A woman on Reddit explained why she walked out of her family’s Thanksgiving dinner when her mother brought out a pumpkin pie.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” forum, the woman opened up about her annual holiday plans at her mother’s home. She noted that the occasion is usually small as it includes her parents, her brother and his family, and her sister-in-law’s family.
She also noted that they have a “no-politics” rule at the dinner table and that they try their best to “be civil,” since they’re not a “tight-knit family.”
“We rarely see each other beyond these events since my brother lives in South Africa and I travel a lot due to my work,” she explained. “Thanksgiving is important to my mom since it’s one of the rare times we’re all together.”
She then explained that her mother is won’t to make “passive-aggressive” comments about her 32-year-old daughter’s “life choices.” Although the woman addressed this behavior, her mother “doesn’t really seem aware of it.”
Things took a turn when it was time for dessert, which the Reddit user was “explicitly put in charge of.” So, she made a maple cheesecake for the occasion since she’s not a fan of pumpkin pie — which is what her mother usually makes.
“I thought perhaps we could try something new. As I was bringing out the cheesecake, my mom eyed it somewhat warily and announced that she’d decided to make the usual pie as well,” she continued. “This caught me off guard. I asked why she didn’t tell me beforehand, and she said something like, ‘Well, we figured you’d do your own thing, so I thought it was best to have a backup.’”
However, the woman’s mother began to serve the pumpkin pie to guests, telling her daughter to “leave the cheesecake in the kitchen.” When guests asked to try the cheesecake, the woman’s mother responded by telling them not to “mix too many flavors at once.”
The woman was so upset about the situation that she got up and walked out of the house.
“I know it’s immature for an adult to get this upset over a triviality, but I just (politely) refused as she was handing me a slice of pie, retrieved my coat, and left,” she added. “People were calling after me I think, but by that point, I was crying for some reason.”
She shared that she received texts from her family, including one from her mother claiming “it was incredibly rude and immature” of her to leave Thanksgiving dinner that way.
“My brother also sent me a message saying I’m acting irrationally. I feel horrible for leaving so abruptly, especially because my parents are getting older and we are already not close,” she concluded.
The post has quickly gained traction, with more than 13,000 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the woman’s decision to leave the dinner, as they criticized her mother for her comments. They also scrutinized the woman’s mother for serving her pumpkin pie over the cheesecake.
“If I were a guest, I’d be pissed as hell if someone told me I had to eat a mid-pumpkin pie (and let’s admit, most of them are) when there was MAPLE CHEESECAKE available!” one wrote.
“[The original poster] OP was told to bring a dessert, wasn’t told what to make, and it was known they don’t like pumpkin pie. So mom brought out the pumpkin pie and all but said ‘no one’s going to eat OP’s dessert.’ That’s deliberately cruel, not trivial. OP wasn’t overreacting at all,” another added.
“If your mother’s way of ‘fussing and expressing that she cares’ looks, sounds, and feels like she’s being a deliberately nasty person then I’m guessing she is really just being a deliberately nasty person,” a third responded. “Your mother premeditated the whole dessert thing right down to the kick in the teeth of excluding the dessert you made from the table. She got off on being cruel in this petty way for whatever warped reason.”
