatest regret of his life.
“He's also been very unsupportive of the life I’ve worked so hard to cultivate, where he made mean-spirited comments about the industry I work in, as well as where I live.
“It was strange for him to talk about how he loved me for the last two decades, as it felt more like he was in love with the old me versus looking to connect meaningfully with the person I have become.”
Rather than dwelling on the upsetting feat, she decided to take the encounter with gratitude and has used the experience as a “lesson” for future relationships.
Speaking about her ordeal, she added: “I’m grateful for the experience and maybe, it was just what I needed to launch myself into 2023.
“While it didn’t end up being my 'Bennifer' moment or the ending of a Hallmark Christmas Film, I’m glad I leaned into the experience.
“I spent most of 2022 not dating and focusing on myself, where I started to wonder if I had gotten a bit too comfortable being single.
“But, the truth is, I opened up like a flower in the summer sun and I’m not a cynic after all – I have a whole lot of love to give.
"I think I’m finally ready to give this thing called love a go again, and maybe my high school ex was the one to help me realise it.”
